Family

For some reason, which I am always unsure of, I felt a need to write about one topic that seems to have really changed over the years. I am speaking about the word “family”. Not that many decades ago the term family and blood were interchangeable. Family is now not so well defined. Is this a bad thing or good thing? I don’t think it’s either but some families are blatantly dysfunctional while others preserve a tight bond. Then there is the family such as mine that falls somewhere in the middle. (Perhaps leaning towards the dysfunctional) I am still connected with most of my family and have an extended family of many beautiful Grandchildren as well as a daughter, two sons, a step son and cousins as far as the eye can see…and then some.

Now my family has had more than its share of drama over the years and I’ve experienced about as many types of losses there are in a family; some in my control, some not. I don’t say this to garner any sympathy but just to state that loss is not unfamiliar to me.

But the entire dynamic of a family is being re-adjudicated in our lifetime. What used to be Grandparents, Fathers, Mothers, Sons and Daughters making up the immediate family is now not so well defined. Another thing about past families is where I grew up and no matter what the religious affiliation; God of some kind was usually a guiding force. This is slowly and maybe in some circles quickly changing. The world’s commercialism has finally begun to take its toll. Christmas for many children is about presents and candy. When I grew up, Christmas was certainly about Santa Claus but there was also this birthday we were celebrating….the Son of God. No matter how much we enjoyed the presents and the candy and everything else about the commercial side, we were frequently reminded why Christmas existed. That has fallen by the wayside and that is a travesty that will reap negative benefits for years to come.

I wonder how many people take a few minutes to ponder what their family dynamic really is and how it has affected their lives. I have more cousins than you can shake a stick at and have been woefully inadequate staying in touch. I take full responsibility. We all get so swept up in our daily lives that we tend to push off what should be a priority because in the end we are left with family and our God. If you only have one or neither than your life will end, in my humble opinion, on a lonely note.

I think everyone should take a step back and try to reconnect to family. I know there are relationships too divided by circumstances but in many cases we have just lost touch. I am going to take a look at that myself. You can procrastinate about this but in the end you will be the one who suffers. Something to think about…..

People Just Can't Hit The Delete Key Everytime!

I like many people these days, am trying to come to terms with the more and more prevalent violence taking place everywhere. My wife and I talked about it as we often do and her insights are always enlightening to me. We both agree that it is definitely related to a society that is becoming so disconnected both on a human level and definitely on an emotional level.

This goes deeper than the availability of guns. Many are ready to just jump on the gun control bandwagon and make that the root of our problem. Gun control will not stop these people who are utterly disconnected from society to not continue to hurt people. I’ve maintained for some time that this is problem goes far deeper than the simple use of a gun or knife or fist. Those things are a means to an end and what must be addressed is how to change the tracks of these people who are only looking for that grimmest of ends.

My theory will be dismissed by many as being simplistic and unrealistic and I frankly don’t care. Get your own blog and submit your own theory. One of our problems is the direction we have veered where God is dismissed, morals are thrown out as being judgments man cannot make about another man and we are so intent of not offending anyone that we now pretty much offend everyone. You can also look at the media outlets either glorifying murder or indecent behavior becoming the norm. Many kids these days (and too many adults) have no human connection and only use these media outlets to guide their behavior. We are fast becoming so disconnected with other people that the value of life itself is diminishing and when that happens to the most troubled in our society the outcome are these heinous acts of multiple murders that seem to be on the rise.

Let’s forget for a moment the type of weapon being used in any of these mass murders and look at the person holding the gun. I’m sorry but that is where the root of the problem exists. Until that very basic premise is understood things will not change in fact get worse. What is driving these people to do the things they do? Why do they feel their only recourse is to kill people? What happens to a person when the taking of life is deemed an acceptable action of behavior? We better determine this disconnect in human behavior because unless that gets addressed things will continue to decline.

So now let me start to get the head shakers going. All I need to say is one word for so many to shut down and that is God. OK, now that I have shed the head shakers, and you know who you are, let’s think about this. There is a, larger than we would like to even believe, faction in our society determined to remove God from every facet of our lives. From our schools to our government buildings and even many public places people don’t want the almighty infringing on their behaviors. It astounds me when once a major tragedy occurs those people are the first to ask “Where was God here?” My answer would not waiver; it would be right were you left him…..behind.

Now I realize there’s more to what is going on than the lack of God but I also believe that the simple foundation that the majority once had in a power higher than each one of us has slowly disintegrated to the point now that many think this life is all there is and there are no consequences for anything anyone does in this life. That is both sad and scary to me.

I leave you to ponder this. I don’t have any quick answers. I personally wouldn’t mind if televisions disappeared in our lives but I know that’s not going to happen. I just know that somehow people are going to have to start connecting with people on a face to face level again. Once that starts to occur than perhaps our children will understand that a simple delete key is not the answer to their problems.

Happy Birthday To My BEST Friend

So tomorrow marks a special day for my best friend. It is a birthday that while is a milestone I will keep that between us. This person who came into my life back in 1999 really saved me. I was personally somewhat lost and confused after going through a tragedy that left me questioning how the rest of my life would unfold. My faith in God never once wavered through the difficult times and, frankly, kept me together when all other parts of my life worked against it.

I kept trudging through my days trying to determine how best I could be a good Dad all the while being pretty frightened and uneasy about being a single Dad but that would not stop me from doing the best I could for my little girl. Then one day this angel appeared from out in cyberspace. I didn’t know it was an angel immediately but I certainly knew it very soon and am now thankful for every day I have with this angel.

If you haven’t figured out who I am speaking of well you may not know me that well. Tomorrow is a birthday for my best friend in all of this world and not only have I never looked back after saying I do to her I have done quite the opposite and look forward to growing old with this special woman. It is one thing to have a significant other but I have my best friend, lover, crazy companion and lifetime partner all rolled up into one 5’2” fireball. ( I gave her a few extra fractions that I know she will appreciate)

We are now in the middle of a most special and exciting process that we won’t make public until the right time but we will proceed through together just as we have done since that wonderful day back in 1999 when I knew I had met the lady I wanted to spend the rest of my God given years with. Happy birthday Linda and I love you.

The Thing or Not The Thing....THAT is The Question

Along with many, I have been following the whole gun control issue. This post is not specifically about gun control but more about where I see the fallacy of this whole argument and how it relates to many issues of the day.

Where I see the disconnect is on an emotional level. No one wants violence to visit them or anyone else but what exactly is being accomplished when instead of looking at the behavior you look at the thing? I think government is becoming far too intrusive in our daily lives. I don’t believe the founders ever had the intent of letting government run our lives and in fact the design of our democratically elected government was specifically laid out to protect us from tyranny. But more and more you see the federal government trying to tell us what to eat and not eat; what to drive and not drive; what to drink and what not to drink. Unfortunately, the methods of controlling these behaviors are directed at the items, be they big gulps, guns or big macs.

You see, I think it is the whole wrong approach but is a seemingly expedient and thoughtful approach. It is an easy solution to say, ok, if I don’t want people to drink a 22 oz. soft drink than I will just do away with the 22 oz. soft drink. Is this fixing the problem? Does anyone who thinks about this on an intellectual level really think this fixes the problem? The problem is not the thing but the behavior. This can be translated to most everything in society these days. The real problem is related to something I’ve spoken about often and it is that what many seem to see as a fix being the easy, dismissive, feel-good way to solve the issue at hand and that is to eliminate the thing. That being said, we have not fixed the real problem. People have a way, these days, of substituting things with new things. So the behavior continues but just with a different thing.

I don’t know how we fix this. I don’t even know IF we can fix this. It seems to be an unending wagon train of things being taken from us while the crafty sort of beings we are find things to replace those things. I think as long as there are more people who think that the way we fix certain flaws in our character is by removing the things that cause the flaws then we will never see it change. Until people finally accept that changing problems in this society start with changing the behaviors this will continue on well past my life.

The Meaning of Success

So as I sometimes like to do I looked up the definition of the word success. Here it is via the oxford dictionary:

Definition of success

noun • the accomplishment of an aim or purpose:the president had some success in restoring confidence • the attainment of popularity or profit:the success of his play • a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity:I must make a success of my business • archaic the outcome of an undertaking, specified as achieving or failing to achieve its aims:the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises

The reason this particular word seems to interest me is that so many people that seem anti-profit or that deem profit as a bad thing might want to look this up for themselves. As far back as the mid-16th century profit was actually linked to the word success. I also noted that nowhere I looked in the definition did I find the word happy. Happiness is not linked to profit; however, profit is all over it. So it begs the question; Is profit a bad thing or a good thing? The answer to that may also be linked to the question are you a capitalist or a socialist? If you truly believe in capitalism then profit is not a bad thing and indeed the end game.

It seems a bit hypocritical for so many to be anti-profit now and yet if they were to look at the comforts they enjoy, those comforts would be impossible enjoying without achieving some sort of profit. It really boils down to the fact that so many, and I’m guilty at times, look at others and fail to look in the mirror. So many are quick to criticize the wealthy and profitable as evil. Not that long ago wealth was actually a positive thing that showed a person or company was successful. I think socialism is creeping into our society now where being successful is deemed the same thing as being greedy and therefore must be an achievement on the backs of the poor and oppressed.

I’m not sure how this attitude gets turned around and I fear we will continue to drift in that direction. There are too many in our society now with their hands out who have the expectation that things should be handed over to them in the name of social justice. I think we have created this situation by our own hand. Technology has made everything so instant and easy that it is now translating to everything in life. If it is now not quick and easy than it must be unjust. It is a sad state of affairs. Work is now the new four letter word.

I just thought I would share these thoughts. I may be getting old and cranky but it is how I see things moving and I see real difficulty changing these attitudes. I will now go and pray I am wrong.

Dad...Even after Three Years....

Dear Dad, Well it’s been over three years now since you went to your glory. You would think that by now I would be comfortable just knowing that. You would think it…but you would be wrong. You see, everything I do I seem to measure to your standards. If something funny happens I think about how you would have reacted. It something goes wrong or is a challenge I think of how you would have handled it. So you are never far from me and in fact I pretty regularly blame my mischievousness on you and I don’t think I’m far off the mark.

So occasionally I grapple with how to come to terms with the loss of your wisdom and wit even after three years. Marlee went and visited you yesterday. She took a picture and the place still looks good and you would be generally happy with where you are resting. I, on the other hand, only needed to see the picture to send me into a short period of grief once again. But I’m OK now. I am making a pact with myself to instead of being sorry for my loss to be grateful for what I have gained. Your passing to the next world is now the gain for our God and in time I will see you again. You are not the only person that I have loved that you are now reunited with in glory and in the Lord’s good time and plan I will see you all again.

I’m not even sure why I had to write this but I did. The blessings I have in this life are simply too many to list. I know you are part of the reason I have achieved what I have achieved. There are few words that can adequately express my thanks. Perhaps the way I live out the rest of my years will be that thanks. So Dad, thank you once again for all you gave me and for all I have gained from your wisdom. I still miss you as if you left yesterday and you will live on in me for as long as God plans for me to be on this Earth. Finally the three words that Boureys swear off…at least many Bourey boys…..I love you.

A Special Soul Named Beverley

There are people that come into your life and go and leave an impression and there are people that leave little impression. Then once in a while there’s a person that comes into your life and leaves a life-long and indelible impression. This is about someone that easily fits in the latter category.


Her name is Beverley. You only needed to meet this lady one time to understand why everyone loved her. She was a Christian, make no mistake, and would be happy to tell you if you dared ask, but she was also a lot of other things. She truly would be the life of any party that you were fortunate enough to have included her in and trust me you would be fortunate. She was full of life and could make anyone who talked with her light up with that same spirit. Her cooking was one of her gifts that she loved to share and was beyond generous in doing it.


Beverley also loved children. I think that this had a lot to do with her childlike spirit and mischievous nature that children could not only identify with but gravitate towards. She served children through our parochial school for almost 40 years. That amount of years alone should tell you this lady was special. She was dedicated and loyal and anyone fortunate to have known her for any length of time was better for it. She loved everyone and everyone loved her.


So Beverley has gone on to glory. My guess is she is running the kitchen up there and also planning the dinner parties. Heaven truly has received a special soul. I write this short article not to give you Beverley’s life story but to honor her the best way I know how. I’m certain a full novel could be written about Beverley’s life’s adventures.


If after a full and fruitful life it can be said you were loved by all that knew you and left this undeniable mark on in this world then I think that is really the highest form of being a Christian. We will miss you Beverley….I will miss you….and look forward to being once again by your side at the eternal banquet.

Still Alive and Writing

It has been quite a spell since my last writing partly because I have been busy looking for gainful employment and partly because life has just been crazy. I also needed a break from doing this for a bit but as long as I enjoy writing I will continue to do so.

I am still working on finding work. It is a full time effort and with our current economic climate that some politicians love to call a recovery I have found it a competitive and trying experience. I promise not to make this entry full of whining about my own situation because I have too much in my life to thankful for and it seems petty to stay on that subject.

My brother recently had an unplanned event of receiving a triple bypass surgery. He came through it well and has a challenging road ahead with respect to lifestyle changes but at least he HAS a road ahead. I spent a week in winter wonder land and tried to just be helpful when I could be and get out of the way when that was called for and hopefully I successfully was able to distinguish the two scenarios. As I said goodbye it occurred to me that the Bourey boys are taking right after their Dad….shake hands and say thanks and I’ll see ya next time. It’s just not in our DNA to express too much in the way of feelings but the beauty of it is we both know how we feel about each other and that’s what counts. The prayers and support from not only my family and friends and church family but Linda’s Methodist family as well were overwhelming. This whole event was evidence once again that life is what happens while you are making other plans. So I know I speak for my “older” brother when I say thank you for everything you have done to support him.

So while I promised to not overdo the employment subject I need to say a little about it. First, my lady has been nothing but supportive of my efforts and patient about the process, probably more patient than me. I know this likely goes without saying but job searching is an arduous and tiring process and without my support structure in place would literally be unbearable. I am faithful that the right opportunity will present itself as long as I continue to persevere.

I am not going to get too political today because frankly there is too much material and I would not know where to begin. I do continue to feel dread about this economy and about our Government’s continued efforts to be in control of everything possible in our lives. I will speak more on this in upcoming posts but for now I must dive, once again, back into the job boards.

To close, I wish for everyone who reads this to have a blessed Easter and I hope you come just a little closer to our Lord if just for Easter Sunday. Your body will come to an end…..but your soul still has a chance.