Thirteen And Counting!

Thirteen years today. Thirteen years ago today I said I do and am I glad I did. Some of you know my history but I thought after my previous marriage and all of the challenges faced I would never do it again. And then came along Linda. This lady with a youthful spirit and incredible heart that I had no choice but to fall in love with immediately. To be fair I’m pretty sure I didn’t fall into her plans either. This balding guy with a daughter in the throws of near teendom offered her plenty of challenges as well. The God came along and said hold on you two…..you need to be together!

Yes we’ve had our share of bumps in the road but nothing, including cancer, could ever shake the one thing in our lives that could and will never be shaken…our love. I am blessed and privileged. I have been taught more things in this 13 years about myself and about life then I ever could have imagined and I owe who I am at this moment to this wonderful lady.

So this is a short entry because I could not fit enough words on this site to describe and express my thankfulness. I love you dear lady and look forward to many MANY more years of this journey of life beside you.

OK...One Last Political Rant

First I want to say that this will be my one pre-election post. I made a statement I would not bombard my Facebook friends and family about politics at this point and I guess this might be a little end-around but since my cousin had the gumption to make his statement I shall make mine. You can all stop reading if you don’t care and that’s the beauty of this type of exchange.

This has been as hideous an election process as it was billed to be. If you listen to the pundants, everyone is being dishonest. Truth used to be simple and straight forward and now we have cyberspace to muddle everything up. I frankly have not been able to tell who is being honest about the numbers. At this point I am not focusing on these numbers. I am focusing on the records of the two major party candidates. Actions really do speak louder than words and you can either choose to ignore what has taken place these last four years or you can take notice of it. I choose to take notice.

always thought that one of the great things that separate our country from most is our freedom to have the chance to be what we want to be. Many countries don’t extend that freedom to their citizenry. I think that one of the aspects that set us apart, at least in the past, is our individual attitudes that we will work hard to become successful. This success used to be celebrated as achievement and now it is considered by one party to be a tag of greed. If you make something of yourself, according to many Democrats, you did it by rolling over many less fortunate. Oh, and if you become successful you are now out of touch. I do not and will never subscribe to this bashing of the successful. I realize that many of the jobs I've held in my life were due to the successful.

If you know me, you know where I stand. I've always been about individual rights. I’ve always been against an every expanding ever encroaching Federal government. I want the truly needy to be provided for. I also want to give these people the tools to lift them up out of that situation and experience success on their own. I place a lot more value on helping someone realize the satisfaction of achievement than I do subsidizing people to remain in poverty. I think the conservative platform mirrors the way I feel.

Finally while my local choices are rooted in Conservatism I also know everyone is different. I am not Republican and I am not a Democrat, I am a Conservative. While our presidential choices are not ideal I also know there is no ideal candidate and we will never agree 100% with any one of them. That being said I will not vote to re-elect a candidate that does not subscribe to the ideals of a hand up and not a hand out. I will not vote for a candidate that has continued to increase spending at record levels with little to show for it other than a huge deficit. So that is my choice this season. You all have the privilege to vote how you think and to express your opinions as well. I can only be hopeful that the next four years things turn around.

Laws??? Are You Kidding??

I am trying to remain positive. As I was driving around our fare city the other day it occurred to me that I was a very small minority of people actually following traffic laws. As this observation sank in, it made me wonder about our society in general. Now before anyone gets defensive just forget it. I don’t care if you’re a new driver or a seasoned citizen you all, with small exceptions, ignore most basic driving laws. So to me the deeper question is why?

Have we become a society that is so self absorbed that everyone and everything else takes a back seat? What I am getting at are driving laws the only laws we ignore? I think it’s a good question. I think it is a matter of both respect and of integrity. I have a deep respect for the law and the people that are charged at enforcing the law. Do you?

Do you respect and consider everyone else in this world? I’m not just talking about driving and really I pose these questions about our human behavior in general. Go to a public location and watch how people react and interact with strangers. I think we are sliding into an impersonal and inconsiderate kind of society. We would rather e-mail the person two cubicles away then actually talk to them and we actually KNOW them to some degree. What does this say about us?

I don’t go to theaters a great deal anymore and it is because, you guessed it, inconsiderate people. Go to a store and just try to talk to anyone you don’t know. Often you are scanned with a lack of trust about your actual intentions for just a friendly conversation. Even our house of worship is a place where we must really intentionally reach out to newcomers and it is work for many of us because we just don’t do it anywhere else.

So back to the driving observation. I try to stay within a modicum of the speed limit. Can you imagine that? I drive our beltline and I don’t care when it is people fly by me with absolutely no regard to any sense of danger they may be causing. Do they not care? Many of these people are probably your neighbors that you think a great deal of and that begs the question why do they drive the way they do?

It may all come back to the old adage about how it is so much easier to look at others and not at your own mirror. I really think for some people that behavior has become so habitual no matter what type of behavior that they are completely clueless about whether it is a good behavior or bad one. Don’t get me wrong. I have faults. Plenty of them, however, I just have to wonder if people actually care about anything but themselves any longer. The more serious question is can this type of behavior be changed.

You may have guessed it but I don’t have answers to these questions. The only way I see to make any change is one person at a time. I will continue to obey the speed limit to the annoyance of so many and who knows…perhaps someone else may take a step back and say hey….I guess I was breaking the law.

Things

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything but thought I would write a few thoughts about things going on in my life and around me. The first thing is I’ve been involved in something I had not considered I would be for a long time but here it is; I am officially on a job search. My company has made the decision to exit the security business so along with that exit is my position. I took a while for me to accept this fact and although I have slowly been ramping this effort up I will now begin a full out assault on finding a position. I don’t feel sorry for myself as I really feel fortunate to have been given the opportunity to stretch and learn many new skills. That said, job searching and all of the peripheral issues that go along with that course of action is hideous. I liken this to learning someone you love has cancer. Until you actually fill those shoes you are unaware just how so many are affected by this setback. So anyhow, I ask for your prayers and support in my latest life endeavor. I am confident that this is only a temporary hindrance for me and I know the right fit is out there and I will find it.

On a more positive note, my lovely woman is approaching that 5 year milestone of being cancer free! She has always told me that although the label survivor is attached to this success she considers herself to be a liver of life and not just a survivor. This lady is special and she would be the last one to know it but she is an inspiration to so many around her. One of my true gifts in this world was to meet Linda and I am continually reminded each and every day how much of a gift she is in my life. So to suggest she is just a survivor would be a disservice to what she means to me and to anyone she touches…she is a gift.

I have dialed back the political rhetoric and opinions. There seems to be a very bulky supply to go around already. I am boycotting the last debate. These debates become more just commercials for each candidate and less issue and fact driven and as Forrest Gump would say that’s all I’m gonna say about that!

While I could continue to write and rant about bad drivers, unruly children, lack of personal accountability by some, etc….I will close for now. I need to focus my energies on the more important issues in my life….

New and Improved??

New and improved is such a everyday claim that no one really believes it anymore. I recently wrote a submission in our church newsletter about this phenomenon. I don’t care if it’s motor oil, laundry soap, yogurt, cereal or Ginsu knives they are all new and improved. I guess I understand some of these things as technology invents a new additive (Probably will be deemed carcinogenic in the future) that cleans better, lubricates more (OK Cuz get your mind out of the gutter) or tastes better but some things do mystify me a bit. How about these new lower cholesterol laden eggs? What’s that all about? I guess they feed the chickens less bacon and butter. Have you notice that ice cream gallons are in many cases no longer gallons for either the same or increased pricing? There’s progress and something new and improved. How about new and improved bottled water? Is it coming from a different part of the New Jersey River now? No actually it was the bottle they supposedly improved…what they did was make it thinner plastic…same tap…different bottle.

I wonder if we’ll ever come to a day when society just says that’s it. We can’t make a single thing any better now. Everything you have is as good as it gets. Now move on, nothing more to see here. I guess I doubt that as we will never be satisfied and man will always be trying to build a better mousetrap. By the way have you looked in Lowes at mousetraps? They are getting pretty fancy at killing those rodents. Now I don’t know about you but I somehow doubt a mouse will fall for the fake techno-cheese facsimile on some of these little traps and if they do well they really should be off to mouse heaven or wherever those little gnarly creatures go.

I love how a cereal maker improved their cereals. Replacing the second ingredient in many of the cereals, the first being sugar, is whole grain. So I guess everyone can now feel good about eating their frosted flakes because the grain is now whole. I can feel the pounds just falling off now.

Here’s another one I like; you really can’t improve much on bleach but they managed to do it. They made a spill proof bottle. (Or was that spill resistant?) Anyway I put it to the test…..=fail. I do have one question regarding yogurt. Yes yogurt. Where did this Greek style yogurt come from and why didn’t they just start with the Greek stuff. I actually can tolerate the Greek stuff.

Now to be fair there are products that definitely could be classified new and improved. They are mostly electronic in nature such as computers, TV’s, etc. TV’s have come a long way from the era where we put colored plastic covers over out black and white TVs and called them color TV’s and computers…well they have continually improved.

That’s it for today. Think about new and improved items that are or are not improvements and post them here and have a new and improved day!

Politics...Continued

Yes it’s the political season and as much as so many seem to hate to keep talking about politics and some not at all I still persist. I can’t really explain why I like talking about it. Perhaps I enjoy a good controversy or perhaps I just want something better for future generations or perhaps it’s a little of each. I just know I need to at least get it out if for no one else but myself. (And that is likely a bigger reality than I realize)

I am talking about the Presidential race here and while I realize that really it’s the Congress and local politicians that get anything done the Presidential race is a kind of symbol of the direction we are headed and after all we have become a country of symbolism. If the symbol of nationally directed and mandated healthcare with the thought we are helping everyone have insurance than how can that be a bad thing? If the welfare program symbolizes that ever person in our country doesn’t go hungry how can that be a bad thing? If amnesty lets all of the “undocumented” population in our country live happy lives how can that be a bad thing? That is basically, in my mind, how Liberals portray their platform and emotionally it is hard to argue with that position; until you look at the numbers that is. The Liberals want to charge that we are a top heavy country and that the rich keep getting richer. I would submit that exactly the opposite is on the horizon. We will become a bottom heavy country with the entitlement class outnumbering the achievers. This will in turn cause a cascade of achievers to slide into the entitled masses. What is the incentive for someone to achieve and be successful if the failures in our country are the prime beneficiaries? That is how Socialism begins and it will fail as it always ultimately has.

The insurance issue which is a big one this year to me is another attempt at getting government involved in another part of our lives. It is about more government control and less private sector ability to allow competition and free markets to drive the cost of healthcare. Now I know, healthcare costs are out of control now so the question is how can we not do something. We can. Just not what is on the table. I believe the way forward is to deregulate insurance across state lines and allow all companies to compete for your business. If you believe in capitalism and I know some of you don’t, you put every one of the companies in the healthcare pool then prices come down or companies go out of business. That is called competition.

Let’s talk about the immigration issue a bit. This is another hot topic. I think every President, both Republican and Democrat has promised to do something. Well here we are now with little progress to show. This is a tough subject. I’ve heard the pros and the cons about why we should just allow all of the non-citizens to stay or we should deport them all. The emotions run high on both sides about this. I am a fundamental guy and look at things purely through the prism of law. The way our country has remained strong is because we have a system of laws that while not perfect has worked more times than it has not.

So the question is where does the law stand on immigration? It is actually quite clear and has never really changed. Each year we have in the neighborhood of a million people become citizens legally and that number continues to increase. That sounds like a lot and it is but look at how in 10 years there are a reported 98 million people that have entered this country through other than legal means. How does our country just allow these people to not only enter our country but make use of all of the entitlements that are maintained for citizens? I think it comes down to the same old reality and that is enforcement of laws on the books. If we can’t enforce the current laws then new laws will make no difference. What a slap in the face it must be to the millions of immigrants that earned citizenship legally to see what is going on now. Time to shore up the borders folks.

The welfare system is another issue that always surfaces. It is a self propagating system that was never intended to be income for so many but was in place as a hand up to ultimately return citizens to being a contributing member of society. It has failed miserably. It has become a way of life. There’s no shame in needing help. There is shame in taking advantage of that help with no intention of ever giving back to society. I don’t know how we ever reform welfare but it will bankrupt this country.

So those are some of the issues on my mind. You can chose the current President if you feel he has this country moving in a positive direction and is showing leadership with every move he makes or you can chose to change the direction of this country. Anyone who knows me at all knows where I stand. Is Romney perfect? Absolutely not. Is any candidate ever perfect? That said, however, I am looking to a President to uphold the constitution and respect it and not flaunt his own agenda regardless of whether that agenda is constitutional or not. I am looking for a President that has solutions and not just positions. I want a representative Republic not a Socialist state. I think government is too big and too intrusive and too powerful. Our liberties are slowly being taken away and it is because it is being done incrementally that many don’t even notice.

I realize many have made up their minds already. My hope is that when you pull that lever or punch away that hanging chad (God willing) you will be striking a vote that makes a statement about how you think this country should move forward.

Politics As Usual?

I find it amazing how making a proclamation about removing one’s self from politics on Facebook elicits such a response both negative and positive. Obviously many thought I was done spewing my drivel altogether and that could not be further from the truth. I just found Facebook to be a tiring tirade of one liners that ultimately got down to bad talking your opponent’s Grandmother. No good can come from it and I think Facebook is better off sticking to mindless games and humor.

So I thought I would talk about a couple things that have been on my mind. My very prolific writer cousin had some fascinating points in talking about the political atmosphere we find ourselves in. I may regurgitate some of them to his dismay but he’ll get over it.

My Son chimed in on one of his few political moments about how, and I’m paraphrasing, the system is basically broken and it doesn’t matter who’s in office it will be the same old politics. I actually have been thinking about his statement and he may be closer to the truth than any of the rest of us. While that is a truth I think you must dig a little deeper about our system. My wife reminded me that the President is only the figurehead and really the policies he promotes are often coming from pressures within his cabinet and party. I acknowledge that fact. I also think that my viewpoint should not just be directed at Obama for that reason and I’ve often said that the real problem with our country is Congress. This is a huge body of self-serving politicians that really don’t see any issues past their next re-election. Someone on Facebook told me that term limits is a cop out and that we elect our politicians and should be accountable for what we get. That’s a great theory. It’s not so much a reality anymore. I read a study where over 50% of the electorate now can barely tell you anything about who they are voting for. People are not informed and are voting from the last effective negative ad they see or hear. I think term limits are the appropriate check and balance to keep our politicians honest.

One of the most fascinating points I’ve been reading about is the facts that seem to be coming from all sides. Is it 8.9% unemployment or 14.1%? Just how much is Obamacare going to cost? How many illegal aliens are there in this country and if you can count them why can’t you take action on them? The numbers seem to fluctuate all over the map and they are even reset by the very people that make them, for instance the unemployment figures which are reset a week after they are released. Why not wait and release them when you actually know what they are? The larger question is DO you really know what they are? With the advent of the internet and all its fringe kooks that have come into play on both sides you have to be very careful about what sources you use.

Probably the one thing that concerns me the most in our country is how civil discourse has begun to degrade. Instead of debating ideologies it has now become digging for dirt and relentless character assassinations that seems to fuel the political fires. I know you can go back till the beginning of the political process in our country and find examples of nasty campaigns. The bigger problem these days is the more immediate impact these unfounded and many times slanderous accusations on both sides take root. Tell a lie long enough and it becomes the truth. I’m not sure how this gets fixed or even if it can get fixed but it is a real problem in our political arena these days.

You know our country has really prided itself and distinguished itself over the years for being an open political process that few other countries can match. I guess the issue at hand at this point is being able to accurately discern truth from fiction. I will continue to read and try and listen to all viewpoints in making my decisions but I know what my core principles and values are and those will guide me to make what I think are the right decisions. If you know what your core values and principles are and stick to them then you have done the best you can do.

This country is a huge ship to turn if it needs turning. I think the political process, while tedious and frustrating, was set up as to not be able to make drastic changes too quickly and in that way protect us from ourselves. So to those of you that say this will never change I say it can only change if you begin now to advance what you think should happen. It won’t happen overnight but if you don’t at least give it the full effort it will indeed never change.

A Dirty Word

Again I will begin an exercise in what some would consider futility but I enjoy. It is to examine words and their meanings. For this submission I am really going to focus in on one word because it is quickly vanishing from the vocabularies of so many. I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting for me to divulge the word so here it is: responsibility.

It is such an intimidating and weighty word and the definition is no less intimidating.
1.the state or fact of being responsible. 2.an instance of being responsible: The responsibility for this mess is yours! 3.a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible: the responsibilities of authority. 4.a person or thing for which one is responsible: A child is a responsibility to its parents. 5.reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.

You see I wasn’t kidding, this is serious stuff. So why has it become an endangered species among words in our society? My answer would be to you the same as why there are more divorces than ever….it’s hard and it takes work. I know I’ve harped on this in the past and I will continue to do so because this facet of our humanity is crumbling to the point that the buck never really stops anywhere anymore. No one person wants to shoulder the blame for anything these days. It’s why lawyers are doing so well even with the most frivolous of lawsuits. Everything and anything is now a potential lawsuit. That’s not to say that all lawsuits are wrong and in fact wrongful people get what’s coming to them almost every day. My point is we are losing our grip on common sense. If you buy coffee at McDonalds and you spill it in your lap then when does it become someone else’s fault? I believe the previous sentence started with two “yous” and therefore it likely should end with a “your”.

I think another area that has exploded is how many people are now on disability. I would propose to you that the reason for this is simply the inability of many to accept their own responsibility of their actions. That and also the fact that disability is easier to get simply because people making the judgments don’t want to be responsible for now granting these claims. See where I am going with this? It is an ugly spiral and we as Americans have a front row seat.

We are entering into an ugly political season now. Politicians are probably the worst for not accepting responsibility for mistakes because they deem it to be political suicide. By the way that fact goes for all sides of the aisle. I, for one, and quite probably I’m in a small minority, would find it refreshing to hear Romney say I screwed up in Massachusetts by putting his healthcare plan in place. I would love to hear Obama say I’ve really made a mess out of this healthcare plan and we should start over. It won’t happen. Both would consider it a sign of weakness but on the contrary I would consider it a sign of character.

So I guess my question is how do we break this cycle? It is far too rewarding for the lawyers and their clients. What happened to torte reform? That seems to have gone silent. I can tell you one reason. Most of our congressmen are lawyers so it would not be very self serving for that topic to surface and let’s face it politicians these days are all about serving themselves first! I think that is where it starts though.

The second and probably most critical way to create a change is by teaching our children personal responsibility. The hurdle with that idea is that we need to make parents actually be parents. (Again that’s the whole work thing) Parenting is not all fun and games. Sometimes it’s about teaching the hard lessons to your children so they are able to survive and flourish out in the cold world when they leave the nest. Your children will always have friends but they will only have two (hopefully) parents.

I could go on and on with this but whoever is still left reading this probably needs to get a life anyway. Hopefully I’ve given you a few points to ponder and think about.

Travel Notes

Writing for most people like me is a way of expressing my feelings and also a release sometimes in dealing with day to day frustrations. Often it is both. Actually it is usually both. I’ve done a bit of travelling in the recent past some for pleasure and some for family losses.

Travel in all of its forms is resplendent with good material. I don’t care if you are flying or driving there is no end to the frustrations that can surface. For me it usually centers on poor service or people with very little courtesy or common sense. It is hard to narrow down bad drivers and try to come up with one area of the U.S. that has the worst drivers but I think I’ve got my own opinions developed from driving over a good portion of this country. Florida you win. Put a turn signal on in Florida and you are basically a laughing stock. You want to change a lane….just do it. Red lights? They are only mere suggestions. Speed limit? What?? Where??? My area is not exempt from bad drivers as are most parts of the country, especially around metropolitan areas, but after driving in and living in for 5 years I might add, Florida is the winner. I actually felt relaxed driving in Raleigh coming home from Florida and that is a pretty scary thought on its own!

Let’s talk about flying a bit. Frankly as the TSA continues to clamp down on everyone flying is becoming about as inconvenient as driving and in some cases worse. So it may be about a 10 hour drive from here to Orlando. The flying time is about an hour and a half. Flying time that is. Now let’s add the time it takes to get to the airport; 30 minutes. Oh wait turning in the rental car; better give it an hour. God forbid actually checking in a bag instead of trying to cram a weeks worth of clothes into a carry on and then getting through the most heavenly experience of the security line. Better give that an hour. Oh and you need to be at least an hour early before the flight and most people shoot for two hours unless you are those 1 or 2 people who are hell-bent on holding up your plane and arriving within minutes of closing the hatch.

So now you are on the plane. This can be a real cornucopia of human experiences. I always seem to get someone that sounds as if they should be in an oxygen tent sitting right behind me seething out their glorious germs upon my already stressed body. I may as well just call in sick before the plane takes off. I know I’ve said this before but why are they telling people how to put on their seatbelts as they are taxiing down the runway? If someone just can’t understand how to work those suckers will they stop the plane or turn around and go make them get off? It seems that should be the very first briefing before the plane leaves. BY the way, if I ever need a flotation device I am going to grab the big zip lock baggie that the foreign guy took on the plane that had some sort of God awful smelling, indeterminate food in it that he felt he had to share with everyone else on the plane. I digress.

The next pleasurable experience flying is retrieving your bags. The baggage claim area has a kind of Las Vegas feel to it. As the bags begin to show themselves, which could easily add another 30 minutes of frustration to this experience, I seem to envision a roulette wheel as you are waiting for the ball to drop on your number. Then you finally beat the house and get your bags, usually looking like they were thrown 20 or 30 feet on the pavement, and then you need to either call a cab, or find your car and get away from the airport. I think you get my drift. Flying is not the fast and efficient experience it once was. I know…I know…we live in a different world.

So there we have it. Another installment or should I say indictment on travelling. I actually enjoy driving. (in most states) My wife; not so much. As I get older I may just stop moving altogether and my travel will consist of the recliner to the refrigerator to the bed, which incidentally my wife would say I have already perfected. Here’s hoping I got a chuckle out of you and by all means fly the “friendly” skies and good luck!

Death and Dying

A subject that has been visiting itself upon me more regularly, not to my liking, is death and dying. I understand as you get older, which some people like to point out, that the topic of mortality becomes more in the forefront but just the same it is a difficult issue for many to deal with and I am no different.

It becomes more clear to me as the years go by that this simply can not be all there is. Your life here is only temporary. That being said your life here has permanent impact on your next stage of life. I am a Christian therefore my belief is my next stage is with Jesus Christ. Am I a “saved” Christian? I was saved when I was baptized and to my way of thinking my life should be centered around the stark realization that I should live in a way to show thanks for that fact.

I don’t want to turn this into a religious discussion but as far as I’m concerned death should at its very core be a religious discussion. I am not naïve enough to know that there is a large faction of people out there in this world that are atheists and I am still confounded how you can live your life believing that it is a one and done kind of existence. What a truly depressing way to live.

I choose to not believe I am quite so important on this Earth and that my purpose in this life is to try and convince others that your real future as a Christian is not getting into the best retirement home or having the fattest bank account but to prepare yourself for the eventual meeting with your maker. If I am doing that, I am doing something far greater than earning 7.5% in my IRA (I know a pipedream).

Do I stand on the corner reading my bible to strangers? No but I find nothing wrong with that. The way you teach others is by example. It is not necessary to preach the word to everyone overtly but simply by living your life out as the best person you can be speaks volumes and might just turn a heart or two.

So lately I have seen a number of souls move on and none of them were preachers but they all lived their lives in a way, that although not perfect, displayed their belief that there was more on the other side. I salute them and am better for knowing each of them at some point in my life. When each of you eventually leave this life behind, I hope there is someone out there that can say the same about you because in my mind, if that’s the case, you lived a good life and yes even a Christian life.

Respect? Where has it gone?

It seems to becoming more evident to me than ever that generally speaking we are losing our way as a people in being respectful. I’m not trying to sound old fashioned but I’m going to anyway about this topic. I was raised to be respectful. That doesn’t mean you agree with anyone but it does mean you treat others as you would want to be treated. (the golden rule ain’t so golden anymore)

So I am curious as to why it appears, to me anyway, that generally speaking people are much less cordial and respectful. Again, although this appears to be an indictment of everyone it’s not really meant to be that at all but more so a trend I am seeing. I, in fact, try to not surround myself with people who are disrespectful so likely if you are reading this it doesn’t apply to you. (How’s that for a save?)

This also may be a phenomena taking place more regionally to me but people are fast becoming all about me in their approach to most anything. If you walk in a grocery store and let someone pass by you in an aisle you are an exception. Most people move through stores as if they are all alone and no one else matters. Drive any distance across our fruited plains and you will also see this displayed on the roads. Speed limits are basically ignored unless a blue and white is parked in the median. Turn signals are merely suggestions and typically about the only time you might get a smile or a wave on the roads from a stranger it is one of those special pieces of sign language that I decipher as being number 1.

I recently had an exchange online from an individual that is obviously an atheist and tried my very best to be respectful only to get disrespected, bashed and received a supersize plate of condescension. I don’t know this person and frankly don’t ever want to know him but he is evidence of just how people’s hearts seem to be turning.

I guess my quandary is not so much what I am observing but how it can be changed. Can it be changed? Is this the path we are headed down? What sort of future does this diminished respect have for us? Am I over-exaggerating? Am I just crazy? (OK, don’t answer the last question)

This may seem as though I am whining and there could be a little truth to that but I think there is more to it than that. I go out of my way to be respectful and considerate because I was raised that way and yet I see so many people throughout my day that do not show any of those traits. I will stay the coarse and do my best to continue to smile and be respectful (even at DMV) and I invite you all to do the same!

On April 15th, 2010 there was an event that perhaps did not shake the world or get high amounts of publicity but it shook and changed my world forever. My Dad passed away. You see he was not an ex-President or royalty or even a celebrity but he was indeed my hero and I can safely say was many others as well.

He was a man that although at times live a hard life, lived it with integrity and faith. You always knew that the two most important sides of this man were his family and his faith. He could be tough sometimes but he was always fair and he was generous on many occasions. He could fix anything and had very keen analytical skills. He was sharp as a tack and if you ever dared to go down the path of battling wits with him you better be ready to get your butt handed to you.

We were pretty diametrically opposed on matters of politics or at least that’s what he seemed to profess but the more I would talk to him one on one the more we agreed rather than disagreed. I think many times he just enjoyed throwing out the hook and snagging me in a discussion and it was more his enjoyment in getting a rise out of me. I would define him as a Kennedy Democrat.

I have some very special memories of this man especially later in life when he actually did seek out my council after the death of his wife. I had, unfortunately, some experience losing a spouse that way and I think we had some very poignant discussions that I will never forget.

I could fill a book with memories but I prefer to keep many in my heart alone. So you see this man, while not worldly famous, will never be forgotten by me and many more. Dad, you made me who I am, yes both the good and the mischievous part, and while we never verbalized this enough I am sure you knew I loved and admired you and I really look forward to the day I see you again……

Progress? Really???

Droids and 3D HD televisions and iPads oh my! While I manage a communications division of a company and deal with technology of many varying types I am still amazed how far technology has come in such a short time. I see it every day in my world but then when I get home and actually have time to consider the advancements that have been made it really is quite mind boggling.

Do you remember when flat screen TV’s were introduced how everyone was so amazed how this would revolutionize the TV industry? Even when they were coming on the market could anyone have known the continuous evolution that would happen? Do you know that in about 3 years it will be the 20 year anniversary of when the HD format was approved by the FCC? How about this fact; over 60 years ago the first color TV standard was approved? How about recording formats? We started with betamax introduced by Sony almost 40 years ago and went then to VHS, then DVD and now Blue Ray with other technologies not far off. Companies seem to spring into existence with every new technology and if they don’t stay cutting edge they are soon replaced with new companies.

I wonder if technology is actually growing too quickly for us to really get a hold off what is happening. In other words, I wonder if we aren’t setting ourselves up for our own demise by wanting to advance so quickly that we never really understand the ramifications. I’m sure Oppenheimer was made aware with great clarity after introducing a nuclear bomb as he stated the following quote from the Bhagavad Gita: "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”

I don’t profess to know any answers about the issues I raise. I am merely an observer of some of these issues on this spinning rock but it seems the older I get, the more I reflect on what has taken place and how what we do affects what is to become. I think as a society we are so wrapped up in how to improve everything that we never really sit back and appreciate anything and that to me is the saddest thing about all of our advancements. We simply don’t appreciate what went into every step to where we are now. It is my humble opinion that the term progress is an oxymoron. In my mind, if you don’t acknowledge and consider every step you took to get where you are now and only live in the moment you are completely missing out on what your life has meant. The old saying comes to mind life is not about the outcome so much as the journey.

So consider your life. Consider where you started out and all the trials and tribulations, all the successes and some of the failures and come to appreciate what the journey has been and not just how comfortable you are now. Your life is simply not measured, nor should it be, by where you are as you sit here and read this. It should be more than that. You must consider the sum of the parts. It is my hope that you come to this realization and learn to thank your God for not what is in your bank account at this moment (although some might have a problem thanking him for that) but more so thanking your God for every breath you’ve taken and every day that has made up your life.

Remember When???

Remember When

I have been waxing nostalgic lately and thought I would assemble some remember one liners about the past so here goes.

Remember when people were just thankful to have a job?

Remember when penny candy was a penny?

Remember when there was no such thing as a microwave?

Remember when you shared a phone line with multiple neighbors?

Remember when the only car phone was on the Jetsons?

Remember when if you had one car in your family you were pretty fortunate?

Remember when you walked to school? (And safety was never questioned)

Remember when TV dinners went into the oven and were covered with tin foil?

Remember when kids were in more trouble at home when getting in trouble at school?

Remember when Ridalin didn’t exist? (and somehow kids survived)

Remember when you respected your elders?

Remember when organic food was just food?

Remember when your Dad’s video camera had a light tree that looked like something out of Yankee Stadium?

Remember when you had maybe 3 TV stations to choose from depending on how your antenna was faced?

Remember when record albums were really albums.

Remember when a hotdog was just a hotdog? (And we didn’t care)

Remember when kids played outdoors and LOVED it!

OK, that’s it for the moment…..feel free to add your own.

Union Vs. Marriage

This is a topic that sends many running for cover. It is an emotional issue and although viewpoints tend to be very polarizing, I don’t feel like it should be ignored. The topic is gay unions.

I know the arguments on both sides. Some would also say I am arguing semantics and if you feel that way there’s not much use in reading on because I don’t think of it simply as that. You have two words that seem to be the crux of the controversy; marriage and union. Some would say there’s no difference. I would say there’s a hugs difference. You see I have a faith background that has taught me that the bible is the word of God and that fact alone makes me understand that marriage is a sacrament, a sacred bond between a man and a woman. If you believe you are a Christian and you hold the bible to be the ultimate law then you can not deny this. If you do deny this fact then you hold man’s beliefs and culture to be the supreme law.

This is not an indictment against homosexuality. That really is a different discussion altogether. This is taking a sacred event and calling it whatever you want to satisfy human emotions and so called progressive culture.

I think this discussion is really a reflection of what is happening to our world and what is happening to people of faith. We do not define God’s laws as much as we would like to do that. In other words you either live under a set of rules and laws or you make them up as you go just to make life easier for everyone.

As far as the term civil union I do think that is an appropriate description of what it is gays are involved with. That does not discount their love for each other but merely defines what their bond is. I don’t believe they should be denied the legal aspects of what marriage provides but to call it a marriage in my mind is not correct.

So I know I’ve ticked off about half of the people that read my drivel because this topic has split society. I can hear many saying so what’s the big deal? To me it is a big deal specifically because to me God’s word is a big deal.

I don’t pretend to know all the answers but I do know what I believe and as distasteful as it is to some whom would rather I just shut up and go along I will share my opinion. The one really great thing left in our country (at least as this time) is that we are free to express our thoughts without fear of retribution. That could be changing but for now it still exists and as long as it does you will have to suffer through my thoughts.

Pain......

Pain. Not a word that evokes positive feelings. I have been thinking, ok enough head shaking, and I have decided that the main problem with our society is that everyone will do anything possible to avoid pain. Pain is a part of life. Without some type of pain you have no way to judge triumph.

I say this not because I want myself or anyone I care about to deal with pain. I say it because I know that it is inevitable and the way we succeed is by overcoming pain and learning from pain not by avoiding it altogether. Everyone knows the adage that he (or she to be pc) who doesn’t learn from the past is doomed to repeat it. One more saying is the definition of insanity is to repeat an action over and over expecting different results. Think about it….how many times does the average person break their right leg in a lifetime? I’m thinking that most people (Evel Knievel excluded) that do it once learn from the pain.

Now that is the most overt and obvious kind of pain. There are others much more subtle and I would suggest that in many ways the most damaging. We are now living amongst a growing number of humans that think pain should not be a part of life. There can be no winners and losers. Everyone should be a winner. Once that notion takes hold than really mediocrity is born. Why would anyone give extra effort to be better if there was no reward? Losing isn’t fun. It never was meant to be. Losing is a part of learning how to win. To be fair, I have been accused, and rightly so, of being too competitive. If you grow up in a little larger family you better learn to be competitive. Some learn better than others. They generally tend to win more. Have I learned from all of my mistakes? God no but if I do repeat a mistake who can I blame for the outcome? George Bush? OK not gonna do it……..(little George Bush impression there).

I have always had a problem with some of the games played by our very young crumb crunchers in where there are no winners or losers to protect their self esteem. I would suggest that you teach a child how to be a winner and their self esteem will be much more genuine and teach a child how to deal with losing and their self esteem will also be more honest. By the way I also am against outcome based education…..I don’t care how you add it up but if you tell a child 1 plus 1 equals 3 you are setting them up for failure. Life is not about feeling good all the time about yourself. If you really want to feel good about yourself learn something new and yes even learning something new can be a lesson from some sort of pain.

That’s my sermon today. You can live your life trying to avoid pain….or you can be even more successful by learning from mistakes…..and yes pain.

2012

So it’s a brand new year. 2012 is upon us and now everyone usually attempts to take stock in what they need to change. Most don’t succeed in changing anything but at least I suppose they recognize what changes they should make. Some make valiant attempts to make changes that sometimes last a month or two. I guess I fall in the some category most of the time….does that make sense? Why am I asking you? It’s not as if I’m going to get an answer. Who am I talking to anyway?

OK so back to the topic; New Year’s resolutions. I wonder when they started to become fashionable. I did a little research but found little in the way of historical data about the origins of New Year’s resolutions however it certainly sounds like something our so called progressive culture has adopted. Here are the five steps listed to making successful resolutions:

1. Make it specific.
2. Make it realistic.
3. Make it known.
4. Make it measurable by time.
5. Make it fun and rewarding.

These sound like reasonable steps. It would seem that if you follow these guidelines you can achieve your resolutions. My fundamental problem is after reading and re-reading these steps I pretty much have decided I will fail. I’m sorry, that may not be completely true, but that sure looks like a lot of work. One interesting tidbit I read was that people who have had success in the past at sticking to resolutions have about an 80% chance of repeating their success. One thing that concerns me about that fact is I can’t even REMEMBER what last year’s resolutions were. That doesn’t seem to bode well at my success this year.

So I must look at the usual list of suspects in my resolutionary quest. (New word there….kind of slick don’t you think?) There I go again asking questions to no one. The list is weight loss, drink less coffee, exercise more, fix basically everything on our house and oh did I mention weight loss? I am anticipating with great disdain the onslaught of fitness center commercials as well as weight loss miracle pill commercials. If you have it and there is a pill for it, it would seem many Americans will buy it. I have a weight loss pill I want to market. It is a pill you hold between your teeth that takes about 10 hours to dissolve. That should just about do it. The drink less coffee resolution should not be as difficult although I did get one of those K Cup machines for Christmas and it is great so that may put the Kibosh on the whole coffee reduction. Exercise more and weight loss kind of dovetail so although I haven’t been as successful in the past I really am looking at and incidentally, have made a few changes even in 2011. The house…..ah yes the house. Well it is a work in progress and will be for some time. To call this a resolution is really a misrepresentation. It should be more a shuffling of priorities. It is not something I should try to change ……more so something I absolutely MUST work on.

I am now officially done talking about this. My fervent hope is that all of you who read this do indeed have a successful 2012 and if that includes making some changes that you can stick with and live by you are likely ahead of 90% of the rest of us!