I’ve not had a Christmas quite like this one. I always seem to feel the spiritual aspects of Christmas but lately seem so overwhelmed by missing my Dad that I can’t seem to filter it out. I do, in fact, feel guilty for that. I know I shouldn’t because it is human nature to have the feelings I have; but I do. I know in my heart what this season represents. I know what is important to remember about this Advent period.
This is the day my Dad really relished. For years he would have a Christmas party that everyone looked forward to. As much as he tended to not be a person who wore his emotions on his sleeve he really loved Christmas. I think he loved it most because he was a man that really enjoyed studying other people’s reactions to just about everything. He was a true professional reaction fisherman. There was many a time I could see him throw out the hook to get someone to bite and invariably someone would swallow the hook. (Usually my brother Larry) It was a beautiful thing to watch. God I miss that. I may have gotten that quality from him as I often find myself doing the same thing.
Christmas should be a time of joy and hope and yet I can’t seem to shake the pain of his loss. I know…I know…I hear you all…this is natural…give it time….I do understand that but understanding and being able to do it are completely different.
I do know that Christ’s love will overcome my feelings of pain. I know my precious memories will ultimately win the day. I just need to get past this and I will. I pray for all of you that you also can get past any losses you may have experienced so that instead you are overcome with gratitude for what you have. Please pray for me as well.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
My Christmas Wish
So Christmas is just around the corner and I thought I would write just a little to project a few thoughts and emotions.
The first thing that is ever most in my thoughts is my first Christmas without my Dad. Even though we were many miles apart for the last few Christmases we were never far apart emotionally. Now I find myself even more connected emotionally and that can be both good and challenging. I will just need to focus on the positive and not the loss but that’s sometimes easier said than done.
I am beginning to learn the real secret of surviving the holidays and it is, for me at least, to ignore the commercial side. I used to find myself getting annoyed at all the commercial aspects of this time of year but the last couple I find myself focusing primarily on what I feel is important. Those things would be my God, my family and my friends. Gifts, cards and things, while nice, are fleeting. God, family and friends are not. I am blessed to have a terrific family not the least of which is my loving wife. I am the man I am because of her. She puts up with all my church endeavors as well as my many quirks. I have a wonderful daughter, 2 special sons and a great step-son as well as an extended family to be proud of. So I don’t care if Wal-Mart is open until the end of time selling everything under the sun. It will have absolutely no impact on what I have and what is important.
I find myself these days when I am near a Mall (I know not a smart place to be) getting less annoyed at the frenzied, panicking, rude shoppers and actually looking at them as a source of comedic relief. While the crowds sometimes make me look for the nearest exit it is more the physical loss of oxygen than any other reason.
So lighten up everyone. I know, I say that but it won’t change anyone who doesn’t have the will to change. My one wish for everyone is that this season makes you refocus on the important things. Enjoy the season for what it’s worth but don’t place too much stock on the “things” associated with it….they will be gone long before the people that get them. Merry Christmas all…and a blessed 2011!
The first thing that is ever most in my thoughts is my first Christmas without my Dad. Even though we were many miles apart for the last few Christmases we were never far apart emotionally. Now I find myself even more connected emotionally and that can be both good and challenging. I will just need to focus on the positive and not the loss but that’s sometimes easier said than done.
I am beginning to learn the real secret of surviving the holidays and it is, for me at least, to ignore the commercial side. I used to find myself getting annoyed at all the commercial aspects of this time of year but the last couple I find myself focusing primarily on what I feel is important. Those things would be my God, my family and my friends. Gifts, cards and things, while nice, are fleeting. God, family and friends are not. I am blessed to have a terrific family not the least of which is my loving wife. I am the man I am because of her. She puts up with all my church endeavors as well as my many quirks. I have a wonderful daughter, 2 special sons and a great step-son as well as an extended family to be proud of. So I don’t care if Wal-Mart is open until the end of time selling everything under the sun. It will have absolutely no impact on what I have and what is important.
I find myself these days when I am near a Mall (I know not a smart place to be) getting less annoyed at the frenzied, panicking, rude shoppers and actually looking at them as a source of comedic relief. While the crowds sometimes make me look for the nearest exit it is more the physical loss of oxygen than any other reason.
So lighten up everyone. I know, I say that but it won’t change anyone who doesn’t have the will to change. My one wish for everyone is that this season makes you refocus on the important things. Enjoy the season for what it’s worth but don’t place too much stock on the “things” associated with it….they will be gone long before the people that get them. Merry Christmas all…and a blessed 2011!
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