For some reason, which I am always unsure of, I felt a need to write about one topic that seems to have really changed over the years. I am speaking about the word “family”. Not that many decades ago the term family and blood were interchangeable. Family is now not so well defined. Is this a bad thing or good thing? I don’t think it’s either but some families are blatantly dysfunctional while others preserve a tight bond. Then there is the family such as mine that falls somewhere in the middle. (Perhaps leaning towards the dysfunctional) I am still connected with most of my family and have an extended family of many beautiful Grandchildren as well as a daughter, two sons, a step son and cousins as far as the eye can see…and then some.
Now my family has had more than its share of drama over the years and I’ve experienced about as many types of losses there are in a family; some in my control, some not. I don’t say this to garner any sympathy but just to state that loss is not unfamiliar to me.
But the entire dynamic of a family is being re-adjudicated in our lifetime. What used to be Grandparents, Fathers, Mothers, Sons and Daughters making up the immediate family is now not so well defined. Another thing about past families is where I grew up and no matter what the religious affiliation; God of some kind was usually a guiding force. This is slowly and maybe in some circles quickly changing. The world’s commercialism has finally begun to take its toll. Christmas for many children is about presents and candy. When I grew up, Christmas was certainly about Santa Claus but there was also this birthday we were celebrating….the Son of God. No matter how much we enjoyed the presents and the candy and everything else about the commercial side, we were frequently reminded why Christmas existed. That has fallen by the wayside and that is a travesty that will reap negative benefits for years to come.
I wonder how many people take a few minutes to ponder what their family dynamic really is and how it has affected their lives. I have more cousins than you can shake a stick at and have been woefully inadequate staying in touch. I take full responsibility. We all get so swept up in our daily lives that we tend to push off what should be a priority because in the end we are left with family and our God. If you only have one or neither than your life will end, in my humble opinion, on a lonely note.
I think everyone should take a step back and try to reconnect to family. I know there are relationships too divided by circumstances but in many cases we have just lost touch. I am going to take a look at that myself. You can procrastinate about this but in the end you will be the one who suffers. Something to think about…..
Hi Cuz, Glad we connected and have stayed that way. This is a good article that touches on many things that deserve some well considered thinking. And (you know something is coming, right?) I'm proud to know someone who can use the word re-adjudicated in a sentence. Ha! Well done.
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I guess we are somewhat connected. If not for social media! In all fairness, the distance between us does come into play. I would give anything for a family get-together between the four of us and our families. Probably won't happen, but I can dream! And you are right in that family does not necessarily mean blood only. But blood does run thick! Love you, little brother!
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