My cousin, Jim, who is the real writer in the family posted a Christmas letter of sorts so I thought I may as well do the same. Also, I am home alone and have time on my hands which anyone who knows me spells trouble.
It is easy to get down in the weeds about how many things are wrong in this country and world and the way so many seem to have lost their humanity so I will try and not go the easy route. Instead I thought I would focus on the good things and the blessings in my life. Complaining seems like such a huge waste of energy, although I am guilty of it now and then, that I thought instead I would give thanks. So here’s my thank you list in no particular order:
1) Thankful for relatively good health in spite of myself.
2) Thankful for my wife and best friend for being by my side through thick and thin.
3) Thankful for my daughter who I grow ever prouder of through the years.
4) Thankful for my Step-Son who although faced with many difficult challenges continues to face them head on.
5) Thankful for my Sons, Jason and Josh, for being the great men they are.
6) Thankful for all of my Grandchildren and hopeful to see them all as much as possible in the future.
7) Thankful for my wife’s sister Stephanie and her husband Jeff for an even more fun and interesting future at the Myrtle and for being the kind and crazy spirits they are.
8) Thankful for all of my extended family (and you know who you are) because when you strip all of the nonsense away from this crazy world your family is what matters.
9) Thankful for a roof over my head and food on my plate which is more fortunate than many.
10) Thankful to my Church and the family that comes along with it. (and you know who you are)
11) Thankful for my Priest and friend Fr. James for always being there for me no matter how I’ve screwed up.
12) Thankful that I have the ability and resources to write and distribute this letter to so many…something not that long ago would have been a monumental task.
13) Thankful that my Linda, when diagnosed with cancer a little over 7 years ago said ya…..right…bring it on! She is an amazing spirit and inspiration to me every day.
14) Thankful for this beautiful country that provides us with such magnificent splendor that many take for granted, be it the beaches mountains and everything in between.
15) Thankful for all that have left this world but taught me so much about life, love, challenges and how to laugh at them all as well as myself.
16) And finally……thankful to an all loving God who made 1-15 possible.
There are many more things to be thankful for but these came to my mind and with my mind I am much better off getting them out while they are there. I am also thankful to you who read this because you obviously care in some way about knowing me better.
I wish you all a merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah as well as a prosperous and fulfilling future!
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Mindless Ramblings
So it’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything. Dealing with family and personal issues that have pretty much consumed my time. A lot has happened in this crazy world since I last wrote. I’ve tried to stay below the radar because some of my views might not be completely popular so better sometimes to keep things bottled in this head of mine. It’s a change I’ve tried to make. If I am asked my opinion I gladly will share but otherwise I am trying to remain somewhat un-political.
One trend I am seeing is this tendency to belittle or make fun of certain Walmart shoppers. While they seem to bring it upon themselves in many cases, for a reason I am uncertain of, it is making me increasingly uncomfortable. It is almost a kind of sport for some and that’s fine but I have a hard time with it lately so I steer clear, as much as possible, in engaging in the behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone who finds it entertaining, I just choose not to get involved.
Another thing I am realizing over these past few years is just how families are changing. Large families that stay connected seem to be an endangered species. I think it’s a result of how spread out our society has become. I also think that with the dawn of social media we lean much more heavily on electronic communication and much less on face to face visits. That’s sad, in my opinion. One of my real joys of childhood was to go to my Grandmother’s house on Sundays, sometimes for dinner, sometimes to just visit and sometimes to steal a few carrots from my Grandfather’s garden. It was a simple joy and it was certainly just taken for granted. I remember how excited I would be when my cousins were visiting. Family was just more connected and closer. I look back now and realize just how good we really had it. Not in terms of money but certainly in terms of family interaction. Texting just doesn’t get it for me and I am a hideous conversationalist on the phone. Will this family dynamic ever change? I can’t see it but I do know I miss it.
I am in a melancholy mood tonight. I have been thinking about all of the people in my life that have left this world for the next and as I start to count them up it becomes a sad event. Friends through church, a wife, all of my parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins…..if I look at the losses one by one it’s much easier than looking at the total but anyway I look, it is not easy. I guess what is becoming more real to me each year is my mortality. Living a good long life has its positives but also one drawback is you see a lot of loved ones leave before you. There is no fix for this, it just is and for some reason this evening it has pushed to the forefront in my mind.
I really try to focus on the blessings I have and how very fortunate I am to have what I do have because there are many not so fortunate but some nights those other thoughts creep in and when they do I must ponder them. I am blessed. I have relatively good health, a roof over my head and a soul mate that completes my dreams with me. Why is there a side of human nature that exists which makes us want more and want to do better? My guess is if there wasn’t that facet to humanity we might have gone extinct many years ago. The problem is it can be taken too far. I don’t begrudge anyone who works their tail off to reap the rewards of that effort. What bothers me though is there are many in that situation that not only take it for granted but do nothing to help the less fortunate and that is really in my eyes a crime against humanity. Yes we want to do well for ourselves and yes we always want to try and do better but somehow we must never forget what got us there and perhaps who helped us to get there.
I really am aimlessly rambling with an occasional lucid thought so if you take anything away from this, it is that everyone, I think anyhow, has some of these thoughts. We may not be able to fix many of the things I’ve mentioned but sometimes just verbalizing them helps us to make sense of this crazy world.
One trend I am seeing is this tendency to belittle or make fun of certain Walmart shoppers. While they seem to bring it upon themselves in many cases, for a reason I am uncertain of, it is making me increasingly uncomfortable. It is almost a kind of sport for some and that’s fine but I have a hard time with it lately so I steer clear, as much as possible, in engaging in the behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone who finds it entertaining, I just choose not to get involved.
Another thing I am realizing over these past few years is just how families are changing. Large families that stay connected seem to be an endangered species. I think it’s a result of how spread out our society has become. I also think that with the dawn of social media we lean much more heavily on electronic communication and much less on face to face visits. That’s sad, in my opinion. One of my real joys of childhood was to go to my Grandmother’s house on Sundays, sometimes for dinner, sometimes to just visit and sometimes to steal a few carrots from my Grandfather’s garden. It was a simple joy and it was certainly just taken for granted. I remember how excited I would be when my cousins were visiting. Family was just more connected and closer. I look back now and realize just how good we really had it. Not in terms of money but certainly in terms of family interaction. Texting just doesn’t get it for me and I am a hideous conversationalist on the phone. Will this family dynamic ever change? I can’t see it but I do know I miss it.
I am in a melancholy mood tonight. I have been thinking about all of the people in my life that have left this world for the next and as I start to count them up it becomes a sad event. Friends through church, a wife, all of my parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins…..if I look at the losses one by one it’s much easier than looking at the total but anyway I look, it is not easy. I guess what is becoming more real to me each year is my mortality. Living a good long life has its positives but also one drawback is you see a lot of loved ones leave before you. There is no fix for this, it just is and for some reason this evening it has pushed to the forefront in my mind.
I really try to focus on the blessings I have and how very fortunate I am to have what I do have because there are many not so fortunate but some nights those other thoughts creep in and when they do I must ponder them. I am blessed. I have relatively good health, a roof over my head and a soul mate that completes my dreams with me. Why is there a side of human nature that exists which makes us want more and want to do better? My guess is if there wasn’t that facet to humanity we might have gone extinct many years ago. The problem is it can be taken too far. I don’t begrudge anyone who works their tail off to reap the rewards of that effort. What bothers me though is there are many in that situation that not only take it for granted but do nothing to help the less fortunate and that is really in my eyes a crime against humanity. Yes we want to do well for ourselves and yes we always want to try and do better but somehow we must never forget what got us there and perhaps who helped us to get there.
I really am aimlessly rambling with an occasional lucid thought so if you take anything away from this, it is that everyone, I think anyhow, has some of these thoughts. We may not be able to fix many of the things I’ve mentioned but sometimes just verbalizing them helps us to make sense of this crazy world.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Politics and Humanity
Has politics outrun humanity? There was a time in a not too distant galaxy where the two actually worked together. Where you couldn’t really have one without considering the other. Is this a thing of the past? I hope not but with the trend of recent events it would seem so.
How do we take a beheading and almost forget the human tragedy side and only look at it through a political prism? Perhaps it’s only our less than esteemed politicians doing this because everyone I talk to is sickened by it and wants our government to do something and that is Liberals, Conservatives, Libertarians, Democrats and Republicans. So at the basic human level I think most want some sort of a response other than we are launching a “criminal investigation”. Come on! Is NYPD going to just fly over to Iraq or Syria and handcuff the bad guys and read them their rights? Don’t forget the “freeze police!” command. That ought to do it.
I think we are at a real crossroads in our country. We’ve all seen the Religious aspect of our nation trending downward. With this it would seem our humanity is slowly dying. We are fast becoming more concerned about making sure that our rights are not infringed or we are not offended or offending anyone else to the point that no one shows concern for much of anything else. I’m not saying rights are not important and, in fact, our basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are more important than ever. The PURSUIT of happiness. No one, unfortunately has the right to happiness. Happiness is a distinct result of actions taken. The problem as I see it is everyone thinks we have a right to anything we claim we have a right to and therefore we have a right to be wealthy on the back of someone who has attained wealth. A right. How about we have a right to be able to pursue the same things in life to achieve that result?
Back to the original topic. Do we have a right to life? I’m not talking about the polarizing and emotion filled topic of abortion. I am asking the simple question…do we have a right to life? Many are probably saying yes and to those I then ask do we have a right to death? Do we have a RIGHT to death? Death is an outcome of events that we sometimes cause and sometimes do not cause. Life is the same but we don’t think of the two as the same. I would submit that life is a miracle. I know the science behind it but life is still a miracle. The merging of the egg and the sperm in just the right way can cause life. It is not a right….it is a miracle. So the Declaration of Independence says we have an unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Hard to argue with that document but if we looked at it in its simplest terms abortion is infringing on the fetus’ right to life. I said I wasn’t going down that path and I will stop it there.
I guess that with all of the turmoil in the world right now and the uncertainty of just where it is leading makes me think about how I am so blessed to be able to enjoy my life and my pursuit of at least those three things previously mentioned. I look at things in that way and then I watch our government. They are more concerned about the power levied on them in the political arena and therefore they base all of their decisions always looking at how it will either increase or decrease their power over the people. Politics has become all about power and influence. The human element has been lost. Just some of my thoughts this morning. My opinions and although I still have a right to express them….you have a right to ignore, disagree or agree and move on about your business. I just hope that some day in the not too distant future our politicians become humans again and look not only at how their behaviors are affecting other humans but I hope they take a good long look in the mirror and realize politics and humanity should always be together.
How do we take a beheading and almost forget the human tragedy side and only look at it through a political prism? Perhaps it’s only our less than esteemed politicians doing this because everyone I talk to is sickened by it and wants our government to do something and that is Liberals, Conservatives, Libertarians, Democrats and Republicans. So at the basic human level I think most want some sort of a response other than we are launching a “criminal investigation”. Come on! Is NYPD going to just fly over to Iraq or Syria and handcuff the bad guys and read them their rights? Don’t forget the “freeze police!” command. That ought to do it.
I think we are at a real crossroads in our country. We’ve all seen the Religious aspect of our nation trending downward. With this it would seem our humanity is slowly dying. We are fast becoming more concerned about making sure that our rights are not infringed or we are not offended or offending anyone else to the point that no one shows concern for much of anything else. I’m not saying rights are not important and, in fact, our basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are more important than ever. The PURSUIT of happiness. No one, unfortunately has the right to happiness. Happiness is a distinct result of actions taken. The problem as I see it is everyone thinks we have a right to anything we claim we have a right to and therefore we have a right to be wealthy on the back of someone who has attained wealth. A right. How about we have a right to be able to pursue the same things in life to achieve that result?
Back to the original topic. Do we have a right to life? I’m not talking about the polarizing and emotion filled topic of abortion. I am asking the simple question…do we have a right to life? Many are probably saying yes and to those I then ask do we have a right to death? Do we have a RIGHT to death? Death is an outcome of events that we sometimes cause and sometimes do not cause. Life is the same but we don’t think of the two as the same. I would submit that life is a miracle. I know the science behind it but life is still a miracle. The merging of the egg and the sperm in just the right way can cause life. It is not a right….it is a miracle. So the Declaration of Independence says we have an unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Hard to argue with that document but if we looked at it in its simplest terms abortion is infringing on the fetus’ right to life. I said I wasn’t going down that path and I will stop it there.
I guess that with all of the turmoil in the world right now and the uncertainty of just where it is leading makes me think about how I am so blessed to be able to enjoy my life and my pursuit of at least those three things previously mentioned. I look at things in that way and then I watch our government. They are more concerned about the power levied on them in the political arena and therefore they base all of their decisions always looking at how it will either increase or decrease their power over the people. Politics has become all about power and influence. The human element has been lost. Just some of my thoughts this morning. My opinions and although I still have a right to express them….you have a right to ignore, disagree or agree and move on about your business. I just hope that some day in the not too distant future our politicians become humans again and look not only at how their behaviors are affecting other humans but I hope they take a good long look in the mirror and realize politics and humanity should always be together.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Honesty...Am I Out of Style?
Remember when a man’s word was his bond? Remember when a verbal contract was as binding a contract as you needed? Have those days passed us by. I’m not sure how it got to where it is in all areas of society but now even written contracts are not worth the paper they are printed on.
I am still a bit backwards and still have faith that when someone tells me they are going to do something I trust that they will. When I am told it will be done today I believe it even when everyone around me tells me I should have it in writing. Perhaps I should wake up and become cynical but it seems to go against everything in my being. I still trust people.
Webster tells me the definition of trust is as follows:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
There’s that evil word surfacing again: honest. So why do I take people to be honest at their most basic level? Maybe it’s because I try to be honest and up front with people and expect no less from others. Am I naive? Perhaps, but I just can’t envision living in a world where people distrust everyone. I guess I wouldn’t make a very good lawyer and especially not a good politician. I can live with that.
You may ask why I am on this topic. Well, lately we had some work done at our house. The contract I signed was pretty basic and I accepted it on good faith. The company we dealt with seemed honest enough and the fella we sat down and talked with seemed on the up and up. Now to be fair, they got the work done, albeit a week or so late (weather caused the delay) but it’s these little details like the warranty and follow up that seem difficult to get done even after getting “promises” to stop by and wrap things up. The money’s gone but we are still waiting for the final wrap up. So once again I am told one thing several times and it ends up being quite different.
It all seems to come back to being honest. In my profession it is expected that I will be honest with my customers even when honest is a difficult discussion. The great thing about being honest though is you don’t need a good memory. (And I don’t have one) So I will continue to try and be honest with people even when it is the hard path. People can call me naive and a pawn but I know that I will always feel better about myself if I take the path that holds the truth. If everyone had this philosophy imagine how much we could get done and how much better life would be……
I am still a bit backwards and still have faith that when someone tells me they are going to do something I trust that they will. When I am told it will be done today I believe it even when everyone around me tells me I should have it in writing. Perhaps I should wake up and become cynical but it seems to go against everything in my being. I still trust people.
Webster tells me the definition of trust is as follows:
belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
There’s that evil word surfacing again: honest. So why do I take people to be honest at their most basic level? Maybe it’s because I try to be honest and up front with people and expect no less from others. Am I naive? Perhaps, but I just can’t envision living in a world where people distrust everyone. I guess I wouldn’t make a very good lawyer and especially not a good politician. I can live with that.
You may ask why I am on this topic. Well, lately we had some work done at our house. The contract I signed was pretty basic and I accepted it on good faith. The company we dealt with seemed honest enough and the fella we sat down and talked with seemed on the up and up. Now to be fair, they got the work done, albeit a week or so late (weather caused the delay) but it’s these little details like the warranty and follow up that seem difficult to get done even after getting “promises” to stop by and wrap things up. The money’s gone but we are still waiting for the final wrap up. So once again I am told one thing several times and it ends up being quite different.
It all seems to come back to being honest. In my profession it is expected that I will be honest with my customers even when honest is a difficult discussion. The great thing about being honest though is you don’t need a good memory. (And I don’t have one) So I will continue to try and be honest with people even when it is the hard path. People can call me naive and a pawn but I know that I will always feel better about myself if I take the path that holds the truth. If everyone had this philosophy imagine how much we could get done and how much better life would be……
Monday, August 4, 2014
A Political Rant of Sorts....(But Not All Politics)
Once in a while I just have to express some opinions about political issues. I try to avoid them too often because I know there are so many people that just don’t care about anything but their own little world but occasionally I must purge the pressure that builds up inside me of a political nature. By the way, this will not be a Republican vs Democrat debate. You’ve been warned so you can close this before you listen to my opinions.
What has happened to this country of ours? How did we become a nation of takers? For so many years, in my mind, what made our country special was when we saw a task in front of us; we rolled up our sleeves and worked at solving the problem. We didn’t just look at how an issue affected us but how it affected the whole country. The American spirit has slowly transformed into an entitlist mentality. How did this happen? I think that as a whole we have become a large experiment of Pavlov. Many American’s see politicians and they begin to salivate about entitlements even before a single word comes out of those politician’s mouths. In fact, forget about anything remotely important about any problems in this country as long as you keep sending those checks. It is both sad and embarrassing that we have come to this.
You can also look around at how totally dependent we have become on the speed of technology that has made us look at everything with the same expectation of speed. Our highways are now fraught with danger. Not just speeders but people so self-involved that the safety and consideration of others is a thing of the past. People did actually one time think about the other people around them and sometimes even before themselves. Even look at charitable giving. It used to be all about helping the charities. Now it is about making sure everyone is aware of the giving of the particular individual as to show a perception of how great a person is measured. In other words many people now give so that they can proclaim it loudly and feel even more self-important. The people that impress me most are the ones who just give, don’t advertise it, and go about their business. Charity should never be about “keeping up with the Jones”.
Many people have restated the phrase “those who forget history are doomed to repeat it” but it seems to be a more accurate statement with each passing year. We are a culture of cycles. It seems that each facet of our society, be it religious, political or economic, rides a kind of pendulum. It swings one way and religion becomes extremely important…..it swings the other way to where religion is of little importance and this pertains to those other areas I mention. It never seems to be a level and consistent motion but one of constant change. What drives the changes can go back to our very nature of never seemingly being satisfied with anything in our lives. We have definitely lost the stop and smell the roses kind of people we were when I was a child. Few people actually do smell the roses anymore and that is very sad.
Finally, I thought I would once again talk about our Federal government. Our government is corrupt right up to the very top and it is driven by power, greed and money. Our Congress is now almost solely devoted and motivated by the next election. These politicians used to actually care about what goes on in the country. Now their decisions are made by how their constituents will vote. Our moral compass is no longer in play and the rights of the individual are now trumped by how the collective will vote and unfortunately the majority of the collective now vote by sound bites and media misinformation. What’s in it for me is now the driving force.
I guess I am in a melancholy mood this morning. I try to stay positive but in the face of what I see as a world of selfish takers it becomes more and more difficult. There is one thing I can remain positive about and that is I can control how I act and by what motivates me and by doing what I think is right and I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I am doing my very best. If everyone can do this….I guess we will be OK in the end. Your thoughts?
What has happened to this country of ours? How did we become a nation of takers? For so many years, in my mind, what made our country special was when we saw a task in front of us; we rolled up our sleeves and worked at solving the problem. We didn’t just look at how an issue affected us but how it affected the whole country. The American spirit has slowly transformed into an entitlist mentality. How did this happen? I think that as a whole we have become a large experiment of Pavlov. Many American’s see politicians and they begin to salivate about entitlements even before a single word comes out of those politician’s mouths. In fact, forget about anything remotely important about any problems in this country as long as you keep sending those checks. It is both sad and embarrassing that we have come to this.
You can also look around at how totally dependent we have become on the speed of technology that has made us look at everything with the same expectation of speed. Our highways are now fraught with danger. Not just speeders but people so self-involved that the safety and consideration of others is a thing of the past. People did actually one time think about the other people around them and sometimes even before themselves. Even look at charitable giving. It used to be all about helping the charities. Now it is about making sure everyone is aware of the giving of the particular individual as to show a perception of how great a person is measured. In other words many people now give so that they can proclaim it loudly and feel even more self-important. The people that impress me most are the ones who just give, don’t advertise it, and go about their business. Charity should never be about “keeping up with the Jones”.
Many people have restated the phrase “those who forget history are doomed to repeat it” but it seems to be a more accurate statement with each passing year. We are a culture of cycles. It seems that each facet of our society, be it religious, political or economic, rides a kind of pendulum. It swings one way and religion becomes extremely important…..it swings the other way to where religion is of little importance and this pertains to those other areas I mention. It never seems to be a level and consistent motion but one of constant change. What drives the changes can go back to our very nature of never seemingly being satisfied with anything in our lives. We have definitely lost the stop and smell the roses kind of people we were when I was a child. Few people actually do smell the roses anymore and that is very sad.
Finally, I thought I would once again talk about our Federal government. Our government is corrupt right up to the very top and it is driven by power, greed and money. Our Congress is now almost solely devoted and motivated by the next election. These politicians used to actually care about what goes on in the country. Now their decisions are made by how their constituents will vote. Our moral compass is no longer in play and the rights of the individual are now trumped by how the collective will vote and unfortunately the majority of the collective now vote by sound bites and media misinformation. What’s in it for me is now the driving force.
I guess I am in a melancholy mood this morning. I try to stay positive but in the face of what I see as a world of selfish takers it becomes more and more difficult. There is one thing I can remain positive about and that is I can control how I act and by what motivates me and by doing what I think is right and I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I am doing my very best. If everyone can do this….I guess we will be OK in the end. Your thoughts?
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Do You "Know" What You Have?
Do you know what you have? Seem like a strange question? Think about it for a bit.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.
Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.
Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.
Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.
Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.
If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.
Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!
You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.
Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.
Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.
Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.
Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.
If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.
Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!
You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Friends (Probably Not What You Think)
How many friends do you have? OK then, how many good friends do you have? OK then how many “close” friends do you have? Recent events have caused me to ponder these questions. Facebook friends are great and the prayer chain that is created in times of crisis is very comforting and supportive but what about when you are not in crisis and just want a friend to sit and talk with?
I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.
I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.
I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.
Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.
I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.
I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.
I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.
Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Arm tied Behind My Back.....
So I am compelled to write a little tonight even though I am basically exhausted by the day’s events. If any men out there are married to their soul mate they will understand this. My wife had a procedure today at the hospital that was supposed to be outpatient surgery and long story short, she will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. She’s in good hands right? No big deal right? Right and wrong.
This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.
So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.
I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.
That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.
This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.
So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.
I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.
That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Pipe dreams and Other Thoughts
Are we more important than we think we are? I’ve wondered that from time to time. Then it occurs to me that we should really be more concerned about how we are important to others. I don’t mean just in the sense of responsibility but just mattering to others. Do we just wake up one morning and say “I think I am going to start to matter to others.” I think not. I hope not. The way we gain importance is through how we make a difference in other people’s lives. It’s about the effort we make to actually affect others in a positive way. It can start by something as simple as holding a door open for someone.
Why should we care? I’m sure that many people these days really look at how they are viewed instead of actually affecting the view. The other point to acknowledge is if we are trying to affect the view in only superficial ways we will only look as shallow as those attempts.
You see, I think that living your life for others is the supreme way to really and truly make a difference. Many people in this day and age live life only for themselves. It is known as what’s in it for me rather than how can I make a difference for them. You see it every day. Go to a supermarket and watch how people are on self-missions and God help anyone who breaks their mission’s rhythm. You can ride on any road and see how so many people seem to be ready to beep their horn at anyone who breaks their stride. Remember the old saying, patience is a virtue? I submit that is a mostly lost virtue. I think that virtue began to decay when the microwave was invented. Push a button and in 2 minutes you have a complete meal. Now it is an expectation that we push a button and instantly get what we want. No more need for patience.
I talked about this with my dear sweet wife the other day and said imagine if everyone lost their cell phone reception for a day. The world would go into complete turmoil. Nothing would really change in that day but the perception of being disconnected from an over-connected world would drive deep and traumatic results. Perhaps it would also make everyone stop and look at each other if for just a day and perhaps even TALK to each other. What a hideous time that would be right?
How about no electricity for a day? Now, of course, the obvious need for electricity is with health care and vital services but think how paralyzed we are when power goes out for just 20 or 30 minutes?
My point in all of these mind numbing thoughts is we are a product of screaming fast and ever changing technology. Technology has come so far in such a short period of time that humanity and the way we interact has been forever changed. The majority of anyone younger than me could never imagine a world without a cell phone, microwave, computer or GPS. I grew up without all of those things and seem to have done OK. (Opinions may differ) So I submit instead of having an Earth Day or some other “green initiative” we should have a technology free day. Perhaps look at a flower or the ocean or listen to the wind blowing through the trees or just sit and talk to someone instead of TEXTING. It is a pipe dream but pipe dreams are always where dreams start so that’s my pipe dream.
Why should we care? I’m sure that many people these days really look at how they are viewed instead of actually affecting the view. The other point to acknowledge is if we are trying to affect the view in only superficial ways we will only look as shallow as those attempts.
You see, I think that living your life for others is the supreme way to really and truly make a difference. Many people in this day and age live life only for themselves. It is known as what’s in it for me rather than how can I make a difference for them. You see it every day. Go to a supermarket and watch how people are on self-missions and God help anyone who breaks their mission’s rhythm. You can ride on any road and see how so many people seem to be ready to beep their horn at anyone who breaks their stride. Remember the old saying, patience is a virtue? I submit that is a mostly lost virtue. I think that virtue began to decay when the microwave was invented. Push a button and in 2 minutes you have a complete meal. Now it is an expectation that we push a button and instantly get what we want. No more need for patience.
I talked about this with my dear sweet wife the other day and said imagine if everyone lost their cell phone reception for a day. The world would go into complete turmoil. Nothing would really change in that day but the perception of being disconnected from an over-connected world would drive deep and traumatic results. Perhaps it would also make everyone stop and look at each other if for just a day and perhaps even TALK to each other. What a hideous time that would be right?
How about no electricity for a day? Now, of course, the obvious need for electricity is with health care and vital services but think how paralyzed we are when power goes out for just 20 or 30 minutes?
My point in all of these mind numbing thoughts is we are a product of screaming fast and ever changing technology. Technology has come so far in such a short period of time that humanity and the way we interact has been forever changed. The majority of anyone younger than me could never imagine a world without a cell phone, microwave, computer or GPS. I grew up without all of those things and seem to have done OK. (Opinions may differ) So I submit instead of having an Earth Day or some other “green initiative” we should have a technology free day. Perhaps look at a flower or the ocean or listen to the wind blowing through the trees or just sit and talk to someone instead of TEXTING. It is a pipe dream but pipe dreams are always where dreams start so that’s my pipe dream.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Just Proud That's All
So often my little blogs are to remember people or things and occasionally I write because I have been inspired. This would be one of those times. Let me tell you about this woman.
This is a woman who goes through life with an open heart. This may seem like a cliché but I assure you it is the absolute truth about this woman. You see, she has worked a number of years in service to the United Methodist Church. Most times she is in the background and frankly, she really prefers it that way. While she works in the background assisting and nurturing each year a new group of aspiring pastors. She does it because she loves what she does and she really loves being connected to so many impressive Christian leaders to come. You may be saying well big deal, what’s so special about that?
This weekend we were privileged, and I mean that in the most sincere way, to sit on our sofa together and watch another annual conference for the UMC. I did more than watch the conference. I watched her. She named every aspiring candidate by their full name before the Bishop would. She could tell me details about these special people that I would venture even some family members would not remember. While this is inspiring alone there is another aspect of this process I watched. I watched Linda’s eyes light up with each ordination and I watched tears of joy flow from her during this process that really put me in awe.
We go to our jobs day by day and push through and once in a while might experience some sort of satisfaction in some way but whenever I watch Linda during one of these conferences I have pangs of envy that while not healthy are real. I will likely never experience what she seems to experience but I am at least the beneficiary of second hand satisfaction.
She may not be there many more conventions but I know that when that chapter ends she will surely miss those intense moments. I know I will. I say this not to brag on her, although I am happy to do that, I say this because I have never been more proud of anyone and more inspired by anyone in my life. She is not a Methodist but you would not know that by the pride she shows in her candidates that she helped through their process. I just wanted to get this out. The really neat thing is long when Linda and I have gone to our glory, there will be a large flock of shepherds in the United Methodist Church that I know for sure will never forget her.
This is a woman who goes through life with an open heart. This may seem like a cliché but I assure you it is the absolute truth about this woman. You see, she has worked a number of years in service to the United Methodist Church. Most times she is in the background and frankly, she really prefers it that way. While she works in the background assisting and nurturing each year a new group of aspiring pastors. She does it because she loves what she does and she really loves being connected to so many impressive Christian leaders to come. You may be saying well big deal, what’s so special about that?
This weekend we were privileged, and I mean that in the most sincere way, to sit on our sofa together and watch another annual conference for the UMC. I did more than watch the conference. I watched her. She named every aspiring candidate by their full name before the Bishop would. She could tell me details about these special people that I would venture even some family members would not remember. While this is inspiring alone there is another aspect of this process I watched. I watched Linda’s eyes light up with each ordination and I watched tears of joy flow from her during this process that really put me in awe.
We go to our jobs day by day and push through and once in a while might experience some sort of satisfaction in some way but whenever I watch Linda during one of these conferences I have pangs of envy that while not healthy are real. I will likely never experience what she seems to experience but I am at least the beneficiary of second hand satisfaction.
She may not be there many more conventions but I know that when that chapter ends she will surely miss those intense moments. I know I will. I say this not to brag on her, although I am happy to do that, I say this because I have never been more proud of anyone and more inspired by anyone in my life. She is not a Methodist but you would not know that by the pride she shows in her candidates that she helped through their process. I just wanted to get this out. The really neat thing is long when Linda and I have gone to our glory, there will be a large flock of shepherds in the United Methodist Church that I know for sure will never forget her.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Some Past Remembrances
I've been thinking lately, and yes I know that’s a problem of itself, about just where we are now as a society and where we have come from in my life. My life is but a speck on humanity but it is mine none the less so just come along for the ride.
I’m trying to remember all of the technological advances in my lifetime and frankly it is too much to just spout off here but I want to at least mention the highlights. When I was a little boy I ran around my old hometown of Lyon Mountain, NY free as a bird. My only stress was to try and determine how many bumble bees I could catch in my jar and lid. I remember strolling through the woods and on paths and picking wild blueberries and strawberries and feasting on them. I remember eating rhubarb right out of the ground. I remember picking and eating apples until my stomach hurt. I remember my one speed bike, yes I said ONE speed….just frittering the hours away riding to Standish or Chateauguay Lake and exploring all nature had to offer and it had a lot. I think as an adult I have a keener appreciation for nature than even children these days do and that is sad.
The reason I digressed to my childhood is it has a real connection to who I am now and it also has a bearing on who kids are now and where they are headed. There were no buttons to push for me as a child….no phones to carry around. I was not instantly connected to everyone on the planet. My world was what was around me and I really think it was a better world because I think people of my generation had a stronger connection to people around them and to the things around them. Children these days can’t interact with nature and are getting more disconnected from even other people. This is what is, in my opinion, heading us down a path that will be hard to change. Now I know not all children are as I describe but I also know it is a disturbingly large number. I almost wish there was a way to hit the reset button on many of our so called technological advances and get back to basics. Let’s face it…we come into this world with nothing and we leave this world with the same thing. No cell phone service in heaven….at least I hope not!
OK, so we have the cell phone now. I remember having a party line phone as a child where three or four houses shared the same line. Can you imagine that? I remember washers that had rollers that you would run your clothes through to get the water out of the clothes. When I was a child our dryer was a line outside. Electric dryers were thought to be this incredible advancement that only well off folks could afford. Everything that was cooked was cooked on a stove. Microwaves were not even something thought about and there were no shortcuts for dinner. Everything took time to make. Even thinking about ceiling fans and how they were not something much thought about. We were just fortunate to have a light in every room. Does anyone other than me remember the first color TV? No I am talking about the FIRST color TV. It was a black and white TV with a color filter you would put over the screen. It was color albeit one color. Does anyone remember the famous test pattern in the morning before the stations would sign on? For some reason I remember an Indian on that test pattern….surely would not be allowed today.
Let’s talk lawn mowers. The first lawn mower in my recollection was the type with the cylindrical cutting carriage that would rotate as you pushed it. It actually did a pretty fabulous job except it actually took EFFORT to do it. Then the motorized versions burst on the scene. The kind that had a sprocket on top you had to wind the rope around and yank. You could be doing a lot of that process if you had a mower that took it’s time starting.
Let’s go back to TV a moment. No cable TV when I was a crumb cruncher. We really thought we were living high on the hog (sorry to the PETA people for that reference) when my Dad purchased a revolving outdoor antenna that could be controlled INDOORS without having to walk out in a storm and rotate it. What an advancement. It meant you could improve reception on those three channels you were lucky to get.
Does anyone here reading this right now know what a brook trout tastes like? I used to go out and fish the brooks around Lyon Mountain and I’m telling you those little boogers were tasty. OK I am talking about the fish still Jim.
Thinking about computers and there is really nothing to compare them to in my childhood. It was just not thought about much. Looking up at my printer(s) and thinking about those days when printers didn’t exist. I do remember the old copy machines that smelled all through the halls of school when they would fire up that beastly machine which roared like an airplane when it was in operation. Remember carbon paper and how that was the only alternative for making duplicates of anything? I remember when showers were considered a luxury and bath tubs were it.
There are certainly many more things from our past that make us ponder where we are at now but those are several that come to mind. Feel free to share more!
I’m trying to remember all of the technological advances in my lifetime and frankly it is too much to just spout off here but I want to at least mention the highlights. When I was a little boy I ran around my old hometown of Lyon Mountain, NY free as a bird. My only stress was to try and determine how many bumble bees I could catch in my jar and lid. I remember strolling through the woods and on paths and picking wild blueberries and strawberries and feasting on them. I remember eating rhubarb right out of the ground. I remember picking and eating apples until my stomach hurt. I remember my one speed bike, yes I said ONE speed….just frittering the hours away riding to Standish or Chateauguay Lake and exploring all nature had to offer and it had a lot. I think as an adult I have a keener appreciation for nature than even children these days do and that is sad.
The reason I digressed to my childhood is it has a real connection to who I am now and it also has a bearing on who kids are now and where they are headed. There were no buttons to push for me as a child….no phones to carry around. I was not instantly connected to everyone on the planet. My world was what was around me and I really think it was a better world because I think people of my generation had a stronger connection to people around them and to the things around them. Children these days can’t interact with nature and are getting more disconnected from even other people. This is what is, in my opinion, heading us down a path that will be hard to change. Now I know not all children are as I describe but I also know it is a disturbingly large number. I almost wish there was a way to hit the reset button on many of our so called technological advances and get back to basics. Let’s face it…we come into this world with nothing and we leave this world with the same thing. No cell phone service in heaven….at least I hope not!
OK, so we have the cell phone now. I remember having a party line phone as a child where three or four houses shared the same line. Can you imagine that? I remember washers that had rollers that you would run your clothes through to get the water out of the clothes. When I was a child our dryer was a line outside. Electric dryers were thought to be this incredible advancement that only well off folks could afford. Everything that was cooked was cooked on a stove. Microwaves were not even something thought about and there were no shortcuts for dinner. Everything took time to make. Even thinking about ceiling fans and how they were not something much thought about. We were just fortunate to have a light in every room. Does anyone other than me remember the first color TV? No I am talking about the FIRST color TV. It was a black and white TV with a color filter you would put over the screen. It was color albeit one color. Does anyone remember the famous test pattern in the morning before the stations would sign on? For some reason I remember an Indian on that test pattern….surely would not be allowed today.
Let’s talk lawn mowers. The first lawn mower in my recollection was the type with the cylindrical cutting carriage that would rotate as you pushed it. It actually did a pretty fabulous job except it actually took EFFORT to do it. Then the motorized versions burst on the scene. The kind that had a sprocket on top you had to wind the rope around and yank. You could be doing a lot of that process if you had a mower that took it’s time starting.
Let’s go back to TV a moment. No cable TV when I was a crumb cruncher. We really thought we were living high on the hog (sorry to the PETA people for that reference) when my Dad purchased a revolving outdoor antenna that could be controlled INDOORS without having to walk out in a storm and rotate it. What an advancement. It meant you could improve reception on those three channels you were lucky to get.
Does anyone here reading this right now know what a brook trout tastes like? I used to go out and fish the brooks around Lyon Mountain and I’m telling you those little boogers were tasty. OK I am talking about the fish still Jim.
Thinking about computers and there is really nothing to compare them to in my childhood. It was just not thought about much. Looking up at my printer(s) and thinking about those days when printers didn’t exist. I do remember the old copy machines that smelled all through the halls of school when they would fire up that beastly machine which roared like an airplane when it was in operation. Remember carbon paper and how that was the only alternative for making duplicates of anything? I remember when showers were considered a luxury and bath tubs were it.
There are certainly many more things from our past that make us ponder where we are at now but those are several that come to mind. Feel free to share more!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Be Thankful
Life’s little curve balls can sometimes be more like a fastball or a knuckle ball. Everything seems to be humming along….you are in complete control of your destiny (biggest lie on the planet, by the way) and then something unexpected hits you right between the eyes. This happened to my dear wife a few months back. For those of you who have ever been the recipient of pancreatitis there really needs no explanation about the pain and enduring effects. For those who have not, you should kneel down and thank the Lord and pray it never happens to you or to someone you love. Linda pushed through it with her same determination even though this has been probably her biggest health challenge to date which, by the way, includes cancer. It’s easy to have strong emotional feelings and angst about the big “C” but pancreatitis? Really?? Really.
Now she is on the mend although it is a long process of rebuilding strength to do everyday tasks as well as being able to eat a somewhat normal diet. Things you all take for granted, i.e. getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth…….just for starters. You get the idea. This was a curve ball that no one would ever see coming and our over stressed healthcare system begins to show its stress when something like this happens and all you want is answers. If you’ve not needed answers medically in the past 6 months you don’t know what I mean but you will, at some point find out.
I've had a reoccurring message in my blog over the years and it really is this….be thankful for what you have and be mindful that it can change in an instant. My Dad always had a way of putting things very succinctly and on this he would say, “ No matter how good things get, don’t forget how bad they can be and no matter how bad things get, don’t forget how good they can be.” It sounds simplistic but it really should be a perspective we all have. Don’t just whine and complain about what you don’t have but instead be very thankful for ALL of your blessings. We all tend to lose sight of this in our busy lives until one day something like pancreatitis brings it home.
It is interesting that I started writing this about two weeks ago and then things got in the way so I shelved it and came back to it this morning and it still rings true. I look at Facebook and am continually amazed about how so many people complain about this or that but never just relish what they have. These are the same people that say the news is always negative and we never hear anything positive. Perhaps the positivity we seek should begin at home. Just a thought….
Now she is on the mend although it is a long process of rebuilding strength to do everyday tasks as well as being able to eat a somewhat normal diet. Things you all take for granted, i.e. getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth…….just for starters. You get the idea. This was a curve ball that no one would ever see coming and our over stressed healthcare system begins to show its stress when something like this happens and all you want is answers. If you’ve not needed answers medically in the past 6 months you don’t know what I mean but you will, at some point find out.
I've had a reoccurring message in my blog over the years and it really is this….be thankful for what you have and be mindful that it can change in an instant. My Dad always had a way of putting things very succinctly and on this he would say, “ No matter how good things get, don’t forget how bad they can be and no matter how bad things get, don’t forget how good they can be.” It sounds simplistic but it really should be a perspective we all have. Don’t just whine and complain about what you don’t have but instead be very thankful for ALL of your blessings. We all tend to lose sight of this in our busy lives until one day something like pancreatitis brings it home.
It is interesting that I started writing this about two weeks ago and then things got in the way so I shelved it and came back to it this morning and it still rings true. I look at Facebook and am continually amazed about how so many people complain about this or that but never just relish what they have. These are the same people that say the news is always negative and we never hear anything positive. Perhaps the positivity we seek should begin at home. Just a thought….
Thursday, April 24, 2014
A Little About Tom
So there is this man I have been working with at my new position by the name of Tom. Tom is retiring tomorrow and going to enjoy his new life travelling and doing what he wants when he wants. I’m certain everyone is envious to some extent but this was not given to Tom. Tom has worked hard all his life to provide for himself and his family. He has many experiences in his past jobs as well as his current one and if you've spent even minutes with Tom you've heard some of them.
Tom is one of these people that although I've only known since February, I feel like I’ve known him all my life. That said Tom is not afraid to tell it like it is and I think that is one of the quality things about him I admire so much. Love him or hate him you will never have a question about where he stands on most anything from doctors to medicine to food to music (a lot of 50’s and I mean a lot) and the list goes on and on.
So to wrap this little tribute up I feel I should say one more thing. The field I am in I have been in for many years but the sales aspect is somewhat new to me. Tom has taught me more in just 2 months in sales on a practical level than anyone I've met. If I succeed, which I plan on doing, it can be directly related to this guy’s help. So Tom, I wish you God’s speed and only the best in your next step in life. You truly deserve to be right where you are and to now enjoy your freedom. (as long as Karen says it’s ok)
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Dear Linda.....
Dear Linda,
Well you are on the mend and won’t likely read this for several days but what happened just emphasizes in my mind how you are so important to me. Until a challenge comes along, I don’t think we always know how we will react or how we will cope. Out of suffering comes great revelations about a person’s character and you were no different through all of this. You handled these challenges with grace and yes perhaps a little anxiety at times but even at your lowest point, the humor and sparkle never left those eyes.
During the cancer period, you were strong, had a great attitude that it was not going to beat you and just pushed through it with a smile, much more of a smile than I could muster I must add. That was difficult for me in various ways but even this recent health challenge was different. As much as we think we know God’s plan, or at least have an impact on his plan, an event like this taught me once again, that every moment is precious. (and fleeting) The last minute of your life you took to read this you cannot get back. While that certainly cannot be disputed, the older I get the more I realize how finite those minutes are or can be. The reason the statement, “youth is wasted on the young” is the very point I am trying to make. In our youth time is but a vehicle to get us from one place to the next. When we get older we realize how precious that vehicle really is and how blessed we are to have enough time in this world to make a difference.
So all indications are you will be getting out of the hospital soon. This event cemented in stone how much you mean to me and how important it is that we go on together for years to come to make the very most of those minutes we each have left in this world. Money and things are temporary….love, although not as popular a concept these days, is forever. I am blessed to have my best friend be by my side. Events like this drive the point home.
So I am very happy to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with your recent malady and, as I always do, wait in eager anticipation of your return home. One more thing…you should know, as I’m sure you do, that you have an extended Facebook network of friends and family who have been praying for you since this began. Along with Facebook, you have a huge contingency of Methodists and Episcopalians that are also praying for you and helping you through this. All of these people only strengthen my resolve and all of the prayers truly lift you up above these challenges. So be as grateful as I am that these people both near and far have been with you every step of the way!
My name may be Peter but YOU are truly my rock.
During the cancer period, you were strong, had a great attitude that it was not going to beat you and just pushed through it with a smile, much more of a smile than I could muster I must add. That was difficult for me in various ways but even this recent health challenge was different. As much as we think we know God’s plan, or at least have an impact on his plan, an event like this taught me once again, that every moment is precious. (and fleeting) The last minute of your life you took to read this you cannot get back. While that certainly cannot be disputed, the older I get the more I realize how finite those minutes are or can be. The reason the statement, “youth is wasted on the young” is the very point I am trying to make. In our youth time is but a vehicle to get us from one place to the next. When we get older we realize how precious that vehicle really is and how blessed we are to have enough time in this world to make a difference.
So all indications are you will be getting out of the hospital soon. This event cemented in stone how much you mean to me and how important it is that we go on together for years to come to make the very most of those minutes we each have left in this world. Money and things are temporary….love, although not as popular a concept these days, is forever. I am blessed to have my best friend be by my side. Events like this drive the point home.
So I am very happy to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with your recent malady and, as I always do, wait in eager anticipation of your return home. One more thing…you should know, as I’m sure you do, that you have an extended Facebook network of friends and family who have been praying for you since this began. Along with Facebook, you have a huge contingency of Methodists and Episcopalians that are also praying for you and helping you through this. All of these people only strengthen my resolve and all of the prayers truly lift you up above these challenges. So be as grateful as I am that these people both near and far have been with you every step of the way!
My name may be Peter but YOU are truly my rock.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Youthful Perspective
“Youth is wasted on the young.” I’m not certain who coined that phrase first but it is indeed a cruel irony that as adults we understand that point but as children, no amount of drilling it in our craniums would or will make a difference. I thought I would offer up a little of my own perspective.
Recent events in my life have made me think a little about what the differences are between the so called adult way of thinking and the little adults way of thinking. I think it boils down to one evil word for both children and adults; consequences. We make decisions every day that have both intended and unintended consequences. I would submit that children really don’t make the distinction and we as adults should be there to guide them. That being said I would have to also say that many children do a much better job!
So if consequences exist no matter what the age where does experience fit in as far as helping our children. It’s quite simple….anything they are trying to do that may be harmful was probably already performed by the adults in their life. But where children have the advantage is having, and I say this in hope, a backstop of an adult to temper the consequences somewhat. What children will never understand is that as adults our decisions become our own and we have nowhere to look but in the mirror as to the responsibility of said decisions. Children who are fortunate enough to have adult supervision have the real blessing of not being entirely responsible as far as our society as a whole. Yes we try to make them accountable and understand the consequences of bad decisions but oftentimes those consequences and subsequent punishments are kept within the family. We are basically judge and jury. They many times see it as unfair judgment until, of course, they become adults and then it all comes in to focus.
I would state that these are my opinions and I realize some may disagree and that’s fine, you can deal with the consequences of that disagreement. (or not) I have to say that one of the most satisfying things in my lifetime is to see my offspring finally understand why they were held to a certain yardstick of behavior and how children of today measure up. (or don’t) So keep the dialogue open and free with your children because at some point in your life, hopefully, you will have the pleasure of watching the light bulb come on in their eyes of how much your love and support made them who they are and made them think the way they think.
Recent events in my life have made me think a little about what the differences are between the so called adult way of thinking and the little adults way of thinking. I think it boils down to one evil word for both children and adults; consequences. We make decisions every day that have both intended and unintended consequences. I would submit that children really don’t make the distinction and we as adults should be there to guide them. That being said I would have to also say that many children do a much better job!
So if consequences exist no matter what the age where does experience fit in as far as helping our children. It’s quite simple….anything they are trying to do that may be harmful was probably already performed by the adults in their life. But where children have the advantage is having, and I say this in hope, a backstop of an adult to temper the consequences somewhat. What children will never understand is that as adults our decisions become our own and we have nowhere to look but in the mirror as to the responsibility of said decisions. Children who are fortunate enough to have adult supervision have the real blessing of not being entirely responsible as far as our society as a whole. Yes we try to make them accountable and understand the consequences of bad decisions but oftentimes those consequences and subsequent punishments are kept within the family. We are basically judge and jury. They many times see it as unfair judgment until, of course, they become adults and then it all comes in to focus.
I would state that these are my opinions and I realize some may disagree and that’s fine, you can deal with the consequences of that disagreement. (or not) I have to say that one of the most satisfying things in my lifetime is to see my offspring finally understand why they were held to a certain yardstick of behavior and how children of today measure up. (or don’t) So keep the dialogue open and free with your children because at some point in your life, hopefully, you will have the pleasure of watching the light bulb come on in their eyes of how much your love and support made them who they are and made them think the way they think.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
A Tribute To Karen
I feel compelled to write a little entry in memory of my late wife Karen who passed away on January 24th, 1999 or just over 15 years ago. I am twice blessed to have found Linda since then and really have no words to convey how fortunate I am to be able to include each of them as soul-mates but I wanted to write this about Karen.
Our daughter Marlee is one of the things that really exemplify Karen best. All of the things Karen was are still in Marlee. She was full of life and you could not smile when she smiled. She was quite dramatic in many aspects of her life. (Marlee) She was extremely intelligent and seemed to effortlessly display it although she really couldn’t change a flat tire. (Marlee) Again, I was blessed to have her and although the last year was very difficult for her physically she was always more concerned about everyone else around her. I will never forget when the illness she had was finally diagnosed and I was a wreck and asked her don’t you ever think why me? Her response was why not me? That blew me away at that time and still to this very day I remember it. Her faith was so strong and even got stronger as she travelled the difficult journey of the disease which ultimately took her life so early.
As life moves on we tend to take some things for granted. Karen’s death rocked my world as well as Marlee’s and many others but as I look back now I can only remember the blessings that I had at that time in Karen and that’s the way memories should be. The good thing is Karen’s memory lives on in Marlee. My guess is I see it a lot when Marlee even has no idea. So I count Marlee as another blessing in that she can remind me of just what her mother was like and why she was special to me then and her memories will be special to me always. If you never met Karen then you missed out. I can only try to convey what she meant to me, her daughter, her family and anyone else whoever had contact with her.
So here’s to you Karen…..you were a great mother, wife, and friend. It was a privilege that I will never take for granted being part of your life. Know that your daughter has gotten the best guidance and care and love from me, Linda and everyone else around her since the Lord took you home. Eventually I know we will all be together but for now we should take time every now and then to take stock in what we had….what we have…and how blessed we all are in this world!
Our daughter Marlee is one of the things that really exemplify Karen best. All of the things Karen was are still in Marlee. She was full of life and you could not smile when she smiled. She was quite dramatic in many aspects of her life. (Marlee) She was extremely intelligent and seemed to effortlessly display it although she really couldn’t change a flat tire. (Marlee) Again, I was blessed to have her and although the last year was very difficult for her physically she was always more concerned about everyone else around her. I will never forget when the illness she had was finally diagnosed and I was a wreck and asked her don’t you ever think why me? Her response was why not me? That blew me away at that time and still to this very day I remember it. Her faith was so strong and even got stronger as she travelled the difficult journey of the disease which ultimately took her life so early.
As life moves on we tend to take some things for granted. Karen’s death rocked my world as well as Marlee’s and many others but as I look back now I can only remember the blessings that I had at that time in Karen and that’s the way memories should be. The good thing is Karen’s memory lives on in Marlee. My guess is I see it a lot when Marlee even has no idea. So I count Marlee as another blessing in that she can remind me of just what her mother was like and why she was special to me then and her memories will be special to me always. If you never met Karen then you missed out. I can only try to convey what she meant to me, her daughter, her family and anyone else whoever had contact with her.
So here’s to you Karen…..you were a great mother, wife, and friend. It was a privilege that I will never take for granted being part of your life. Know that your daughter has gotten the best guidance and care and love from me, Linda and everyone else around her since the Lord took you home. Eventually I know we will all be together but for now we should take time every now and then to take stock in what we had….what we have…and how blessed we all are in this world!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
My Dad...revisited
I came across this letter I wrote several years ago. I wrote it to my dearly departed Dad. I read it....and read it again.....and realized it was worth reposting. If your Dad is still around....take some lessons from it....make it known how special he is to you right now...don't waste another minute. It could be the last minute you have.
Dear Dad,
Well it’s your birthday today and I wish I could celebrate that fact with you but instead I am left with many numerous and wonderful memories. In years past, Linda and I would have performed the very difficult task of trying to figure out what to send you for your special day. Not this year and what I wouldn’t give for another chance.
I’m not sure if you would be disappointed in me or upset with me but I still miss you as if you passed yesterday. Everyone tells me it will get easier. Everyone tells me to give it more time. While I know this to be true it’s not what I really want to hear. The worst part is there really isn’t anything anyone can say that will make this easier. The years march on whether we like it or not and our mortality eventually becomes a realization. Knowledge of that fact is of little comfort even now.
What I have learned over the years and in my various losses of loved ones are there really never seems to be enough time. Never enough time to say I love you one more time. Never enough time to see just one more smile or hear one more “my aching back”. Never enough time to enjoy one more dinner at Mainly Lobster or a michigan at McSweeney’s. So instead we are left with our memories and they will have to suffice but right now….at this very moment….I find even the memories to not be enough. I feel weak Dad. I feel like I need to draw on an inner strength that at this moment escapes me. So I will pray….and pray some more for my God to supply me with that needed strength.
I will never forget our long talks about everything under the sun. I will never forget my counseling you, of all things, when you lost Daisy. As much as we disagreed on politics how I wish I could be in an engaging conversation about this President with you. I would give anything to be sitting beside you watching your beloved Yankees just one more time.
I want to thank you Dad. You supplied me with a foundation to my faith. You gave me an example to follow and a hero to admire. You taught me right from wrong even though I didn’t always get that right every time. You taught me to find wit and humor in any situation. You taught me to stand by my convictions even when I stood alone. You taught me how to blow a pretty fair horn. So even though you were no more perfect than any of us you made me want to aspire to try and measure up to you and I continue that mission still today. You have left some big shoes to fill and I may never fill them but I will never stop trying.
I know you are already growing impatient with me getting all emotional and nostalgic so I will close this letter. Dad, I never really said this enough to you but I love you. You knew it…I knew it…and for us that was enough. But I wish I could tell you right now in person one more time. So this will have to do. I know I will see you again….not sure when that will be…..but that very fact will sustain me and one day….in the future….I will see you face to face….and will tell you once more…..I love you.
Pete
Dear Dad,
Well it’s your birthday today and I wish I could celebrate that fact with you but instead I am left with many numerous and wonderful memories. In years past, Linda and I would have performed the very difficult task of trying to figure out what to send you for your special day. Not this year and what I wouldn’t give for another chance.
I’m not sure if you would be disappointed in me or upset with me but I still miss you as if you passed yesterday. Everyone tells me it will get easier. Everyone tells me to give it more time. While I know this to be true it’s not what I really want to hear. The worst part is there really isn’t anything anyone can say that will make this easier. The years march on whether we like it or not and our mortality eventually becomes a realization. Knowledge of that fact is of little comfort even now.
What I have learned over the years and in my various losses of loved ones are there really never seems to be enough time. Never enough time to say I love you one more time. Never enough time to see just one more smile or hear one more “my aching back”. Never enough time to enjoy one more dinner at Mainly Lobster or a michigan at McSweeney’s. So instead we are left with our memories and they will have to suffice but right now….at this very moment….I find even the memories to not be enough. I feel weak Dad. I feel like I need to draw on an inner strength that at this moment escapes me. So I will pray….and pray some more for my God to supply me with that needed strength.
I will never forget our long talks about everything under the sun. I will never forget my counseling you, of all things, when you lost Daisy. As much as we disagreed on politics how I wish I could be in an engaging conversation about this President with you. I would give anything to be sitting beside you watching your beloved Yankees just one more time.
I want to thank you Dad. You supplied me with a foundation to my faith. You gave me an example to follow and a hero to admire. You taught me right from wrong even though I didn’t always get that right every time. You taught me to find wit and humor in any situation. You taught me to stand by my convictions even when I stood alone. You taught me how to blow a pretty fair horn. So even though you were no more perfect than any of us you made me want to aspire to try and measure up to you and I continue that mission still today. You have left some big shoes to fill and I may never fill them but I will never stop trying.
I know you are already growing impatient with me getting all emotional and nostalgic so I will close this letter. Dad, I never really said this enough to you but I love you. You knew it…I knew it…and for us that was enough. But I wish I could tell you right now in person one more time. So this will have to do. I know I will see you again….not sure when that will be…..but that very fact will sustain me and one day….in the future….I will see you face to face….and will tell you once more…..I love you.
Pete
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