Life’s little curve balls can sometimes be more like a fastball or a knuckle ball. Everything seems to be humming along….you are in complete control of your destiny (biggest lie on the planet, by the way) and then something unexpected hits you right between the eyes. This happened to my dear wife a few months back. For those of you who have ever been the recipient of pancreatitis there really needs no explanation about the pain and enduring effects. For those who have not, you should kneel down and thank the Lord and pray it never happens to you or to someone you love. Linda pushed through it with her same determination even though this has been probably her biggest health challenge to date which, by the way, includes cancer. It’s easy to have strong emotional feelings and angst about the big “C” but pancreatitis? Really?? Really.
Now she is on the mend although it is a long process of rebuilding strength to do everyday tasks as well as being able to eat a somewhat normal diet. Things you all take for granted, i.e. getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth…….just for starters. You get the idea. This was a curve ball that no one would ever see coming and our over stressed healthcare system begins to show its stress when something like this happens and all you want is answers. If you’ve not needed answers medically in the past 6 months you don’t know what I mean but you will, at some point find out.
I've had a reoccurring message in my blog over the years and it really is this….be thankful for what you have and be mindful that it can change in an instant. My Dad always had a way of putting things very succinctly and on this he would say, “ No matter how good things get, don’t forget how bad they can be and no matter how bad things get, don’t forget how good they can be.” It sounds simplistic but it really should be a perspective we all have. Don’t just whine and complain about what you don’t have but instead be very thankful for ALL of your blessings. We all tend to lose sight of this in our busy lives until one day something like pancreatitis brings it home.
It is interesting that I started writing this about two weeks ago and then things got in the way so I shelved it and came back to it this morning and it still rings true. I look at Facebook and am continually amazed about how so many people complain about this or that but never just relish what they have. These are the same people that say the news is always negative and we never hear anything positive. Perhaps the positivity we seek should begin at home. Just a thought….
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
A Little About Tom
So there is this man I have been working with at my new position by the name of Tom. Tom is retiring tomorrow and going to enjoy his new life travelling and doing what he wants when he wants. I’m certain everyone is envious to some extent but this was not given to Tom. Tom has worked hard all his life to provide for himself and his family. He has many experiences in his past jobs as well as his current one and if you've spent even minutes with Tom you've heard some of them.
Tom is one of these people that although I've only known since February, I feel like I’ve known him all my life. That said Tom is not afraid to tell it like it is and I think that is one of the quality things about him I admire so much. Love him or hate him you will never have a question about where he stands on most anything from doctors to medicine to food to music (a lot of 50’s and I mean a lot) and the list goes on and on.
So to wrap this little tribute up I feel I should say one more thing. The field I am in I have been in for many years but the sales aspect is somewhat new to me. Tom has taught me more in just 2 months in sales on a practical level than anyone I've met. If I succeed, which I plan on doing, it can be directly related to this guy’s help. So Tom, I wish you God’s speed and only the best in your next step in life. You truly deserve to be right where you are and to now enjoy your freedom. (as long as Karen says it’s ok)
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Dear Linda.....
Dear Linda,
Well you are on the mend and won’t likely read this for several days but what happened just emphasizes in my mind how you are so important to me. Until a challenge comes along, I don’t think we always know how we will react or how we will cope. Out of suffering comes great revelations about a person’s character and you were no different through all of this. You handled these challenges with grace and yes perhaps a little anxiety at times but even at your lowest point, the humor and sparkle never left those eyes.
During the cancer period, you were strong, had a great attitude that it was not going to beat you and just pushed through it with a smile, much more of a smile than I could muster I must add. That was difficult for me in various ways but even this recent health challenge was different. As much as we think we know God’s plan, or at least have an impact on his plan, an event like this taught me once again, that every moment is precious. (and fleeting) The last minute of your life you took to read this you cannot get back. While that certainly cannot be disputed, the older I get the more I realize how finite those minutes are or can be. The reason the statement, “youth is wasted on the young” is the very point I am trying to make. In our youth time is but a vehicle to get us from one place to the next. When we get older we realize how precious that vehicle really is and how blessed we are to have enough time in this world to make a difference.
So all indications are you will be getting out of the hospital soon. This event cemented in stone how much you mean to me and how important it is that we go on together for years to come to make the very most of those minutes we each have left in this world. Money and things are temporary….love, although not as popular a concept these days, is forever. I am blessed to have my best friend be by my side. Events like this drive the point home.
So I am very happy to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with your recent malady and, as I always do, wait in eager anticipation of your return home. One more thing…you should know, as I’m sure you do, that you have an extended Facebook network of friends and family who have been praying for you since this began. Along with Facebook, you have a huge contingency of Methodists and Episcopalians that are also praying for you and helping you through this. All of these people only strengthen my resolve and all of the prayers truly lift you up above these challenges. So be as grateful as I am that these people both near and far have been with you every step of the way!
My name may be Peter but YOU are truly my rock.
During the cancer period, you were strong, had a great attitude that it was not going to beat you and just pushed through it with a smile, much more of a smile than I could muster I must add. That was difficult for me in various ways but even this recent health challenge was different. As much as we think we know God’s plan, or at least have an impact on his plan, an event like this taught me once again, that every moment is precious. (and fleeting) The last minute of your life you took to read this you cannot get back. While that certainly cannot be disputed, the older I get the more I realize how finite those minutes are or can be. The reason the statement, “youth is wasted on the young” is the very point I am trying to make. In our youth time is but a vehicle to get us from one place to the next. When we get older we realize how precious that vehicle really is and how blessed we are to have enough time in this world to make a difference.
So all indications are you will be getting out of the hospital soon. This event cemented in stone how much you mean to me and how important it is that we go on together for years to come to make the very most of those minutes we each have left in this world. Money and things are temporary….love, although not as popular a concept these days, is forever. I am blessed to have my best friend be by my side. Events like this drive the point home.
So I am very happy to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with your recent malady and, as I always do, wait in eager anticipation of your return home. One more thing…you should know, as I’m sure you do, that you have an extended Facebook network of friends and family who have been praying for you since this began. Along with Facebook, you have a huge contingency of Methodists and Episcopalians that are also praying for you and helping you through this. All of these people only strengthen my resolve and all of the prayers truly lift you up above these challenges. So be as grateful as I am that these people both near and far have been with you every step of the way!
My name may be Peter but YOU are truly my rock.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Youthful Perspective
“Youth is wasted on the young.” I’m not certain who coined that phrase first but it is indeed a cruel irony that as adults we understand that point but as children, no amount of drilling it in our craniums would or will make a difference. I thought I would offer up a little of my own perspective.
Recent events in my life have made me think a little about what the differences are between the so called adult way of thinking and the little adults way of thinking. I think it boils down to one evil word for both children and adults; consequences. We make decisions every day that have both intended and unintended consequences. I would submit that children really don’t make the distinction and we as adults should be there to guide them. That being said I would have to also say that many children do a much better job!
So if consequences exist no matter what the age where does experience fit in as far as helping our children. It’s quite simple….anything they are trying to do that may be harmful was probably already performed by the adults in their life. But where children have the advantage is having, and I say this in hope, a backstop of an adult to temper the consequences somewhat. What children will never understand is that as adults our decisions become our own and we have nowhere to look but in the mirror as to the responsibility of said decisions. Children who are fortunate enough to have adult supervision have the real blessing of not being entirely responsible as far as our society as a whole. Yes we try to make them accountable and understand the consequences of bad decisions but oftentimes those consequences and subsequent punishments are kept within the family. We are basically judge and jury. They many times see it as unfair judgment until, of course, they become adults and then it all comes in to focus.
I would state that these are my opinions and I realize some may disagree and that’s fine, you can deal with the consequences of that disagreement. (or not) I have to say that one of the most satisfying things in my lifetime is to see my offspring finally understand why they were held to a certain yardstick of behavior and how children of today measure up. (or don’t) So keep the dialogue open and free with your children because at some point in your life, hopefully, you will have the pleasure of watching the light bulb come on in their eyes of how much your love and support made them who they are and made them think the way they think.
Recent events in my life have made me think a little about what the differences are between the so called adult way of thinking and the little adults way of thinking. I think it boils down to one evil word for both children and adults; consequences. We make decisions every day that have both intended and unintended consequences. I would submit that children really don’t make the distinction and we as adults should be there to guide them. That being said I would have to also say that many children do a much better job!
So if consequences exist no matter what the age where does experience fit in as far as helping our children. It’s quite simple….anything they are trying to do that may be harmful was probably already performed by the adults in their life. But where children have the advantage is having, and I say this in hope, a backstop of an adult to temper the consequences somewhat. What children will never understand is that as adults our decisions become our own and we have nowhere to look but in the mirror as to the responsibility of said decisions. Children who are fortunate enough to have adult supervision have the real blessing of not being entirely responsible as far as our society as a whole. Yes we try to make them accountable and understand the consequences of bad decisions but oftentimes those consequences and subsequent punishments are kept within the family. We are basically judge and jury. They many times see it as unfair judgment until, of course, they become adults and then it all comes in to focus.
I would state that these are my opinions and I realize some may disagree and that’s fine, you can deal with the consequences of that disagreement. (or not) I have to say that one of the most satisfying things in my lifetime is to see my offspring finally understand why they were held to a certain yardstick of behavior and how children of today measure up. (or don’t) So keep the dialogue open and free with your children because at some point in your life, hopefully, you will have the pleasure of watching the light bulb come on in their eyes of how much your love and support made them who they are and made them think the way they think.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
A Tribute To Karen
I feel compelled to write a little entry in memory of my late wife Karen who passed away on January 24th, 1999 or just over 15 years ago. I am twice blessed to have found Linda since then and really have no words to convey how fortunate I am to be able to include each of them as soul-mates but I wanted to write this about Karen.
Our daughter Marlee is one of the things that really exemplify Karen best. All of the things Karen was are still in Marlee. She was full of life and you could not smile when she smiled. She was quite dramatic in many aspects of her life. (Marlee) She was extremely intelligent and seemed to effortlessly display it although she really couldn’t change a flat tire. (Marlee) Again, I was blessed to have her and although the last year was very difficult for her physically she was always more concerned about everyone else around her. I will never forget when the illness she had was finally diagnosed and I was a wreck and asked her don’t you ever think why me? Her response was why not me? That blew me away at that time and still to this very day I remember it. Her faith was so strong and even got stronger as she travelled the difficult journey of the disease which ultimately took her life so early.
As life moves on we tend to take some things for granted. Karen’s death rocked my world as well as Marlee’s and many others but as I look back now I can only remember the blessings that I had at that time in Karen and that’s the way memories should be. The good thing is Karen’s memory lives on in Marlee. My guess is I see it a lot when Marlee even has no idea. So I count Marlee as another blessing in that she can remind me of just what her mother was like and why she was special to me then and her memories will be special to me always. If you never met Karen then you missed out. I can only try to convey what she meant to me, her daughter, her family and anyone else whoever had contact with her.
So here’s to you Karen…..you were a great mother, wife, and friend. It was a privilege that I will never take for granted being part of your life. Know that your daughter has gotten the best guidance and care and love from me, Linda and everyone else around her since the Lord took you home. Eventually I know we will all be together but for now we should take time every now and then to take stock in what we had….what we have…and how blessed we all are in this world!
Our daughter Marlee is one of the things that really exemplify Karen best. All of the things Karen was are still in Marlee. She was full of life and you could not smile when she smiled. She was quite dramatic in many aspects of her life. (Marlee) She was extremely intelligent and seemed to effortlessly display it although she really couldn’t change a flat tire. (Marlee) Again, I was blessed to have her and although the last year was very difficult for her physically she was always more concerned about everyone else around her. I will never forget when the illness she had was finally diagnosed and I was a wreck and asked her don’t you ever think why me? Her response was why not me? That blew me away at that time and still to this very day I remember it. Her faith was so strong and even got stronger as she travelled the difficult journey of the disease which ultimately took her life so early.
As life moves on we tend to take some things for granted. Karen’s death rocked my world as well as Marlee’s and many others but as I look back now I can only remember the blessings that I had at that time in Karen and that’s the way memories should be. The good thing is Karen’s memory lives on in Marlee. My guess is I see it a lot when Marlee even has no idea. So I count Marlee as another blessing in that she can remind me of just what her mother was like and why she was special to me then and her memories will be special to me always. If you never met Karen then you missed out. I can only try to convey what she meant to me, her daughter, her family and anyone else whoever had contact with her.
So here’s to you Karen…..you were a great mother, wife, and friend. It was a privilege that I will never take for granted being part of your life. Know that your daughter has gotten the best guidance and care and love from me, Linda and everyone else around her since the Lord took you home. Eventually I know we will all be together but for now we should take time every now and then to take stock in what we had….what we have…and how blessed we all are in this world!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
My Dad...revisited
I came across this letter I wrote several years ago. I wrote it to my dearly departed Dad. I read it....and read it again.....and realized it was worth reposting. If your Dad is still around....take some lessons from it....make it known how special he is to you right now...don't waste another minute. It could be the last minute you have.
Dear Dad,
Well it’s your birthday today and I wish I could celebrate that fact with you but instead I am left with many numerous and wonderful memories. In years past, Linda and I would have performed the very difficult task of trying to figure out what to send you for your special day. Not this year and what I wouldn’t give for another chance.
I’m not sure if you would be disappointed in me or upset with me but I still miss you as if you passed yesterday. Everyone tells me it will get easier. Everyone tells me to give it more time. While I know this to be true it’s not what I really want to hear. The worst part is there really isn’t anything anyone can say that will make this easier. The years march on whether we like it or not and our mortality eventually becomes a realization. Knowledge of that fact is of little comfort even now.
What I have learned over the years and in my various losses of loved ones are there really never seems to be enough time. Never enough time to say I love you one more time. Never enough time to see just one more smile or hear one more “my aching back”. Never enough time to enjoy one more dinner at Mainly Lobster or a michigan at McSweeney’s. So instead we are left with our memories and they will have to suffice but right now….at this very moment….I find even the memories to not be enough. I feel weak Dad. I feel like I need to draw on an inner strength that at this moment escapes me. So I will pray….and pray some more for my God to supply me with that needed strength.
I will never forget our long talks about everything under the sun. I will never forget my counseling you, of all things, when you lost Daisy. As much as we disagreed on politics how I wish I could be in an engaging conversation about this President with you. I would give anything to be sitting beside you watching your beloved Yankees just one more time.
I want to thank you Dad. You supplied me with a foundation to my faith. You gave me an example to follow and a hero to admire. You taught me right from wrong even though I didn’t always get that right every time. You taught me to find wit and humor in any situation. You taught me to stand by my convictions even when I stood alone. You taught me how to blow a pretty fair horn. So even though you were no more perfect than any of us you made me want to aspire to try and measure up to you and I continue that mission still today. You have left some big shoes to fill and I may never fill them but I will never stop trying.
I know you are already growing impatient with me getting all emotional and nostalgic so I will close this letter. Dad, I never really said this enough to you but I love you. You knew it…I knew it…and for us that was enough. But I wish I could tell you right now in person one more time. So this will have to do. I know I will see you again….not sure when that will be…..but that very fact will sustain me and one day….in the future….I will see you face to face….and will tell you once more…..I love you.
Pete
Dear Dad,
Well it’s your birthday today and I wish I could celebrate that fact with you but instead I am left with many numerous and wonderful memories. In years past, Linda and I would have performed the very difficult task of trying to figure out what to send you for your special day. Not this year and what I wouldn’t give for another chance.
I’m not sure if you would be disappointed in me or upset with me but I still miss you as if you passed yesterday. Everyone tells me it will get easier. Everyone tells me to give it more time. While I know this to be true it’s not what I really want to hear. The worst part is there really isn’t anything anyone can say that will make this easier. The years march on whether we like it or not and our mortality eventually becomes a realization. Knowledge of that fact is of little comfort even now.
What I have learned over the years and in my various losses of loved ones are there really never seems to be enough time. Never enough time to say I love you one more time. Never enough time to see just one more smile or hear one more “my aching back”. Never enough time to enjoy one more dinner at Mainly Lobster or a michigan at McSweeney’s. So instead we are left with our memories and they will have to suffice but right now….at this very moment….I find even the memories to not be enough. I feel weak Dad. I feel like I need to draw on an inner strength that at this moment escapes me. So I will pray….and pray some more for my God to supply me with that needed strength.
I will never forget our long talks about everything under the sun. I will never forget my counseling you, of all things, when you lost Daisy. As much as we disagreed on politics how I wish I could be in an engaging conversation about this President with you. I would give anything to be sitting beside you watching your beloved Yankees just one more time.
I want to thank you Dad. You supplied me with a foundation to my faith. You gave me an example to follow and a hero to admire. You taught me right from wrong even though I didn’t always get that right every time. You taught me to find wit and humor in any situation. You taught me to stand by my convictions even when I stood alone. You taught me how to blow a pretty fair horn. So even though you were no more perfect than any of us you made me want to aspire to try and measure up to you and I continue that mission still today. You have left some big shoes to fill and I may never fill them but I will never stop trying.
I know you are already growing impatient with me getting all emotional and nostalgic so I will close this letter. Dad, I never really said this enough to you but I love you. You knew it…I knew it…and for us that was enough. But I wish I could tell you right now in person one more time. So this will have to do. I know I will see you again….not sure when that will be…..but that very fact will sustain me and one day….in the future….I will see you face to face….and will tell you once more…..I love you.
Pete
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Family
For some reason, which I am always unsure of, I felt a need to write about one topic that seems to have really changed over the years. I am speaking about the word “family”. Not that many decades ago the term family and blood were interchangeable. Family is now not so well defined. Is this a bad thing or good thing? I don’t think it’s either but some families are blatantly dysfunctional while others preserve a tight bond. Then there is the family such as mine that falls somewhere in the middle. (Perhaps leaning towards the dysfunctional) I am still connected with most of my family and have an extended family of many beautiful Grandchildren as well as a daughter, two sons, a step son and cousins as far as the eye can see…and then some.
Now my family has had more than its share of drama over the years and I’ve experienced about as many types of losses there are in a family; some in my control, some not. I don’t say this to garner any sympathy but just to state that loss is not unfamiliar to me.
But the entire dynamic of a family is being re-adjudicated in our lifetime. What used to be Grandparents, Fathers, Mothers, Sons and Daughters making up the immediate family is now not so well defined. Another thing about past families is where I grew up and no matter what the religious affiliation; God of some kind was usually a guiding force. This is slowly and maybe in some circles quickly changing. The world’s commercialism has finally begun to take its toll. Christmas for many children is about presents and candy. When I grew up, Christmas was certainly about Santa Claus but there was also this birthday we were celebrating….the Son of God. No matter how much we enjoyed the presents and the candy and everything else about the commercial side, we were frequently reminded why Christmas existed. That has fallen by the wayside and that is a travesty that will reap negative benefits for years to come.
I wonder how many people take a few minutes to ponder what their family dynamic really is and how it has affected their lives. I have more cousins than you can shake a stick at and have been woefully inadequate staying in touch. I take full responsibility. We all get so swept up in our daily lives that we tend to push off what should be a priority because in the end we are left with family and our God. If you only have one or neither than your life will end, in my humble opinion, on a lonely note.
I think everyone should take a step back and try to reconnect to family. I know there are relationships too divided by circumstances but in many cases we have just lost touch. I am going to take a look at that myself. You can procrastinate about this but in the end you will be the one who suffers. Something to think about…..
Now my family has had more than its share of drama over the years and I’ve experienced about as many types of losses there are in a family; some in my control, some not. I don’t say this to garner any sympathy but just to state that loss is not unfamiliar to me.
But the entire dynamic of a family is being re-adjudicated in our lifetime. What used to be Grandparents, Fathers, Mothers, Sons and Daughters making up the immediate family is now not so well defined. Another thing about past families is where I grew up and no matter what the religious affiliation; God of some kind was usually a guiding force. This is slowly and maybe in some circles quickly changing. The world’s commercialism has finally begun to take its toll. Christmas for many children is about presents and candy. When I grew up, Christmas was certainly about Santa Claus but there was also this birthday we were celebrating….the Son of God. No matter how much we enjoyed the presents and the candy and everything else about the commercial side, we were frequently reminded why Christmas existed. That has fallen by the wayside and that is a travesty that will reap negative benefits for years to come.
I wonder how many people take a few minutes to ponder what their family dynamic really is and how it has affected their lives. I have more cousins than you can shake a stick at and have been woefully inadequate staying in touch. I take full responsibility. We all get so swept up in our daily lives that we tend to push off what should be a priority because in the end we are left with family and our God. If you only have one or neither than your life will end, in my humble opinion, on a lonely note.
I think everyone should take a step back and try to reconnect to family. I know there are relationships too divided by circumstances but in many cases we have just lost touch. I am going to take a look at that myself. You can procrastinate about this but in the end you will be the one who suffers. Something to think about…..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)