Dear Dad,
Well it’s now coming up on my second Christmas without you. I’ve been told by many that with each passing year it will get easier to deal with my loss. While in my head I know this to be true my heart just can’t sign on to that theory….not just yet.
I think you really did enjoy this time of year. I remember the gatherings at Christmas Eve. I even remember waking you up on Christmas morning..sometimes overtly and sometimes covertly. I remember one year getting a cassette recorder for Christmas. I remember taping you snoring and also remember you not really appreciating the humor. Oh well I was just a mischievous kid trying to live up to his mischievous Dad.
You were always about family especially this time of year. I really miss that. I really missed you being the focal point. I would give anything to have just one more Christmas with you. I would really give anything to even get one more handshake from my hero of heroes. These letters are always so difficult to write because while I know where your soul is now….I have no address to send this. While I know you are where we all strive to be I still have difficulty writing through the tears to express that thought.
You did not teach me to express my emotions as I even do now. You were brought up in a time and place where showing those emotions was almost considered a sign of weakness. I think living and having the benefit of a sensitive soul mate has helped me develop a sort of emotional maturity. I am both proud and in awe of my wife and I know you are too. There are few people on this planet that have inspired me as much as Linda. I am blessed to have her to lean on and to be leaned on.
So Dad…..know that I am doing fine. You gave me a strong sense of self responsibility and I think a strong moral compass to guide me through some pretty large challenges. I oftentimes look at a particular situation or challenge and consider how you would handle it. So although I say this a lot, it can never be said enough….I thank God for every day we had together. I thank him for the gift of a patient and caring father. I thank him for a man of both a generous heart and a giving soul.
While I may not have you to talk to in the flesh I am so blessed to have you to speak to and to have had you as a father. You may not be by my side any longer but you will always be an indelible and unmovable part of my spirit. Merry Christmas Dad…..and I love you.
