Men Vs Women

On the surface this may seem a rather obvious and almost unnecessary issue to address. I assure you it is one of the most important things you will need to learn in life as a man. The saddest part of this is you will indeed never learn this as a man and I count myself most definitely among you.

Women are incredibly the most gifted multitaskers you will ever know. They can successfully navigate through numerous tasks simultaneously with not so much as a flinch. Men are not. Simply put the very best thing a man can do dealing with most any task is doing it from beg ginning to end and then moving on to the next task. I think I've mentioned this before but the best analogy I can use is that a man is like a dog. You throw the stick and the dog forgets all else in his path even to the danger of it's own health and seeks out the stick and nothing you do or say can stop the dog. That analogy does break down with me in that I may stop and attempt to do something other than get the stick, in fact may attempt several tasks and when I do not finish any of those added tasks I forget not only where the stick went but most times I forget about the stick entirely. Morale of this story: men should not multitask period. Now I know you men out there are saying I can multitask and I would submit to you that you are in serious denial.

The next point to consider about our differences is quite simple as well: men could not survive without women. You may not be married in which case I would tell you there is a woman out there in your life that keeps you from hurting yourself. How many times have you heard of an elderly man's wife passing away and the man could not even open a soup can? There are some exceptional men out there that are capable of opening their own can of soup but most probably shouldn't be trusted with the lid of the can after it's removed. As men we like to think we are invincible and "the man of the house" and everything does and must pass through our authorization before it is official. We are morons if we think that. So to sum up this issue, we are morons.

I look at my desk and see a huge pile of unnecessary crap that not only is of no use to me but really is of no use to anyone and therefore I hang onto it. If you asked me to locate a particular document, I would suggest you pack a lunch if you are going to stand by after said request. I wander into my wife's office and am amazed how you could actually eat off her desk. If I make a request for a document, it will be in my hands, in most cases, before I finish the question. So women are organized and men are pigs. Again there are exceptions to this but I think any man who has an inkling of organization has an extra Y chromosome.

There is one area of life that men excel above women. Men are better drivers. That is, of course, until the man gets a speeding ticket or has an accident and you may then throw that entire mistaken premise out the window. Men are not better drivers we just think we are.

Back to one of my previous premises about women being organized and men being pigs, I invite you to inspect how a man cleans a room and how a woman cleans a room. Basically if only two legged creatures are the only apparent life forms a man thinks the room is clean. However, the woman will start at the top and work her way to the bottom not missing anything in between. My wife can turn a kitchen into an FDA clean room. I can turn a kitchen into a laboratory as well but for different and very disturbing reasons. So to sum it up men are pigs.

So to close this entry, I will repeat my previous assertion. The basic difference between men and woman is women could rule this planet without men but the reverse would be a major catastrophe so whenever you look into your wife's eyes or your mother's eye's you had better understand that without those wonderful people you simply would not exist.