Arm tied Behind My Back.....

So I am compelled to write a little tonight even though I am basically exhausted by the day’s events. If any men out there are married to their soul mate they will understand this. My wife had a procedure today at the hospital that was supposed to be outpatient surgery and long story short, she will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. She’s in good hands right? No big deal right? Right and wrong.

This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.

So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.

I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.

That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.