What's Wrong With People?

This is almost a regular diatribe for me but I feel the need to regurgitate on this subject. I have simply one question to ask and one question only; What in the world is wrong with people?

OK, perhaps I should explain. I drive my share of miles but it never ceases to amaze me how much everyone is in a hurry these days. It is especially evident when you approach most any city. People drive with no regard to anyone else on the road. It’s all about me these days.

I got on the road, for instance, this morning heading for church. I do near the speed limit most times. Its Sunday morning….should be a somewhat calm and peaceful day. Should be is the operative phrase. People fly by me sometimes from both sides as if I am crawling and this does not favor any real demographic. It runs the gamut from tricked out little rice rockets to minivans filled with kids. What is wrong with people? When did everyone’s own agendas outweigh public regard or safety? What does it say about parents that drive that way with vans full of young crumb crunchers? Oh and this would be the same group of people suing a manufacturer for sticky accelerator pedals. If you weren’t doing 95 miles per hour in the first place you might have been able to stop!

I’m sorry but someone needs to explain to me how everyone has just gone crazy on the roads. I would also venture a guess that at least 50% of whoever dares read this is also guilty of the same thing. I truly need it explained to me. I know that most every community’s budget deficits could be resolved if police would just start camping out on the roads I drive on. There simply is no justification for the maniacal behaviors exhibited on our roads these days.

When did traffic laws become suggestions? That little stick on the left side of your steering wheels has some great little mass notification features. I invite everyone to explore it. As an aside, I guess police cars don’t get those little sticks. Perhaps budget cuts did away with that option on their cruisers. One little thing about those sticks….using them is not permission to cut me off.

So there it is. I try to handle my road rage in this way; Venting to my loyal reader(s). I invite you all to slow down just a bit, perhaps enjoy some of your favorite music and keep everyone’s insurance rates down just a bit more. Happy trails……

Flying...still an enigma

So I recently flew to Dallas for a couple days of a hugely rewarding and highly informative security conference. Flying is such a conglomeration of human fascinations to me these days. I thought I would share some of the things I find fascinating about flying.

We have all heard the instructions as we are about to take off, from the flight attendant or have we? Most people are busy trying to get that last urgent phone call or text in before they inadvertently bring the plane down. Some people already have the headphones on…the ones that eliminate extraneous sound….wouldn’t want to know about that oxygen mask. The other thing I find curious about the instructions is how they instruct you in fastening your seatbelt. So they are instructing me on how to use the seatbelt AFTER they have made sure everyone had their seatbelt fastened. Am I the only one who finds this curious? One more thing that comes to mind….how many crash scenes have you every seen pictures of with half of the passengers clinging to their seat cushions….because as everyone knows you may use your seat cushions as a flotation device. Let me change the question….Have you seen ONE passenger ever clinging to said flotation device?

Once they get us in the air and everyone is educated about the emergency exits they must orderly use in case of a crash, how to use the oxygen masks (cups really) how to detach and use the seat cushions in case of a water landing (hideous crash) and how damaging the smoke detectors in restrooms is a felony or something of that nature they then serve the alcohol. Sounds like a recipe for success don’t you think? By the way, are there smoke detectors anywhere but just the bathrooms? I sure hope so because by the time the smoke was to permeate the bathrooms I should think we would all be clinging to our seat cushions.

Now we’ve been up for a couple hours of indiscriminate jostling and babies crying and Ipods screeching and little Indian guys eating their very pungent four course meals right next to me not to mention several alcohol induced outbursts and it’s time to drop to a controlled landing on something other than water or pastures. It’s time to put everything away…put your seat back trays locked away….put your seatbacks in their upright position; that’s another detail that bugs me…why can’t I land in a relaxed position? Is their some grand reason we all must be sitting up? Anyway, as we touch down, usually a filling loosening thud, you can almost feel the tension rise as people prepare to figure out a way to body surf over the other passengers right off the plane. Alcohol also lends itself well to planning that project.

Then to complete the leisurely process of flying there is that mad dash to get your luggage, followed by about an hour wait for the luggage to start crawling up the conveyor belt. Then there are only about 200 black bags and God help you if you didn’t do the ribbon thing cause it could take another hour of searching bags for yours. One note, everyone is doing the ribbon thing now so you better have a unique ribbon! Then there’s the leisurely stroll through about a 4 mile terminal until you get to an immense parking deck in which your car is usually at the furthest point from the entrance. I think John Madden is absolutely right about taking a bus everywhere he goes (ok it is a private bus) as flying has become such a sea of human suffering that you either need to laugh about it or cry. As for me, I will try to continue to laugh until I can afford my own private bus.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Well it’s your birthday today and I wish I could celebrate that fact with you but instead I am left with many numerous and wonderful memories. In years past, Linda and I would have performed the very difficult task of trying to figure out what to send you for your special day. Not this year and what I wouldn’t give for another chance.

I’m not sure if you would be disappointed in me or upset with me but I still miss you as if you passed yesterday. Everyone tells me it will get easier. Everyone tells me to give it more time. While I know this to be true it’s not what I really want to hear. The worst part is there really isn’t anything anyone can say that will make this easier. The years march on whether we like it or not and our mortality eventually becomes a realization. Knowledge of that fact is of little comfort even now.

What I have learned over the years and in my various losses of loved ones are there really never seems to be enough time. Never enough time to say I love you one more time. Never enough time to see just one more smile or hear one more “my aching back”. Never enough time to enjoy one more dinner at Mainly Lobster or a michigan at McSweeney’s. So instead we are left with our memories and they will have to suffice but right now….at this very moment….I find even the memories to not be enough. I feel weak Dad. I feel like I need to draw on an inner strength that at this moment escapes me. So I will pray….and pray some more for my God to supply me with that needed strength.

I will never forget our long talks about everything under the sun. I will never forget my counseling you, of all things, when you lost Daisy. As much as we disagreed on politics how I wish I could be in an engaging conversation about this President with you. I would give anything to be sitting beside you watching your beloved Yankees just one more time.

I want to thank you Dad. You supplied me with a foundation to my faith. You gave me an example to follow and a hero to admire. You taught me right from wrong even though I didn’t always get that right every time. You taught me to find wit and humor in any situation. You taught me to stand by my convictions even when I stood alone. You taught me how to blow a pretty fair horn. So even though you were no more perfect than any of us you made me want to aspire to try and measure up to you and I continue that mission still today. You have left some big shoes to fill and I may never fill them but I will never stop trying.

I know you are already growing impatient with me getting all emotional and nostalgic so I will close this letter. Dad, I never really said this enough to you but I love you. You knew it…I knew it…and for us that was enough. But I wish I could tell you right now in person one more time. So this will have to do. I know I will see you again….not sure when that will be…..but that very fact will sustain me and one day….in the future….I will see you face to face….and will tell you once more…..I love you.

Pete

The Journey Continues......

Life can be filled with so many twists and turns it sometimes is a challenging ride to stay on. Through my years on the planet I have been reminded of this many times. I personally have had quite a few challenges this year. The passing of my Dad still seems to occupy my mind most even though I have other significant challenges to deal with. My wife, God bless her, still reminds me it hasn’t been that long since he passed and I will still have more difficult milestones to get by and while I know this to be true I am still frustrated that I can’t seem to overcome the grip it has on me some days. I still have much to accomplish and the grief seems to really, at times, sidetrack me to the point of not taking care of my priorities.

It may sound as if I am saying I’m lost and can’t find my way but that’s not really the issue. It’s a troubling place to be where you really CAN see the forest for the trees but can’t seem to direct yourself through the forest. So, for now, I muddle on trying to figure my way through this. I keep wanting to call and talk to my Dad….so I do talk to him….but now it’s through a different conduit. I really miss the old method.

I feel a little guilty staying on this topic in my writing but as I said my Dad still dominates my thoughts so I suppose it is natural that he would dominate my writing. My family, as spread out and fractured as it may be, seems to be a ship without a captain now. I guess it is becoming now an armada instead of one ship and the captains all are navigating their own ships. I miss the old captain. He always seemed to know the right passage to steer through. I must take hold of the wheel now and steer my own ship hoping that my old captain taught me well. OK….that is way too many metaphors and if you are wondering I am completely sober and drug free and all of this literary magnificence just seems to flow.

That’s another personality trait my dear Dad imparted upon me…to use humor to diffuse other emotions. Laughter, after all, is much more appealing than tears and tears are just not the Bourey way. (Right Dad?)

So my journey through this continues and as long as you can tolerate it you can ride along with me. If any of you who manage to read this has not lost a parent perhaps it will help you when the time comes. What continues to save me is knowing I have so much more to be thankful for than I do to grieve for. I thank God every day for not what I have lost but for what I have gained. My new favorite quote is life is not about fearing the storms, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. When I do dance…..it will be to the sweet sounds of my favorite trumpeter.

Old Friendships

Do you remember high school? I mean do you really remember? Do you remember those close friendships you had at that point in your life that you felt could never be broken or impaired? I do. One of the things in my life that I regret, and yes I know regrets are a waste of good energy, but I regret this just the same; losing contact with close friends.

Now I realize we all can now use Facebook and other social network sites to catch up. Is that really the same thing? I would submit that it is not even close. I even have who I would consider to be my closest lifelong friend not an hour away and I have fallen woefully short of keeping up with this man. I need to change that. Life does have a way of weaving us on a path that we most likely didn’t plan or anticipate and in many cases our friendships take a beating for that. My life has certainly thrown me my share of curveballs but to be fair some of those curveballs were my own pitches.

We all have our own stories about how we drifted from our early friendships and I would be willing to surmise that every story is different. I had friends in my high school years that I spent so much time with I can not believe we didn’t stay in touch. There are phrases from my past and adventures as well that I could in no way explain to many now who would appreciate or understand. With these friends all I would have to say is “Helllo!!!! Who EEES IT??!!” and we could laugh for hours….ok minutes about it and not have to explain. I have friends who remember ice skating on lakes…tobogganing into trees and the list goes on and on….and yet we have lost touch. I know the old phrase about never being able to go “home” again. I suppose that is a good characterization of our past friendships. They will never be quite the same.

I’m not really sure what has made me ponder this tonight. Perhaps with the passing of my Dad a few months ago I am longing for the past a bit. The pain of my Dad’s passing is still pretty fresh although I am coping better now than I was. Perhaps the transition that has taken place in my family magnifies the transition of many aspects of our lives over time. I’ve never dealt well with transition and I’m afraid this has been no different. Yes I realize everyone goes through this but what is equally true is everyone goes through it their own way and I don’t think there is a right way.

So I am making a pact to get up with my old Grand Way buddy….I hope he reads this and has the same sentiments. Think about one of your closest friends in high school…ok Jim you may not be able to remember so you are exempt….but seriously think about that friend and call them and say hello. Close your Facebook and have a real conversation. Friendships may never be the same….but perhaps if we treat them as we once did they can still be just as rewarding.

Hodgepodge

I haven’t written a lot in a while probably because when I come home from my office the last thing I feel like doing is thinking! But recent events and my propensity for political rants has got me bubbling over.

My first topic is our illegal immigrant policy; or should I say lack thereof? Our President recently stated that our borders are now more secure than they have ever been. Was that some kind of a joke? Are you kidding me? If you think that the 1200 additional National Guard troops will make a dent in this you are living in another time continuum. Of the 1200 troops sent a little over 500 are being delegated to the almost 2000 mile border of Arizona. So that’s one person for every 4 miles…..there you have it. We have the resources to make our borders secure but no one in government has the kiwis to make it so. Might this be that perhaps certain people in our government are looking for some affirmative votes in upcoming elections? What a cynical question to ask; I won’t answer it but I invite you to stay tuned to the amnesty debacle that will be taking place soon in a country near you.

North Carolina is tackling the very controversial bill about making talking on a cell phone illegal in your car. Even my sweet wife says this type of law will really have no impact on the problem. I am certainly not one to invite even more government intrusion in our lives. Still though, I wonder if this falls into that simple category. It is, on the surface, more government intrusion. The issue here though is public safety and from what I see on our state highways, cell phones are an absolute hazard. I watch people every day making wild, nonsensical maneuvers while they are engrossed in some conversation and then they look up at you like you are an idiot. Those people should not only not be allowed to talk on a cell phone in their cars but they should have them taken away permanently. I don’t want our wonderful non-representative government telling me what I can do or cannot do; however, I don’t want Joe Geek plowing head on into me while talking about the usefulness of quotation marks in his excel spreadsheet. So this one is a tough call.

Lastly, this is more an observation than an opinion although with me it’s sometimes difficult to make the distinction. I am just fascinated by watching these economic “experts” give their opinions about our economy. They have all pretty much proven to be as successful as the weatherman predicting our hurricane season. It’s as if they are all using completely different sets of information to arrive at our doom and gloom. It would appear that forecasting the economy is not at all a science but an art. I guess my comment here is their should be a disclaimer before any of those pointy headed experts speak of the economy stating that this is merely an interpretation based on fictional facts.

I don’t know when my next literary compost pile will appear. Sometimes I think I just write these to myself for my own pleasure. I do find that when I begin to write I can’t type as fast as my brain can think and often I find myself frustrated that my memory is so short that by the time I’ve written a thought I forget the thought that just popped in my circuitry that seemed more relevant. I know; it sounds like a personal problem. The good thing about a blog is you all have the ability and right to just hit the X…..

Father's Day Message

After being a Dad of some form or another for many years now I feel somewhat qualified to speak on the subject. So here goes my little diatribe in regards to being a Dad.

Being a Dad is being the rock. Now being the rock can be a good thing….and it can get you in trouble. (Often) Being a rock means you are solid and dependable and can be counted on to do whatever you can for your children. It also can mean immoveable and stubborn and prideful and those things are, although honorable, sometimes a problem. I would like to think I have some of those first qualities because I am more than certain I have the last three.

Being a Dad means hurting when your children hurt. We also have a bit of a problem built into being a male and that is we always want to fix it. Sometimes it can’t be fixed….only adapted to. I would be the first to admit that I am a fixit guy and I will continue to try and fix it long after the rest of the world knows it can’t be fixed. (You know…stubborn, prideful, and immoveable)

Now of those three sometimes problematic qualities I think I have improved on the immoveable part. The other two not so much. As we all get older I think some of us do begin to mellow and are more receptive to other ideas.(Or perhaps we just give up easier) There are some topics I will never move on….Jesus Christ= my savior, big government=bad, taxes=waste, decaf coffee=no point, smoking=death, undocumented aliens=illegal immigrants, wife’s happiness=priority, and blogging=not getting something I should be doing right now done.

Being a Dad equals another task; Taking those phone calls about flat tires and broken driers, etc. I am still the go to guy….although I could be replaced. We’ll see about that. Being a Dad means yet another thing…..a very good thing. It means many precious memories that can’t be taken away. Memories of first communions, of 5th grade graduations, of diapers taped in an amazingly straight line the entire four walls of a living room. It is memories of high school graduations, college graduations, first apartments…..so many memories…more than room here would allow and more than most readers would tolerate.

Being a Dad has been and continues to be a challenge, a blessing and a privilege. I know Father’s Day is right around the corner and this year will hold a new deeper and at times difficult meaning for me. I thank God for the opportunity to be a Dad and I pray that in the end I will be half the Dad my Dad was to me.