My Hero

As much as I hate revisiting this issue I am in need of some self-therapy so although this is of a personal nature to me I am compelled to share. My hero is about to move to an assisted living facility in Upstate NY. It is a nice place and he will be looked after much more effectively than he could live on his own. So intellectually I understand the reasoning for this. My problem is not intellectual at all.

This man is a rock. Even in his weakened state he continues to inspire anyone he touches. His will is unbending; his faith unending. My most personal difficulty is coming to the realization that he no longer can really care for himself. He is a proud man and this decision had to be a difficult one for him. He has always been a very independent person and I think part of what made him thrive was his independence. And now his body is beginning to fail him. In many ways I’m quite certain he is dealing with this better than I.

Many of my friends and relatives are also dealing with aging parents. Some close to me have already dealt with the passing of their parents. I, on the other hand, am not ready to deal with either when it comes to my hero. I can’t seem to sort my feelings. I am quite good about separating the intellectual side of this from the emotional side; however, the emotional side is still winning. It is selfish I know….it is my problem to deal with. I have started a little exercise in the evening before bed to pray for my hero and to pray for the strength to deal with what lies ahead.

So I ask you to all pray for my hero and for my family. I am not alone when it comes to having difficulties reconciling my emotions. Many have come before me and many will come after me. This fact is not really a comfort right now though. This is my hero. I love you Dad.