Do You "Know" What You Have?

Do you know what you have? Seem like a strange question? Think about it for a bit.
If you have a cell phone in your hand right now you have something that not only didn’t always exist in much of my lifetime but for many years only the elite could afford. Can you imagine explaining to someone of 30 years ago what you can do with your phone today? What seems so mundane and a normal part of life was not even considered when I was a child.

Do you own a color TV? I know that some of you whippersnappers are saying what does he mean a “color” TV? When I was a child only the elite could afford color TVs. In fact for many years, if you had a TV at all you were considered well off. More than 1 TV? Not even a consideration for many families when I was a child.

Do you listen to music on an Ipod or some other electronic portable device? If you didn’t have a record player in my youth (with a good needle) and you were lucky enough to have a transistor radio and could actually pick up a radio station that was your form of entertainment with music. If you were really well off you had a record player and even some records.

Do you have running water? Silly question right…..well in my youth there were houses that did not. Frankly, there are many third world nations even today that do not have running water in houses. Do you have a washing machine? You guessed it…..many could not afford to own their own machines for many years. Laundromats were a real hopping business.

Do you have a car? (or 2 or 3 or more!) Again, if you were lucky enough to own one years ago you were pretty popular. Now teenagers have their own cars….unheard of not that many years ago.

If you are reading this you have some sort of web enabled device that allows you to read it along with an internet connection. Not that long ago having your own internet connection was very expensive and only the elite had it not to mention their own computers.

Do you have a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago most people actually had to bake their own bread if they wanted it. My wife eluded to me a while ago that she didn’t even know sliced bread existed until she was 6 or 7 years old!

You can look in any room you want and really look around and think about all of the things we use every day that didn’t exist that long ago. It’s quite amazing if you really ponder it. Where we have come with plastics and manufacturing is astounding and you need not look far to get a sense of that. Try it sometime….look at your desk or your car or your office or school and think about the everyday things you use and do and research 20 or 30 years ago….you will learn that although we have a lot…..we really do not know what we have.

Friends (Probably Not What You Think)

How many friends do you have? OK then, how many good friends do you have? OK then how many “close” friends do you have? Recent events have caused me to ponder these questions. Facebook friends are great and the prayer chain that is created in times of crisis is very comforting and supportive but what about when you are not in crisis and just want a friend to sit and talk with?

I don’t have a lot of close friends and maybe that is just me. My very best friend is the person I took vows with and I am blessed to have such a friend and companion. I have many friends I have made over the years through my church involvement but have probably not worked hard enough at building them into something closer. I have friends that I have made through my, unfortunately, multiple varied jobs in the past few years but none of them I could call close friends.

I’m not complaining, I just wonder how many of me are out there. How many people keep their private life private and don’t have a lot of close friends as they are basically satisfied with what they have and who they are sharing their life with. I sometimes see my friends having parties and outings and feel a little unhealthy envy but the structure of my life and how close my friendships can be counted is really a personal choice. I think that friendships can be seen a lot like marriage. If you don’t work at the relationships then they do not stay strong and they will be nothing more than passing relationships.

I don’t even know where I am going with this topic but I have been pondering it with recent events that my wife has been going through with her health. I had a lot of support through Facebook and family and some friends but it really did illuminate that my circle of close friends is small. I am OK with this as it is the way I really have lived my life over these past years. Linda, in my eyes, had such an incredible outpouring of her Methodist friends and colleagues that it was humbling to see. I stayed beside my closest friend and when she told me she felt guilty about how many hours I stayed with her it puzzled me because there is no place I would rather be. That is not to say it wasn’t difficult seeing her dealing with the various health issues and pain and in fact that was the hardest part but it is to say that I chose her to be my wife and in my mind closest of friends.

Again, I am not complaining just stating facts. If the Lord took me home tomorrow I could say I lived a full and blessed life and have known many incredible people and been involved and tried to do the best I could do in anything I was involved with be it church, work, family and friends. Did I fall short? At times yes but then I honestly can say that I succeeded more than I failed. I hope you can all say that as well.

Arm tied Behind My Back.....

So I am compelled to write a little tonight even though I am basically exhausted by the day’s events. If any men out there are married to their soul mate they will understand this. My wife had a procedure today at the hospital that was supposed to be outpatient surgery and long story short, she will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. She’s in good hands right? No big deal right? Right and wrong.

This lady has gone through a lot and somehow she has the strength and attitude to push through it. What I am going through pales compared to her trials. That being said, when I don’t have her by my side day in and day out I am like a lost puppy. It’s as if someone has tied one hand behind my back and said….there now have a nice day. Some of you know my past and how I had to deal with a real loss. I would never and could never diminish such a loss. THAT said, without Linda with me I feel like an unplugged GPS. Nothing else seems very important. I am blessed to have a daughter that hangs by my side and tries to steer me away from trouble but that is a difficult task to say the least. We have a great seemingly limitless number of prayer warriors that keep us grounded and guided by the Lord which is also pretty important during these times.

So I have a lot to be thankful for and yet I am a fractured soul when my lady is not near. I do pray a lot for guidance and strength. That helps but there are times when even that seem to not fill this void. Do not think for a moment that I am saying I don’t realize how fortunate I am. I am who I am and what I am because of all of the great people surrounding me for all of my life with love and support and friendship.

I suppose what I am feeling right now is a bit of angst about not having my lady by my side and having to watch her suffer yet again. I know none of us knows God’s will or plan but there are times when my faith is challenged when I see someone I love with all of my heart go through so much pain and suffering time after time. She would never ask the question why but I find myself asking it on occasion and while I understand I won’t know the answer perhaps until the next life I think of myself as weak in having to ask the question.

That’s it for tonight. I have a lot of people praying for my wife’s recovery and that means the world to her and to me but I just had to vent a little of the frustration that accompanies these recent trials. Thanks everyone who read this till the end for listening and give your soul mate a hug and tell them you love them because life is full of mystery and surprise.

Pipe dreams and Other Thoughts

Are we more important than we think we are? I’ve wondered that from time to time. Then it occurs to me that we should really be more concerned about how we are important to others. I don’t mean just in the sense of responsibility but just mattering to others. Do we just wake up one morning and say “I think I am going to start to matter to others.” I think not. I hope not. The way we gain importance is through how we make a difference in other people’s lives. It’s about the effort we make to actually affect others in a positive way. It can start by something as simple as holding a door open for someone.

Why should we care? I’m sure that many people these days really look at how they are viewed instead of actually affecting the view. The other point to acknowledge is if we are trying to affect the view in only superficial ways we will only look as shallow as those attempts.

You see, I think that living your life for others is the supreme way to really and truly make a difference. Many people in this day and age live life only for themselves. It is known as what’s in it for me rather than how can I make a difference for them. You see it every day. Go to a supermarket and watch how people are on self-missions and God help anyone who breaks their mission’s rhythm. You can ride on any road and see how so many people seem to be ready to beep their horn at anyone who breaks their stride. Remember the old saying, patience is a virtue? I submit that is a mostly lost virtue. I think that virtue began to decay when the microwave was invented. Push a button and in 2 minutes you have a complete meal. Now it is an expectation that we push a button and instantly get what we want. No more need for patience.

I talked about this with my dear sweet wife the other day and said imagine if everyone lost their cell phone reception for a day. The world would go into complete turmoil. Nothing would really change in that day but the perception of being disconnected from an over-connected world would drive deep and traumatic results. Perhaps it would also make everyone stop and look at each other if for just a day and perhaps even TALK to each other. What a hideous time that would be right?

How about no electricity for a day? Now, of course, the obvious need for electricity is with health care and vital services but think how paralyzed we are when power goes out for just 20 or 30 minutes?

My point in all of these mind numbing thoughts is we are a product of screaming fast and ever changing technology. Technology has come so far in such a short period of time that humanity and the way we interact has been forever changed. The majority of anyone younger than me could never imagine a world without a cell phone, microwave, computer or GPS. I grew up without all of those things and seem to have done OK. (Opinions may differ) So I submit instead of having an Earth Day or some other “green initiative” we should have a technology free day. Perhaps look at a flower or the ocean or listen to the wind blowing through the trees or just sit and talk to someone instead of TEXTING. It is a pipe dream but pipe dreams are always where dreams start so that’s my pipe dream.

Just Proud That's All

So often my little blogs are to remember people or things and occasionally I write because I have been inspired. This would be one of those times. Let me tell you about this woman.

This is a woman who goes through life with an open heart. This may seem like a cliché but I assure you it is the absolute truth about this woman. You see, she has worked a number of years in service to the United Methodist Church. Most times she is in the background and frankly, she really prefers it that way. While she works in the background assisting and nurturing each year a new group of aspiring pastors. She does it because she loves what she does and she really loves being connected to so many impressive Christian leaders to come. You may be saying well big deal, what’s so special about that?

This weekend we were privileged, and I mean that in the most sincere way, to sit on our sofa together and watch another annual conference for the UMC. I did more than watch the conference. I watched her. She named every aspiring candidate by their full name before the Bishop would. She could tell me details about these special people that I would venture even some family members would not remember. While this is inspiring alone there is another aspect of this process I watched. I watched Linda’s eyes light up with each ordination and I watched tears of joy flow from her during this process that really put me in awe.

We go to our jobs day by day and push through and once in a while might experience some sort of satisfaction in some way but whenever I watch Linda during one of these conferences I have pangs of envy that while not healthy are real. I will likely never experience what she seems to experience but I am at least the beneficiary of second hand satisfaction.

She may not be there many more conventions but I know that when that chapter ends she will surely miss those intense moments. I know I will. I say this not to brag on her, although I am happy to do that, I say this because I have never been more proud of anyone and more inspired by anyone in my life. She is not a Methodist but you would not know that by the pride she shows in her candidates that she helped through their process. I just wanted to get this out. The really neat thing is long when Linda and I have gone to our glory, there will be a large flock of shepherds in the United Methodist Church that I know for sure will never forget her.

Some Past Remembrances

I've been thinking lately, and yes I know that’s a problem of itself, about just where we are now as a society and where we have come from in my life. My life is but a speck on humanity but it is mine none the less so just come along for the ride.

I’m trying to remember all of the technological advances in my lifetime and frankly it is too much to just spout off here but I want to at least mention the highlights. When I was a little boy I ran around my old hometown of Lyon Mountain, NY free as a bird. My only stress was to try and determine how many bumble bees I could catch in my jar and lid. I remember strolling through the woods and on paths and picking wild blueberries and strawberries and feasting on them. I remember eating rhubarb right out of the ground. I remember picking and eating apples until my stomach hurt. I remember my one speed bike, yes I said ONE speed….just frittering the hours away riding to Standish or Chateauguay Lake and exploring all nature had to offer and it had a lot. I think as an adult I have a keener appreciation for nature than even children these days do and that is sad.
The reason I digressed to my childhood is it has a real connection to who I am now and it also has a bearing on who kids are now and where they are headed. There were no buttons to push for me as a child….no phones to carry around. I was not instantly connected to everyone on the planet. My world was what was around me and I really think it was a better world because I think people of my generation had a stronger connection to people around them and to the things around them. Children these days can’t interact with nature and are getting more disconnected from even other people. This is what is, in my opinion, heading us down a path that will be hard to change. Now I know not all children are as I describe but I also know it is a disturbingly large number. I almost wish there was a way to hit the reset button on many of our so called technological advances and get back to basics. Let’s face it…we come into this world with nothing and we leave this world with the same thing. No cell phone service in heaven….at least I hope not!

OK, so we have the cell phone now. I remember having a party line phone as a child where three or four houses shared the same line. Can you imagine that? I remember washers that had rollers that you would run your clothes through to get the water out of the clothes. When I was a child our dryer was a line outside. Electric dryers were thought to be this incredible advancement that only well off folks could afford. Everything that was cooked was cooked on a stove. Microwaves were not even something thought about and there were no shortcuts for dinner. Everything took time to make. Even thinking about ceiling fans and how they were not something much thought about. We were just fortunate to have a light in every room. Does anyone other than me remember the first color TV? No I am talking about the FIRST color TV. It was a black and white TV with a color filter you would put over the screen. It was color albeit one color. Does anyone remember the famous test pattern in the morning before the stations would sign on? For some reason I remember an Indian on that test pattern….surely would not be allowed today.

Let’s talk lawn mowers. The first lawn mower in my recollection was the type with the cylindrical cutting carriage that would rotate as you pushed it. It actually did a pretty fabulous job except it actually took EFFORT to do it. Then the motorized versions burst on the scene. The kind that had a sprocket on top you had to wind the rope around and yank. You could be doing a lot of that process if you had a mower that took it’s time starting.

Let’s go back to TV a moment. No cable TV when I was a crumb cruncher. We really thought we were living high on the hog (sorry to the PETA people for that reference) when my Dad purchased a revolving outdoor antenna that could be controlled INDOORS without having to walk out in a storm and rotate it. What an advancement. It meant you could improve reception on those three channels you were lucky to get.

Does anyone here reading this right now know what a brook trout tastes like? I used to go out and fish the brooks around Lyon Mountain and I’m telling you those little boogers were tasty. OK I am talking about the fish still Jim.

Thinking about computers and there is really nothing to compare them to in my childhood. It was just not thought about much. Looking up at my printer(s) and thinking about those days when printers didn’t exist. I do remember the old copy machines that smelled all through the halls of school when they would fire up that beastly machine which roared like an airplane when it was in operation. Remember carbon paper and how that was the only alternative for making duplicates of anything? I remember when showers were considered a luxury and bath tubs were it.

There are certainly many more things from our past that make us ponder where we are at now but those are several that come to mind. Feel free to share more!

Be Thankful

Life’s little curve balls can sometimes be more like a fastball or a knuckle ball. Everything seems to be humming along….you are in complete control of your destiny (biggest lie on the planet, by the way) and then something unexpected hits you right between the eyes. This happened to my dear wife a few months back. For those of you who have ever been the recipient of pancreatitis there really needs no explanation about the pain and enduring effects. For those who have not, you should kneel down and thank the Lord and pray it never happens to you or to someone you love. Linda pushed through it with her same determination even though this has been probably her biggest health challenge to date which, by the way, includes cancer. It’s easy to have strong emotional feelings and angst about the big “C” but pancreatitis? Really?? Really.

Now she is on the mend although it is a long process of rebuilding strength to do everyday tasks as well as being able to eat a somewhat normal diet. Things you all take for granted, i.e. getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth…….just for starters. You get the idea. This was a curve ball that no one would ever see coming and our over stressed healthcare system begins to show its stress when something like this happens and all you want is answers. If you’ve not needed answers medically in the past 6 months you don’t know what I mean but you will, at some point find out.

I've had a reoccurring message in my blog over the years and it really is this….be thankful for what you have and be mindful that it can change in an instant. My Dad always had a way of putting things very succinctly and on this he would say, “ No matter how good things get, don’t forget how bad they can be and no matter how bad things get, don’t forget how good they can be.” It sounds simplistic but it really should be a perspective we all have. Don’t just whine and complain about what you don’t have but instead be very thankful for ALL of your blessings. We all tend to lose sight of this in our busy lives until one day something like pancreatitis brings it home.

It is interesting that I started writing this about two weeks ago and then things got in the way so I shelved it and came back to it this morning and it still rings true. I look at Facebook and am continually amazed about how so many people complain about this or that but never just relish what they have. These are the same people that say the news is always negative and we never hear anything positive. Perhaps the positivity we seek should begin at home. Just a thought….