Monday, October 3, 2011

Abolish Spam!

You May Qualify for a Financial Aid.

750 is a Great Score! | Check Your Credit Score for $0!

Get Certified: Systems, Servers, Programming & More...

Wal-Mart Giveaway - Free Groceries for a Month. Details Inside!

51% Off Film Festival - Raleigh

7 Day Forecast Mon Oct 3, 2011

Your exclusive offer ends tonight: 20% OFF Sitewide

Ends today! Take 30% off 1 item - including new Down Coats

ATTENTION MEN: Save 60% NOW on GNC's New Clinically Proven Testosterone Booster!

350k Coverage as low as 13.04/month!

Buffet Survival Strategies

Fall has arrived. And so have the savings.




So I thought I would comment on Spam. Below are the most recent 12 emails I received this morning. This stuff is worse than the circulars I get in my mailbox. It would seem there is little that can be done to stop this hideous onslaught of this most always unwelcome and quite frequently offensive drivel. You can put all the filters you want on your mailbox and what often happens is you will filter out the important stuff and get something about male testosterone boosters.

Looking at this list, at least it’s not obscenely offensive. Let’s examine each e-mail one by one shall we? I may qualify for financial aid huh? OK, fishing expedition…sorry I don’t need it. Of course the very next e-mail makes the bold statement that a credit score of 750 is “great”! So if I get the financial aid I’m guessing that the second e-mail would be irrelevant?

To speak to the third e-mail…..I’ve got plenty of certifications and just keeping them up is enough, thank you! Another fishing expedition that will get them nowhere with me. I wonder how many people respond to this junk. Enough, apparently to justify its annoying frequency.

I don’t want to look inside to get my free Walmart groceries for a year….just give them to me and we can each go our merry way.

The next one just makes me wonder why 51% off? Why not 50 or 55? Is this a psychological way to make more folks notice? I guess in my case it worked on some level.

OK, the 7 day forecast is something I can use with the exception of the fact that they only stand a chance of getting tomorrow’s weather somewhat accurate. The rest of the week my knee can typically be more accurate.

My “exclusive” 20% offer ends tonight! Oh my God……so this is my offer and mine alone? I am really going to regret not using this exclusive offer. Sorry folks, perhaps you’ll get your own exclusive offer some day.


I am going to miss out on yet another offer, although not exclusive it would seem. By their line it looks like they missed offering a discount on Down coats last time and some heads must have rolled.




The next one is mildly offensive. First of all just how would they know if my testosterone level was low? Might be a good guess on their part but it seems that is a pretty personal issue and I will use my own dipstick to check my testosterone level with no help form GNC!

Now seriously if I got a 350 K loan for $13.04 a month it would take me like 400 years to pay it off. I didn’t just fall off the applecart….especially using that archaic phrase.

I really love the buffet survival strategy book. I could write that book….it would say AVOID BUFFETS. I wonder how much I could sell that book for?

And finally the one email line that actually makes some sense. Fall has arrived! Wait…..has it?? Or have I slept for a month? I have to stop taking that Ambien…perhaps I’ll get an email from GNC about getting some help sleeping! I can’t wait!


So that’s my exciting list of spam email for now. I obviously have more when I returned home but I think I’ve made my point. This stuff wears me out and it is hard to believe that people are employed out in cyberland to just continually molest people with this type of junk e-mail. I want to interview someone some day that states they were a junk mail creator just so I can communicate how thankful I am.

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