Do You "Know" What You Have?

Do you know what you have? Seem like a strange question? Think about it for a bit.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.

Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.

Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.

Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.

Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.

If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.

Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!

You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.

Friends (Probably Not What You Think)

How many friends do you have? OK then, how many good friends do you have? OK then how many “close” friends do you have? Recent events have caused me to ponder these questions. Facebook friends are great and the prayer chain that is created in times of crisis is very comforting and supportive but what about when you are not in crisis and just want a friend to sit and talk with?

I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.

I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.

I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.

Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.

Arm tied Behind My Back.....

So I am compelled to write a little tonight even though I am basically exhausted by the day’s events. If any men out there are married to their soul mate they will understand this. My wife had a procedure today at the hospital that was supposed to be outpatient surgery and long story short, she will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. She’s in good hands right? No big deal right? Right and wrong.

This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.

So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.

I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.

That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.