Friday, December 24, 2010

Still fighting the loss.....

I’ve not had a Christmas quite like this one. I always seem to feel the spiritual aspects of Christmas but lately seem so overwhelmed by missing my Dad that I can’t seem to filter it out. I do, in fact, feel guilty for that. I know I shouldn’t because it is human nature to have the feelings I have; but I do. I know in my heart what this season represents. I know what is important to remember about this Advent period.

This is the day my Dad really relished. For years he would have a Christmas party that everyone looked forward to. As much as he tended to not be a person who wore his emotions on his sleeve he really loved Christmas. I think he loved it most because he was a man that really enjoyed studying other people’s reactions to just about everything. He was a true professional reaction fisherman. There was many a time I could see him throw out the hook to get someone to bite and invariably someone would swallow the hook. (Usually my brother Larry) It was a beautiful thing to watch. God I miss that. I may have gotten that quality from him as I often find myself doing the same thing.

Christmas should be a time of joy and hope and yet I can’t seem to shake the pain of his loss. I know…I know…I hear you all…this is natural…give it time….I do understand that but understanding and being able to do it are completely different.

I do know that Christ’s love will overcome my feelings of pain. I know my precious memories will ultimately win the day. I just need to get past this and I will. I pray for all of you that you also can get past any losses you may have experienced so that instead you are overcome with gratitude for what you have. Please pray for me as well.

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