The Journey Continues......

Life can be filled with so many twists and turns it sometimes is a challenging ride to stay on. Through my years on the planet I have been reminded of this many times. I personally have had quite a few challenges this year. The passing of my Dad still seems to occupy my mind most even though I have other significant challenges to deal with. My wife, God bless her, still reminds me it hasn’t been that long since he passed and I will still have more difficult milestones to get by and while I know this to be true I am still frustrated that I can’t seem to overcome the grip it has on me some days. I still have much to accomplish and the grief seems to really, at times, sidetrack me to the point of not taking care of my priorities.

It may sound as if I am saying I’m lost and can’t find my way but that’s not really the issue. It’s a troubling place to be where you really CAN see the forest for the trees but can’t seem to direct yourself through the forest. So, for now, I muddle on trying to figure my way through this. I keep wanting to call and talk to my Dad….so I do talk to him….but now it’s through a different conduit. I really miss the old method.

I feel a little guilty staying on this topic in my writing but as I said my Dad still dominates my thoughts so I suppose it is natural that he would dominate my writing. My family, as spread out and fractured as it may be, seems to be a ship without a captain now. I guess it is becoming now an armada instead of one ship and the captains all are navigating their own ships. I miss the old captain. He always seemed to know the right passage to steer through. I must take hold of the wheel now and steer my own ship hoping that my old captain taught me well. OK….that is way too many metaphors and if you are wondering I am completely sober and drug free and all of this literary magnificence just seems to flow.

That’s another personality trait my dear Dad imparted upon me…to use humor to diffuse other emotions. Laughter, after all, is much more appealing than tears and tears are just not the Bourey way. (Right Dad?)

So my journey through this continues and as long as you can tolerate it you can ride along with me. If any of you who manage to read this has not lost a parent perhaps it will help you when the time comes. What continues to save me is knowing I have so much more to be thankful for than I do to grieve for. I thank God every day for not what I have lost but for what I have gained. My new favorite quote is life is not about fearing the storms, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. When I do dance…..it will be to the sweet sounds of my favorite trumpeter.

Old Friendships

Do you remember high school? I mean do you really remember? Do you remember those close friendships you had at that point in your life that you felt could never be broken or impaired? I do. One of the things in my life that I regret, and yes I know regrets are a waste of good energy, but I regret this just the same; losing contact with close friends.

Now I realize we all can now use Facebook and other social network sites to catch up. Is that really the same thing? I would submit that it is not even close. I even have who I would consider to be my closest lifelong friend not an hour away and I have fallen woefully short of keeping up with this man. I need to change that. Life does have a way of weaving us on a path that we most likely didn’t plan or anticipate and in many cases our friendships take a beating for that. My life has certainly thrown me my share of curveballs but to be fair some of those curveballs were my own pitches.

We all have our own stories about how we drifted from our early friendships and I would be willing to surmise that every story is different. I had friends in my high school years that I spent so much time with I can not believe we didn’t stay in touch. There are phrases from my past and adventures as well that I could in no way explain to many now who would appreciate or understand. With these friends all I would have to say is “Helllo!!!! Who EEES IT??!!” and we could laugh for hours….ok minutes about it and not have to explain. I have friends who remember ice skating on lakes…tobogganing into trees and the list goes on and on….and yet we have lost touch. I know the old phrase about never being able to go “home” again. I suppose that is a good characterization of our past friendships. They will never be quite the same.

I’m not really sure what has made me ponder this tonight. Perhaps with the passing of my Dad a few months ago I am longing for the past a bit. The pain of my Dad’s passing is still pretty fresh although I am coping better now than I was. Perhaps the transition that has taken place in my family magnifies the transition of many aspects of our lives over time. I’ve never dealt well with transition and I’m afraid this has been no different. Yes I realize everyone goes through this but what is equally true is everyone goes through it their own way and I don’t think there is a right way.

So I am making a pact to get up with my old Grand Way buddy….I hope he reads this and has the same sentiments. Think about one of your closest friends in high school…ok Jim you may not be able to remember so you are exempt….but seriously think about that friend and call them and say hello. Close your Facebook and have a real conversation. Friendships may never be the same….but perhaps if we treat them as we once did they can still be just as rewarding.

Hodgepodge

I haven’t written a lot in a while probably because when I come home from my office the last thing I feel like doing is thinking! But recent events and my propensity for political rants has got me bubbling over.

My first topic is our illegal immigrant policy; or should I say lack thereof? Our President recently stated that our borders are now more secure than they have ever been. Was that some kind of a joke? Are you kidding me? If you think that the 1200 additional National Guard troops will make a dent in this you are living in another time continuum. Of the 1200 troops sent a little over 500 are being delegated to the almost 2000 mile border of Arizona. So that’s one person for every 4 miles…..there you have it. We have the resources to make our borders secure but no one in government has the kiwis to make it so. Might this be that perhaps certain people in our government are looking for some affirmative votes in upcoming elections? What a cynical question to ask; I won’t answer it but I invite you to stay tuned to the amnesty debacle that will be taking place soon in a country near you.

North Carolina is tackling the very controversial bill about making talking on a cell phone illegal in your car. Even my sweet wife says this type of law will really have no impact on the problem. I am certainly not one to invite even more government intrusion in our lives. Still though, I wonder if this falls into that simple category. It is, on the surface, more government intrusion. The issue here though is public safety and from what I see on our state highways, cell phones are an absolute hazard. I watch people every day making wild, nonsensical maneuvers while they are engrossed in some conversation and then they look up at you like you are an idiot. Those people should not only not be allowed to talk on a cell phone in their cars but they should have them taken away permanently. I don’t want our wonderful non-representative government telling me what I can do or cannot do; however, I don’t want Joe Geek plowing head on into me while talking about the usefulness of quotation marks in his excel spreadsheet. So this one is a tough call.

Lastly, this is more an observation than an opinion although with me it’s sometimes difficult to make the distinction. I am just fascinated by watching these economic “experts” give their opinions about our economy. They have all pretty much proven to be as successful as the weatherman predicting our hurricane season. It’s as if they are all using completely different sets of information to arrive at our doom and gloom. It would appear that forecasting the economy is not at all a science but an art. I guess my comment here is their should be a disclaimer before any of those pointy headed experts speak of the economy stating that this is merely an interpretation based on fictional facts.

I don’t know when my next literary compost pile will appear. Sometimes I think I just write these to myself for my own pleasure. I do find that when I begin to write I can’t type as fast as my brain can think and often I find myself frustrated that my memory is so short that by the time I’ve written a thought I forget the thought that just popped in my circuitry that seemed more relevant. I know; it sounds like a personal problem. The good thing about a blog is you all have the ability and right to just hit the X…..