I Am Blessed

So time is moving forward as always does whether we want it to or not. My life has been inexplicably changed forever with the loss of my Dad. My faith has received the ultimate test. As much as I am still working through the grieving process there is one thought that continues to sift its way through to the forefront of my sometimes almost impenetrable brain; I am blessed.

My Dad has forged on to the ultimate destination. He leaves us with so many incredible and indelible memories. So many moments of laughter and joy and a few moments of frustration but mostly the memories are solid and good. I am blessed.

He has lead by an incredible example. He worked most of his life to provide for his family. We may not have always appreciated that fact but we could never dispute it. His mind was a mind of very intense analysis. The man could fix anything and could improve on most everything. You may not always agree with his solutions but in the end you would always succumb to his methods because you knew he was either right or you were wrong. By the way, I don’t remember a time he was wrong and he would agree with that statement! I am blessed.

How can you quantify what a single man has done in his life to inspire you? I can tell you from my personal experience and that is you can not. I remember being just a shade higher than a mailbox and listening to him play his trumpet and wanting so much to play the trumpet. As destiny would have I play the trumpet. My style is most directly influenced by the heart and soul my Dad put into his playing. The first songs I could really play were the songs I heard come from his horn. I distinctly remember his talent in woodworking and in basically fixing most everything he put his hands on. As it turns out I think I am pretty handy, I am blessed.

When I was very little and made, yes made to attend the Catholic Church I really had no idea the impact that would have on me in later life. Even at a tender age I grew to understand the importance faith either had or would have on me. I saw in my Dad’s eyes and in his behavior the level of importance he placed on his faith. Sure I had a period I went through in my 20’s when I figured I had all the answers and shunned God. I was blessed to be impacted by my Dad in ways I had yet to learn in those years. I believe more in God right this minute than I did just a minute ago. I attribute this core of my beliefs to my one true hero in this life. I am blessed.

Notice I state that I am blessed in the present tense? I am blessed not because I had a Dad who loved me but because I still believe I have a Dad that loves me; just not of this world. The other reason I think of it in the present tense is because I carry my Dad wherever I go. I will always carry this man just as I know my wife and daughter will carry this man. Just as I know my Aunts and Cousins will carry this man. Everyone whoever had the pleasure of making contact with this man will carry him in one form or another. So not only am I blessed; we are all blessed.

More to come on this subject but my composure or I should say lack of composure dictates I stop for now.

My Cousin's Tribute To My Dad

I felt it only fitting to put this on my blog as my last and best tribute to my Dad. It was written by my cousin Jim who as you will see has a gift with the English language. It captures everything there is to know about who this man was and what he meant to all that knew him. Thank you Jim.



For Uncle Art’s Funeral April 20, 2010

Good Morning. Uncle Art’s family has asked me to say a few words today at this celebration of his life. Actually they asked me to write and deliver a eulogy. Eulogy is some kind of word derived from Greek that I define as a speech full of fancy words and compliments that might or might not be true. Well, I don’t think Uncle Art would want a eulogy. He would say that that was too high-brow for him. So instead I’m just going to say a few things I remember that might help us understand what kind of man he was.

I first knew Uncle Art when I was a little kid. I suppose that’s obvious isn’t it? He was the kind of Uncle who took kids on their own terms. So when I was visiting him … by the way back then he was known as Uncle Buster … he was friendly enough, but he had a way of talking to us like he was more of an older brother than an adult uncle. He would tease us and play silly little tricks on us. And when we fell for them, which was every time, he’d just give that little chuckle of his that we came to know so well.

Uncle Art was an outdoorsman, a guy who loved hunting and fishing. He also liked the other activities that guys who hang around in hunting camps enjoyed. Beer drinking, cigar smoking and telling stories all come to mind. I can recall seeing the results of a couple of his hunting trips hanging from a tree limb up in Lyon Mountain. I have vivid memories of some big deer and one year a bear. He tried to convince me that the bear was just sleeping and would wake up any second and be really ticked off because it was hanging there, which of course scared the heck out of me. He thought that was funny. But he really did have a true affection for the woods and streams of the areas in which he lived and traveled. In recent years as I became a more frequent visitor he gave me tips on where to fish and back roads to take to certain ponds and streams. And he wasn’t, like a lot of fishermen, sending me off on a wild goose chase. He was honest.

In fact, he was sometimes painfully honest. A few years back (and this is true too) he told me he always thought I had a big head when I was younger. I said “Yeah I guess for my size I had a pretty large head.” He said “No I don’t mean a fat head I mean a big stuck-up head.” ‘But you seem to be a little better now” he added. I said the only thing I could say … “Thank you”… because that’s how we should respond to honesty. Uncle Art was straightforward and honest in all his dealings. He wanted to be treated fairly and that’s how he treated everyone else he came in contact with.

There are a lot of clichés and overused things that could be applied to Uncle Art. He was hard working, clever and skilful in many things. He was a good citizen and a proud veteran of WWII. He was a good provider and he always did the best he could for his family. All of those are true for him as they are for many men of his generation. But he was also a unique guy with a wicked sense of humor. He loved seeing self-important people take a fall or get a pie in the face. But he was also capable of poking fun at himself and he didn’t take life too seriously. A sharp and funny remark was always just waiting for the right time to come out of his mouth. And those remarks came often.


Over the past years Uncle Art faced a lot of medical challenges. Colon cancer, lung problems, heart trouble and a nasty fall on the ice all knocked him for a loop. But he always took those troubles in stride figuring out how to deal with them and doing what it took to get back on his feet and moving ahead. Just last Wednesday I had the opportunity to visit with him. During that visit he told me that the frustrating thing about this latest set of problems was that he probably couldn’t get a whole lot better, but he’d do the best he could with what he had. He had the kind of courage that could face hard realities with a positive outlook.

And Uncle Art was a man of faith, which became more evident as he got older. That is not to say that he was a preacher or pushy about getting people to follow his particular set of beliefs. He was more of an example setter. His basic reliance was on the “golden rule”, which is, after all, the core of most religion and decent human behavior, and it was the guideline he followed the most.

And finally, above all Uncle Art was a family man. I’ve heard stories about his youth that indicated he might have been a somewhat wild and rebellious kid. But he had great respect for his parents and his sisters and brothers. He loved to talk about his dad, Grandpa Bourey, telling stories of craftsmanship, hard work and life in Standish. And Uncle Art was always concerned about and proud of his children and voiced that, not always to them. Maybe even rarely to them. But in conversations with others, including me, he was pretty liberal with his praise for his kids. He also was glad to have such fine grandchildren and enjoyed talking about them and their progress as they grew. To Uncle Art, family was a constant, something to rely on and to enjoy. He believed that you may not always be in frequent contact with family members but if they needed help you were there. And he was there at those needful times.

So today we celebrate the life of a good man; a good father, a good son and brother, a good friend and a darn good Uncle

My Hero Has Moved On

There is nothing easy about grieving. Many people try to come up with words to help. I am in the throws of grief right this minute. I am writing this purely with selfish motives. I am writing this to try to make sense of things and to perhaps even ease the pressure or burden of a loss. While many words of love and support will be uttered these next few weeks, the grief will still have a cutting edge to it that will only ease over time. I know this. I have dealt with grief before. It still doesn’t really make it any easier. Time is what will be needed to help the healing.

I have lost my hero. He is now in the loving hands of my Lord. I’m sure he’s fixing something up there already. This man could fix anything. I only wish he could fix my breaking heart. I need strength. I need to reach deep within my faith to get this strength. I need the loving arms of my wife. I need the support of anyone and everyone. I don’t really need any answers. I know the answers. I know my hero is where we all want to be. The problem is how we deal with the here and now.

My grief is raw right now. I am feeling the sting of losing someone I loved dearly. I got to spend some really treasured time with him these past few years. I will never forget our talks. I will never forget his wit….his strength of character….his many words of wisdom. I will never ever utter “oh my aching back” without thinking of him. Many people have many wonderful memories of this man. He left his mark wherever he was.

This man was a great man. He was a great Dad….husband…friend…and Christian. He would do anything for anyone. He was my hero. I love you Dad……and I will see you, hopefully, in heaven when it’s my turn.

Easter

This will be my little Easter sermon. Many of you know my faith is an important part of who I am. Some of you probably get annoyed from time to time as I spout off about my beliefs. Well here’s a little epiphany for you…..I don’t care!

Life is precious and short as far as our time on this Earth is concerned. All of us have our passions and interests and even yes obsessions. Some of us place importance on worldly possessions as a mark of our success. I also realize there is a growing segment of people that place no emphasis on any religious faith and make no effort to even make it a part of there lives. How truly sad that is. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating; if anyone thinks that our life here on Earth is all there is then how do they even get out of bed in the morning? What would be the point?

Why do I believe? That can’t be simply answered in these short paragraphs. I think anyone who has faith in God has gained it differently over the years. Mine is built on many things. It was given a foundation in my early years through my Dad making, yes making us go to church. It sort of drifting on me somewhat in my 20’s and made a solid comeback when I married Karen. Then I met Jay James and that was not only when it began to grow but it flourished. I am the product of many years of life experience and even some tragedy and I do think I am living proof of the old adage, “that which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger”. I am now very fortunate to be married to a beautiful lady that also places her faith above all else. So my faith continues to grow. My focus in life is to be ready when my savior makes the call. Will I be ready? Will YOU be ready?

Easter is the perfect time in the church year to be reborn. The whole message of Easter is how we get a fresh start. Jesus did that for us. He made everything new. I hope some of you take advantage of this fresh new beginning. I know many families that put a real emphasis on there faith and strive to teach there children how important God is in their lives, My belief is if you have children you have no greater calling or could leave no more important legacy than to leave your children understanding how important their faith is in their lives.

So enjoy your Easter. Enjoy all the Easter Bunny things and the food and the family. I challenge you to also use this holiday to rekindle or for some even kindle a faith. You don’t need to jump in the water all at once but I challenge all of you to slowly wade in the shallow end…..and slowly work your way to the deeper waters. You might just find this adventure to be a real life changing event. If you have children, it might even be a life saving event.

Today Is The Day

Today is the day. My Dad changes his residence after many many years. I know it’s for the best. I know he will get the best possible care. I also know I can’t shake this sadness. It will be a transition that he has to make as well as many of us will at some point but that knowledge doesn’t soften my sadness.

The process that’s hard for me is after all the years of him being the one to turn to for help and guidance now becomes almost reversed. He’s the one who needs the help. I am many miles away so my brother has been forced into that role almost on his own. So the miles make this even more difficult.

There is no fix for this. It is time doing what it does. I now must call upon my faith once again to keep me mindful of not what I am losing but what I have been blessed with all these years. You see time can challenge us in many ways but at least for now I can also use that time in the way of memories to keep me lifted.

Keep my father in your prayers that whatever God’s plan is for him that his last and final transition is an easy one.

My Hero

As much as I hate revisiting this issue I am in need of some self-therapy so although this is of a personal nature to me I am compelled to share. My hero is about to move to an assisted living facility in Upstate NY. It is a nice place and he will be looked after much more effectively than he could live on his own. So intellectually I understand the reasoning for this. My problem is not intellectual at all.

This man is a rock. Even in his weakened state he continues to inspire anyone he touches. His will is unbending; his faith unending. My most personal difficulty is coming to the realization that he no longer can really care for himself. He is a proud man and this decision had to be a difficult one for him. He has always been a very independent person and I think part of what made him thrive was his independence. And now his body is beginning to fail him. In many ways I’m quite certain he is dealing with this better than I.

Many of my friends and relatives are also dealing with aging parents. Some close to me have already dealt with the passing of their parents. I, on the other hand, am not ready to deal with either when it comes to my hero. I can’t seem to sort my feelings. I am quite good about separating the intellectual side of this from the emotional side; however, the emotional side is still winning. It is selfish I know….it is my problem to deal with. I have started a little exercise in the evening before bed to pray for my hero and to pray for the strength to deal with what lies ahead.

So I ask you to all pray for my hero and for my family. I am not alone when it comes to having difficulties reconciling my emotions. Many have come before me and many will come after me. This fact is not really a comfort right now though. This is my hero. I love you Dad.

The Inevitable Response

OK…here it comes. I just can’t go on without commenting on what just took place in Washington. You folks who don’t like politics see ya otherwise here’s my take on everything.

What took place is a complete travesty and basically a government takeover of our country as we know it. Our “representatives” did exactly what their President paid, pressured or ultimately ordered them to do. What they did was to completely turn their backs on the electorate. This vote had absolutely nothing to do with healthcare reform. It was all about power and control. When the administration promised transparency we had no idea just how transparent they would be.

This was a good thing. There’s a new take I’ll bet. Why was it good? Let me tell you. It was good because it finally once and for all displayed just what this President is capable of doing. It displayed once and for all just how much respect this President has for the people of this country and their wishes. Now I realize there are those who think this is the greatest deal since sliced bread. You will all wake up when you find out just how much tax that bread is going to have assessed on it. This is a good thing because the Democratic majority can now own one of the most disastrous pieces of legislation to ever be penned. This is a good thing because they will no longer be able to hide behind George Bush. This bill is their baby.

What will be next? Well many are thinking it will be making illegal immigrants legal. After all where is our President going to get his votes? He will have to bribe for them and he will have to count on the dependant class he is creating. The big problem is once you open the floodgates as he has, you now will need to continue to build on it. These people that are in need of free healthcare probably need cars. How else will they find employment? Of course with the car they will need insurance and oh yes gasoline. These are all rights as far as many are concerned, at least many in Washington. Who pays for all of this….you guessed it: YOU.

When I saw speaker Pelosi carrying in the large gavel to declare the bill passed, I actually felt physically ill. This so called leadership has basically raped and pillaged the constitution. Even worse they completely have disregarded it. The standards and expectations that we have held our elected officials to, have literally evaporated before our very eyes.

There is another reason this is a good thing in my opinion. It is awakening many who in the past could care less about politics. This country’s inner strength has always been its people and not its politicians. This bill is getting at least 15 lawsuits filed by states and I’m certain many more entities are going to follow, as they should. It is completely unconstitutional what has taken place and I can’t see how it can go forward without serious challenges.

One last comment about why I think this is a good thing. My hope is it will finally awaken a conservative base to counteract this incredible display of arrogance. I make no distinction here about Republican or Democrat because I think it will only survive if it is a conservative movement not a party movement. The difficulty ahead is figuring out if a third party would help or hinder this movement. The two parties at this time hold so much power (too much) that introducing a third party might only strengthen one of the two parties that essentially exists right now and we all know it would only benefit the left. I don’t have many answers just many questions.

To close, I realize many don’t enjoy or have an interest in politics. I must, however, implore you to get yourself interested because everything invested right now will only benefit your children and your children’s children. As things stand right now, should this bill not be repealed, the debt that will be incurred will, in my opinion, spiral our economy out of control. God help us all if that unfolds.