The Journey Continues......

Life can be filled with so many twists and turns it sometimes is a challenging ride to stay on. Through my years on the planet I have been reminded of this many times. I personally have had quite a few challenges this year. The passing of my Dad still seems to occupy my mind most even though I have other significant challenges to deal with. My wife, God bless her, still reminds me it hasn’t been that long since he passed and I will still have more difficult milestones to get by and while I know this to be true I am still frustrated that I can’t seem to overcome the grip it has on me some days. I still have much to accomplish and the grief seems to really, at times, sidetrack me to the point of not taking care of my priorities.

It may sound as if I am saying I’m lost and can’t find my way but that’s not really the issue. It’s a troubling place to be where you really CAN see the forest for the trees but can’t seem to direct yourself through the forest. So, for now, I muddle on trying to figure my way through this. I keep wanting to call and talk to my Dad….so I do talk to him….but now it’s through a different conduit. I really miss the old method.

I feel a little guilty staying on this topic in my writing but as I said my Dad still dominates my thoughts so I suppose it is natural that he would dominate my writing. My family, as spread out and fractured as it may be, seems to be a ship without a captain now. I guess it is becoming now an armada instead of one ship and the captains all are navigating their own ships. I miss the old captain. He always seemed to know the right passage to steer through. I must take hold of the wheel now and steer my own ship hoping that my old captain taught me well. OK….that is way too many metaphors and if you are wondering I am completely sober and drug free and all of this literary magnificence just seems to flow.

That’s another personality trait my dear Dad imparted upon me…to use humor to diffuse other emotions. Laughter, after all, is much more appealing than tears and tears are just not the Bourey way. (Right Dad?)

So my journey through this continues and as long as you can tolerate it you can ride along with me. If any of you who manage to read this has not lost a parent perhaps it will help you when the time comes. What continues to save me is knowing I have so much more to be thankful for than I do to grieve for. I thank God every day for not what I have lost but for what I have gained. My new favorite quote is life is not about fearing the storms, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. When I do dance…..it will be to the sweet sounds of my favorite trumpeter.