So it’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything. Dealing with family and personal issues that have pretty much consumed my time. A lot has happened in this crazy world since I last wrote. I’ve tried to stay below the radar because some of my views might not be completely popular so better sometimes to keep things bottled in this head of mine. It’s a change I’ve tried to make. If I am asked my opinion I gladly will share but otherwise I am trying to remain somewhat un-political.
One trend I am seeing is this tendency to belittle or make fun of certain Walmart shoppers. While they seem to bring it upon themselves in many cases, for a reason I am uncertain of, it is making me increasingly uncomfortable. It is almost a kind of sport for some and that’s fine but I have a hard time with it lately so I steer clear, as much as possible, in engaging in the behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone who finds it entertaining, I just choose not to get involved.
Another thing I am realizing over these past few years is just how families are changing. Large families that stay connected seem to be an endangered species. I think it’s a result of how spread out our society has become. I also think that with the dawn of social media we lean much more heavily on electronic communication and much less on face to face visits. That’s sad, in my opinion. One of my real joys of childhood was to go to my Grandmother’s house on Sundays, sometimes for dinner, sometimes to just visit and sometimes to steal a few carrots from my Grandfather’s garden. It was a simple joy and it was certainly just taken for granted. I remember how excited I would be when my cousins were visiting. Family was just more connected and closer. I look back now and realize just how good we really had it. Not in terms of money but certainly in terms of family interaction. Texting just doesn’t get it for me and I am a hideous conversationalist on the phone. Will this family dynamic ever change? I can’t see it but I do know I miss it.
I am in a melancholy mood tonight. I have been thinking about all of the people in my life that have left this world for the next and as I start to count them up it becomes a sad event. Friends through church, a wife, all of my parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins…..if I look at the losses one by one it’s much easier than looking at the total but anyway I look, it is not easy. I guess what is becoming more real to me each year is my mortality. Living a good long life has its positives but also one drawback is you see a lot of loved ones leave before you. There is no fix for this, it just is and for some reason this evening it has pushed to the forefront in my mind.
I really try to focus on the blessings I have and how very fortunate I am to have what I do have because there are many not so fortunate but some nights those other thoughts creep in and when they do I must ponder them. I am blessed. I have relatively good health, a roof over my head and a soul mate that completes my dreams with me. Why is there a side of human nature that exists which makes us want more and want to do better? My guess is if there wasn’t that facet to humanity we might have gone extinct many years ago. The problem is it can be taken too far. I don’t begrudge anyone who works their tail off to reap the rewards of that effort. What bothers me though is there are many in that situation that not only take it for granted but do nothing to help the less fortunate and that is really in my eyes a crime against humanity. Yes we want to do well for ourselves and yes we always want to try and do better but somehow we must never forget what got us there and perhaps who helped us to get there.
I really am aimlessly rambling with an occasional lucid thought so if you take anything away from this, it is that everyone, I think anyhow, has some of these thoughts. We may not be able to fix many of the things I’ve mentioned but sometimes just verbalizing them helps us to make sense of this crazy world.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Politics and Humanity
Has politics outrun humanity? There was a time in a not too distant galaxy where the two actually worked together. Where you couldn’t really have one without considering the other. Is this a thing of the past? I hope not but with the trend of recent events it would seem so.
How do we take a beheading and almost forget the human tragedy side and only look at it through a political prism? Perhaps it’s only our less than esteemed politicians doing this because everyone I talk to is sickened by it and wants our government to do something and that is Liberals, Conservatives, Libertarians, Democrats and Republicans. So at the basic human level I think most want some sort of a response other than we are launching a “criminal investigation”. Come on! Is NYPD going to just fly over to Iraq or Syria and handcuff the bad guys and read them their rights? Don’t forget the “freeze police!” command. That ought to do it.
I think we are at a real crossroads in our country. We’ve all seen the Religious aspect of our nation trending downward. With this it would seem our humanity is slowly dying. We are fast becoming more concerned about making sure that our rights are not infringed or we are not offended or offending anyone else to the point that no one shows concern for much of anything else. I’m not saying rights are not important and, in fact, our basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are more important than ever. The PURSUIT of happiness. No one, unfortunately has the right to happiness. Happiness is a distinct result of actions taken. The problem as I see it is everyone thinks we have a right to anything we claim we have a right to and therefore we have a right to be wealthy on the back of someone who has attained wealth. A right. How about we have a right to be able to pursue the same things in life to achieve that result?
Back to the original topic. Do we have a right to life? I’m not talking about the polarizing and emotion filled topic of abortion. I am asking the simple question…do we have a right to life? Many are probably saying yes and to those I then ask do we have a right to death? Do we have a RIGHT to death? Death is an outcome of events that we sometimes cause and sometimes do not cause. Life is the same but we don’t think of the two as the same. I would submit that life is a miracle. I know the science behind it but life is still a miracle. The merging of the egg and the sperm in just the right way can cause life. It is not a right….it is a miracle. So the Declaration of Independence says we have an unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Hard to argue with that document but if we looked at it in its simplest terms abortion is infringing on the fetus’ right to life. I said I wasn’t going down that path and I will stop it there.
I guess that with all of the turmoil in the world right now and the uncertainty of just where it is leading makes me think about how I am so blessed to be able to enjoy my life and my pursuit of at least those three things previously mentioned. I look at things in that way and then I watch our government. They are more concerned about the power levied on them in the political arena and therefore they base all of their decisions always looking at how it will either increase or decrease their power over the people. Politics has become all about power and influence. The human element has been lost. Just some of my thoughts this morning. My opinions and although I still have a right to express them….you have a right to ignore, disagree or agree and move on about your business. I just hope that some day in the not too distant future our politicians become humans again and look not only at how their behaviors are affecting other humans but I hope they take a good long look in the mirror and realize politics and humanity should always be together.
How do we take a beheading and almost forget the human tragedy side and only look at it through a political prism? Perhaps it’s only our less than esteemed politicians doing this because everyone I talk to is sickened by it and wants our government to do something and that is Liberals, Conservatives, Libertarians, Democrats and Republicans. So at the basic human level I think most want some sort of a response other than we are launching a “criminal investigation”. Come on! Is NYPD going to just fly over to Iraq or Syria and handcuff the bad guys and read them their rights? Don’t forget the “freeze police!” command. That ought to do it.
I think we are at a real crossroads in our country. We’ve all seen the Religious aspect of our nation trending downward. With this it would seem our humanity is slowly dying. We are fast becoming more concerned about making sure that our rights are not infringed or we are not offended or offending anyone else to the point that no one shows concern for much of anything else. I’m not saying rights are not important and, in fact, our basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are more important than ever. The PURSUIT of happiness. No one, unfortunately has the right to happiness. Happiness is a distinct result of actions taken. The problem as I see it is everyone thinks we have a right to anything we claim we have a right to and therefore we have a right to be wealthy on the back of someone who has attained wealth. A right. How about we have a right to be able to pursue the same things in life to achieve that result?
Back to the original topic. Do we have a right to life? I’m not talking about the polarizing and emotion filled topic of abortion. I am asking the simple question…do we have a right to life? Many are probably saying yes and to those I then ask do we have a right to death? Do we have a RIGHT to death? Death is an outcome of events that we sometimes cause and sometimes do not cause. Life is the same but we don’t think of the two as the same. I would submit that life is a miracle. I know the science behind it but life is still a miracle. The merging of the egg and the sperm in just the right way can cause life. It is not a right….it is a miracle. So the Declaration of Independence says we have an unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Hard to argue with that document but if we looked at it in its simplest terms abortion is infringing on the fetus’ right to life. I said I wasn’t going down that path and I will stop it there.
I guess that with all of the turmoil in the world right now and the uncertainty of just where it is leading makes me think about how I am so blessed to be able to enjoy my life and my pursuit of at least those three things previously mentioned. I look at things in that way and then I watch our government. They are more concerned about the power levied on them in the political arena and therefore they base all of their decisions always looking at how it will either increase or decrease their power over the people. Politics has become all about power and influence. The human element has been lost. Just some of my thoughts this morning. My opinions and although I still have a right to express them….you have a right to ignore, disagree or agree and move on about your business. I just hope that some day in the not too distant future our politicians become humans again and look not only at how their behaviors are affecting other humans but I hope they take a good long look in the mirror and realize politics and humanity should always be together.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Honesty...Am I Out of Style?
Remember when a man’s word was his bond? Remember when a verbal contract was as binding a contract as you needed? Have those days passed us by. I’m not sure how it got to where it is in all areas of society but now even written contracts are not worth the paper they are printed on.
I am still a bit backwards and still have faith that when someone tells me they are going to do something I trust that they will. When I am told it will be done today I believe it even when everyone around me tells me I should have it in writing. Perhaps I should wake up and become cynical but it seems to go against everything in my being. I still trust people.
Webster tells me the definition of trust is as follows:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
There’s that evil word surfacing again: honest. So why do I take people to be honest at their most basic level? Maybe it’s because I try to be honest and up front with people and expect no less from others. Am I naive? Perhaps, but I just can’t envision living in a world where people distrust everyone. I guess I wouldn’t make a very good lawyer and especially not a good politician. I can live with that.
You may ask why I am on this topic. Well, lately we had some work done at our house. The contract I signed was pretty basic and I accepted it on good faith. The company we dealt with seemed honest enough and the fella we sat down and talked with seemed on the up and up. Now to be fair, they got the work done, albeit a week or so late (weather caused the delay) but it’s these little details like the warranty and follow up that seem difficult to get done even after getting “promises” to stop by and wrap things up. The money’s gone but we are still waiting for the final wrap up. So once again I am told one thing several times and it ends up being quite different.
It all seems to come back to being honest. In my profession it is expected that I will be honest with my customers even when honest is a difficult discussion. The great thing about being honest though is you don’t need a good memory. (And I don’t have one) So I will continue to try and be honest with people even when it is the hard path. People can call me naive and a pawn but I know that I will always feel better about myself if I take the path that holds the truth. If everyone had this philosophy imagine how much we could get done and how much better life would be……
I am still a bit backwards and still have faith that when someone tells me they are going to do something I trust that they will. When I am told it will be done today I believe it even when everyone around me tells me I should have it in writing. Perhaps I should wake up and become cynical but it seems to go against everything in my being. I still trust people.
Webster tells me the definition of trust is as follows:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
There’s that evil word surfacing again: honest. So why do I take people to be honest at their most basic level? Maybe it’s because I try to be honest and up front with people and expect no less from others. Am I naive? Perhaps, but I just can’t envision living in a world where people distrust everyone. I guess I wouldn’t make a very good lawyer and especially not a good politician. I can live with that.
You may ask why I am on this topic. Well, lately we had some work done at our house. The contract I signed was pretty basic and I accepted it on good faith. The company we dealt with seemed honest enough and the fella we sat down and talked with seemed on the up and up. Now to be fair, they got the work done, albeit a week or so late (weather caused the delay) but it’s these little details like the warranty and follow up that seem difficult to get done even after getting “promises” to stop by and wrap things up. The money’s gone but we are still waiting for the final wrap up. So once again I am told one thing several times and it ends up being quite different.
It all seems to come back to being honest. In my profession it is expected that I will be honest with my customers even when honest is a difficult discussion. The great thing about being honest though is you don’t need a good memory. (And I don’t have one) So I will continue to try and be honest with people even when it is the hard path. People can call me naive and a pawn but I know that I will always feel better about myself if I take the path that holds the truth. If everyone had this philosophy imagine how much we could get done and how much better life would be……
Monday, August 4, 2014
A Political Rant of Sorts....(But Not All Politics)
Once in a while I just have to express some opinions about political issues. I try to avoid them too often because I know there are so many people that just don’t care about anything but their own little world but occasionally I must purge the pressure that builds up inside me of a political nature. By the way, this will not be a Republican vs Democrat debate. You’ve been warned so you can close this before you listen to my opinions.
What has happened to this country of ours? How did we become a nation of takers? For so many years, in my mind, what made our country special was when we saw a task in front of us; we rolled up our sleeves and worked at solving the problem. We didn’t just look at how an issue affected us but how it affected the whole country. The American spirit has slowly transformed into an entitlist mentality. How did this happen? I think that as a whole we have become a large experiment of Pavlov. Many American’s see politicians and they begin to salivate about entitlements even before a single word comes out of those politician’s mouths. In fact, forget about anything remotely important about any problems in this country as long as you keep sending those checks. It is both sad and embarrassing that we have come to this.
You can also look around at how totally dependent we have become on the speed of technology that has made us look at everything with the same expectation of speed. Our highways are now fraught with danger. Not just speeders but people so self-involved that the safety and consideration of others is a thing of the past. People did actually one time think about the other people around them and sometimes even before themselves. Even look at charitable giving. It used to be all about helping the charities. Now it is about making sure everyone is aware of the giving of the particular individual as to show a perception of how great a person is measured. In other words many people now give so that they can proclaim it loudly and feel even more self-important. The people that impress me most are the ones who just give, don’t advertise it, and go about their business. Charity should never be about “keeping up with the Jones”.
Many people have restated the phrase “those who forget history are doomed to repeat it” but it seems to be a more accurate statement with each passing year. We are a culture of cycles. It seems that each facet of our society, be it religious, political or economic, rides a kind of pendulum. It swings one way and religion becomes extremely important…..it swings the other way to where religion is of little importance and this pertains to those other areas I mention. It never seems to be a level and consistent motion but one of constant change. What drives the changes can go back to our very nature of never seemingly being satisfied with anything in our lives. We have definitely lost the stop and smell the roses kind of people we were when I was a child. Few people actually do smell the roses anymore and that is very sad.
Finally, I thought I would once again talk about our Federal government. Our government is corrupt right up to the very top and it is driven by power, greed and money. Our Congress is now almost solely devoted and motivated by the next election. These politicians used to actually care about what goes on in the country. Now their decisions are made by how their constituents will vote. Our moral compass is no longer in play and the rights of the individual are now trumped by how the collective will vote and unfortunately the majority of the collective now vote by sound bites and media misinformation. What’s in it for me is now the driving force.
I guess I am in a melancholy mood this morning. I try to stay positive but in the face of what I see as a world of selfish takers it becomes more and more difficult. There is one thing I can remain positive about and that is I can control how I act and by what motivates me and by doing what I think is right and I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I am doing my very best. If everyone can do this….I guess we will be OK in the end. Your thoughts?
What has happened to this country of ours? How did we become a nation of takers? For so many years, in my mind, what made our country special was when we saw a task in front of us; we rolled up our sleeves and worked at solving the problem. We didn’t just look at how an issue affected us but how it affected the whole country. The American spirit has slowly transformed into an entitlist mentality. How did this happen? I think that as a whole we have become a large experiment of Pavlov. Many American’s see politicians and they begin to salivate about entitlements even before a single word comes out of those politician’s mouths. In fact, forget about anything remotely important about any problems in this country as long as you keep sending those checks. It is both sad and embarrassing that we have come to this.
You can also look around at how totally dependent we have become on the speed of technology that has made us look at everything with the same expectation of speed. Our highways are now fraught with danger. Not just speeders but people so self-involved that the safety and consideration of others is a thing of the past. People did actually one time think about the other people around them and sometimes even before themselves. Even look at charitable giving. It used to be all about helping the charities. Now it is about making sure everyone is aware of the giving of the particular individual as to show a perception of how great a person is measured. In other words many people now give so that they can proclaim it loudly and feel even more self-important. The people that impress me most are the ones who just give, don’t advertise it, and go about their business. Charity should never be about “keeping up with the Jones”.
Many people have restated the phrase “those who forget history are doomed to repeat it” but it seems to be a more accurate statement with each passing year. We are a culture of cycles. It seems that each facet of our society, be it religious, political or economic, rides a kind of pendulum. It swings one way and religion becomes extremely important…..it swings the other way to where religion is of little importance and this pertains to those other areas I mention. It never seems to be a level and consistent motion but one of constant change. What drives the changes can go back to our very nature of never seemingly being satisfied with anything in our lives. We have definitely lost the stop and smell the roses kind of people we were when I was a child. Few people actually do smell the roses anymore and that is very sad.
Finally, I thought I would once again talk about our Federal government. Our government is corrupt right up to the very top and it is driven by power, greed and money. Our Congress is now almost solely devoted and motivated by the next election. These politicians used to actually care about what goes on in the country. Now their decisions are made by how their constituents will vote. Our moral compass is no longer in play and the rights of the individual are now trumped by how the collective will vote and unfortunately the majority of the collective now vote by sound bites and media misinformation. What’s in it for me is now the driving force.
I guess I am in a melancholy mood this morning. I try to stay positive but in the face of what I see as a world of selfish takers it becomes more and more difficult. There is one thing I can remain positive about and that is I can control how I act and by what motivates me and by doing what I think is right and I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I am doing my very best. If everyone can do this….I guess we will be OK in the end. Your thoughts?
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Do You "Know" What You Have?
Do you know what you have? Seem like a strange question? Think about it for a bit.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.
Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.
Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.
Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.
Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.
If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.
Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!
You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.
Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.
Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.
Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.
Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.
If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.
Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!
You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Friends (Probably Not What You Think)
How many friends do you have? OK then, how many good friends do you have? OK then how many “close” friends do you have? Recent events have caused me to ponder these questions. Facebook friends are great and the prayer chain that is created in times of crisis is very comforting and supportive but what about when you are not in crisis and just want a friend to sit and talk with?
I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.
I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.
I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.
Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.
I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.
I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.
I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.
Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Arm tied Behind My Back.....
So I am compelled to write a little tonight even though I am basically exhausted by the day’s events. If any men out there are married to their soul mate they will understand this. My wife had a procedure today at the hospital that was supposed to be outpatient surgery and long story short, she will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. She’s in good hands right? No big deal right? Right and wrong.
This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.
So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.
I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.
That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.
This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.
So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.
I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.
That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.
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