A Christmas Letter to My Dad

Dear Dad,

Well it’s now coming up on my second Christmas without you. I’ve been told by many that with each passing year it will get easier to deal with my loss. While in my head I know this to be true my heart just can’t sign on to that theory….not just yet.

I think you really did enjoy this time of year. I remember the gatherings at Christmas Eve. I even remember waking you up on Christmas morning..sometimes overtly and sometimes covertly. I remember one year getting a cassette recorder for Christmas. I remember taping you snoring and also remember you not really appreciating the humor. Oh well I was just a mischievous kid trying to live up to his mischievous Dad.

You were always about family especially this time of year. I really miss that. I really missed you being the focal point. I would give anything to have just one more Christmas with you. I would really give anything to even get one more handshake from my hero of heroes. These letters are always so difficult to write because while I know where your soul is now….I have no address to send this. While I know you are where we all strive to be I still have difficulty writing through the tears to express that thought.

You did not teach me to express my emotions as I even do now. You were brought up in a time and place where showing those emotions was almost considered a sign of weakness. I think living and having the benefit of a sensitive soul mate has helped me develop a sort of emotional maturity. I am both proud and in awe of my wife and I know you are too. There are few people on this planet that have inspired me as much as Linda. I am blessed to have her to lean on and to be leaned on.

So Dad…..know that I am doing fine. You gave me a strong sense of self responsibility and I think a strong moral compass to guide me through some pretty large challenges. I oftentimes look at a particular situation or challenge and consider how you would handle it. So although I say this a lot, it can never be said enough….I thank God for every day we had together. I thank him for the gift of a patient and caring father. I thank him for a man of both a generous heart and a giving soul.

While I may not have you to talk to in the flesh I am so blessed to have you to speak to and to have had you as a father. You may not be by my side any longer but you will always be an indelible and unmovable part of my spirit. Merry Christmas Dad…..and I love you.

My Friend Chuck

My Friend, Chuck

I knew this day would come…..we all knew this day would come. Chuck fought a hard valiant fight against a most vicious and heartless disease. But one thing I know and anyone who ever had the pleasure of knowing this man….the disease may had won over his body but it never took his spirit or his mind or his incredible positive attitude. In short, cancer never defined Chuck…only Chuck defined Chuck.

The fact is Chuck’s life was his soul definer. He never met a person that wasn’t an immediate friend. He was a devoted husband, a great friend and very active and connected to his church. He was always there on Thursday nights before a chicken BBQ hacking up chickens with the rest of us. He was there on the hanging of the greens day before the Christmas season began. He was a devoted Vestry member for countless years and was always a very positive and well thought part of that body. Anything Chuck cared about he made sure others cared about as well but he did it in a manner that others could not help but care. That was one of Chuck’s gifts. It’s why he was a successful business man as well.

I will miss Chuck. I will miss his stories. I will miss his wisdom. I will miss his contagious smile. I will miss his friendship. God has definitely gained another angel. We are left now to try to deal with the loss and sorrow. In Chuck’s case I think the way to do that is honor his life by doing the very thing he did until his final day…..don’t ever take anything for granted and live each day….each minute as if it is your last. Rest in peace my old friend…..you are loved, cherished and will be missed.

Abolish Spam!

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So I thought I would comment on Spam. Below are the most recent 12 emails I received this morning. This stuff is worse than the circulars I get in my mailbox. It would seem there is little that can be done to stop this hideous onslaught of this most always unwelcome and quite frequently offensive drivel. You can put all the filters you want on your mailbox and what often happens is you will filter out the important stuff and get something about male testosterone boosters.

Looking at this list, at least it’s not obscenely offensive. Let’s examine each e-mail one by one shall we? I may qualify for financial aid huh? OK, fishing expedition…sorry I don’t need it. Of course the very next e-mail makes the bold statement that a credit score of 750 is “great”! So if I get the financial aid I’m guessing that the second e-mail would be irrelevant?

To speak to the third e-mail…..I’ve got plenty of certifications and just keeping them up is enough, thank you! Another fishing expedition that will get them nowhere with me. I wonder how many people respond to this junk. Enough, apparently to justify its annoying frequency.

I don’t want to look inside to get my free Walmart groceries for a year….just give them to me and we can each go our merry way.

The next one just makes me wonder why 51% off? Why not 50 or 55? Is this a psychological way to make more folks notice? I guess in my case it worked on some level.

OK, the 7 day forecast is something I can use with the exception of the fact that they only stand a chance of getting tomorrow’s weather somewhat accurate. The rest of the week my knee can typically be more accurate.

My “exclusive” 20% offer ends tonight! Oh my God……so this is my offer and mine alone? I am really going to regret not using this exclusive offer. Sorry folks, perhaps you’ll get your own exclusive offer some day.


I am going to miss out on yet another offer, although not exclusive it would seem. By their line it looks like they missed offering a discount on Down coats last time and some heads must have rolled.




The next one is mildly offensive. First of all just how would they know if my testosterone level was low? Might be a good guess on their part but it seems that is a pretty personal issue and I will use my own dipstick to check my testosterone level with no help form GNC!

Now seriously if I got a 350 K loan for $13.04 a month it would take me like 400 years to pay it off. I didn’t just fall off the applecart….especially using that archaic phrase.

I really love the buffet survival strategy book. I could write that book….it would say AVOID BUFFETS. I wonder how much I could sell that book for?

And finally the one email line that actually makes some sense. Fall has arrived! Wait…..has it?? Or have I slept for a month? I have to stop taking that Ambien…perhaps I’ll get an email from GNC about getting some help sleeping! I can’t wait!


So that’s my exciting list of spam email for now. I obviously have more when I returned home but I think I’ve made my point. This stuff wears me out and it is hard to believe that people are employed out in cyberland to just continually molest people with this type of junk e-mail. I want to interview someone some day that states they were a junk mail creator just so I can communicate how thankful I am.

Random Thoughts

As I sit here in Orlando International Airport my mind wanders and I begin to observe people and also allow my brain to ponder things that most people, for good reason, do not. So here are a few of those random thoughts, etc.

The first thing is it seems that any airport in the world that wants more noteriety puts the tag international in front of its name. It would seem that if an immigrant is employed by the airport it qualifies As international.

It also occurs to me there are a few groups of people always doing battle. The people that have kids, have had kids, have never had kids and who are planning to have kids. I'm sure that no matter where you fall you have made instant judgements about the others. I am in the group, obvious to most, of having had kids. I wish I was better at connecting to young children. I don't seem to have a problem with teens on up but for some inexplicable reason I have difficulty with the droolers.....and yes I am referring to the young droolers. Just a self observation.

On the kids topic, when did so many parents stop being parents? I am talking about those parents that think most any large store is a play land for their children and basically no rules apply.

Another related thought is I'm curious where common civility went. People are so quick to make
Judgements of others. How has that happened? Have we as a society lost all patience and understanding of strangers? Assumptions have taken the place of learning. I realize I'm using a broad brush and many I associate with don't fall in this category. This is just a general observation and airports are a great place to make those.

Another thought that will tick off most everyone. I think they should lock the overhead bins in planes and make people check everything. I get so tired of the people who carry a two week supply of clothing, supplies, furniture and who knows what else on the plane and attempt to cram their stuff in an overhead bin. It sure would speed up the boarding and unboarding process. I know many of you think you beat the man at his game of charging you extra and you have but remember this when you have 10 minutes to get off your plane and make it all the way across the Dallas Airport....who wins then?

Ok, time for me to go get worked over by the TSA. Just some thoughts that probably most have considered a waste of time to read. I win this time!

Happy 25th to my "Little" Girl......

So my little girl turns 25 tomorrow. It just doesn’t seem possible. She has had more than her share of adversity. Losing her Mom would be right at the top but she also has had other significant challenges to overcome. I have been proud of her over the years for her accomplishments. I have laughed and even cried at different times about her. One thing has remained a constant. She will always be my little girl and I will always love her.

Another thing that makes me so proud is how she has taken her career and is really making something of it. She has never been satisfied at being a mediocre teacher. She has also faced and overcome an administrator that had only one thing on her mind and that was to make her fail. Not only did she prove this administrator to be the failure she has taken flight and her growth as a teacher continues and she doesn’t look back at the people that may have tried to derail her but only ahead at how she can become an even more gifted teacher than she already is. Whoever the student is that falls under her guidance is a blessed student in my eyes.

Linda and I have already given her the gift for reaching this 25th year however my gift has been these 25 years. I can’t imagine them without her in our lives and I really and truly look forward to many more years to come. So happy birthday Marlee….Linda is proud….I am proud….and your Mother in heaven is proud.

My Take On Twitter

Ah yes Twitter. My curiosity got the best of me so I started an account. So for several days now I have been trying to wrap my mind around just what Twitter is all about. Last night as I laid in bed trying to wait for my fertile (ya right) mind to shut down I had an epiphany about what Twitter is and why it has caught on in some circles.

For those of you who have lived in the woods without the benefit of technology for the last year I will now let the wisdom descend upon you and like toilet paper in the sewage system assimilate in your mind. I really need to work on my analogies. Twitter is basically a collection of one liners, be they serious, funny or somewhere in-between. The unique thing about Twitter is many celebrities use it so it seems to be some way for all the # 1 fans out there to feel validated.

That is in a nutshell what Twitter is and now let me tell you why it has become popular. I can some it up in two words: attention span. As a society we no longer have one. We basically have little to do with anything that isn’t resolved in a few minutes. I even heard a radio talk show host spout off about how she can’t sit through a whole movie. Really? So Twitter requires basically no attention span and people really love that. (it seems)

There’s another reason I think it’s popular. It takes almost zero effort to engage in it. No work equals massive popularity amongst the current crop of homosapiens. Let’s face it, we are so embroiled in our day to day activities be it work or as my cousin in a far away land calls it retirement. To his credit he is an avid reader so he doesn’t necessarily fit the broad mold I am casting. People just don’t want to be involved in anything that requires much effort. That’s my take and since I’m writing this it is the only take that matters.

So there you have it. Twitter and all the twits engaged in it doing their tweeting are now explained to my vast mountain of reader. (No typo there) Twitter is basically a mindless activity that requires its fans to only have to structure one sentence at a time. BRILLIANT! ( Hey that might be my next tweet)

A Little Tribute To My Bride

There are some things about my life I am so thankful to talk about; those special things that make my life so complete and such a celebration. One of those parts of my life is my lovely wife. She is so humble that she won’t agree with half of what I say here but it won’t stop me now. (In fact it’s never stopped me before either)

I met this lady when I really thought I was through having any serious relationship. After losing my previous wife in such a difficult way I thought that the rest of my life I was going it alone. God apparently thought different. I couldn’t be happier he did.

This woman has taught me so much about myself and about others. She has shown me ultimate grace under fire. She is selfless when it comes to others. She is oh so patient with me and all of my flaws. Four years ago she looked cancer square in the eyes and said NOT ME. She even took that time in her life to look for ways to inspire and comfort others. Even now she plans to volunteer in her retirement to help others afflicted with this disease. You know there is an old saying that goes something like this: “Character is not revealed in victories but in challenges”. Her character was definitely revealed and it is above reproach.

I don’t want to dwell on the cancer because she would be the first to say she doesn’t want to be defined by that. She has moved on and thank God I am moving with her. She works tirelessly for the United Methodist Conference in nurturing new clergy through the ordination process. Nurturing is another gift of hers and she is exactly in the right place at the right time for the Methodist Church.

This lady of mine has not always had it easy in her life. Her family like many families these days is fragmented and not without its own challenges. She grew up in less than ideal circumstances at times but her faith and her amazing spirit saw her through those times.

So I write this today because it is her birthday. Birthdays tend to remind us how blessed we are in this life. As long as this lady is by my side my life will be not only happy but complete. We don’t know the will of the almighty but I do know that the blessings we are handed need to be treated with respect and honor. So on this day I wanted to do this in a most public way for my bride.

I love you Linda….and every day I am able to draw breath with you by my side is a gift I will never take for granted.

My Thoughts on Casey Anthony.....

The recent events in the court room cause me to ponder our justice system. It is still the best system in the world……I think.

Anyone who has had any experience in our justice machine is pretty much aware that where the courtroom begins, common sense ends. This Casey Anthony case is yet another in a long string of very high profile cases that proves that assertion. Let’s look at this a moment…..no DNA, no determinant cause of death, no murder weapon and no apparent witnesses. Those are the facts. If you looked at those facts only as apparently the jury did then she is not guilty. Now the common sense facts that can also not be disputed…she waited 30 days to report the little girl missing….during those 30 days she had relations with 6 different men, went out on the town frequently and never seemed to have a care in the world. Once the story broke and the authorities were brought in she continually lied and misled them about the entire course of events. Even now after the verdict I see little concern on the mother’s part or any of that dysfunctional family to find out what really happened to that little girl.

Almost everyone I hear on the talking head shows believes this woman was complicit but many can only look at this case through the very narrow prism of what they claim are the rules of law.

Now all of you intellectual types that purport reasonable doubt as being the standard for determining guilt win yet again. How about unreasonable doubt? How about lawyers turning what common sense logic should be into reasonable doubt? Perhaps the real problem is the majority of people sitting on a jury aren’t intelligent enough to get out of jury duty. I hope that’s not the real problem here because jury duty really is a civic duty. It is just troubling that people being people can’t look at a case entirely and not just intellectually in an almost machine-like process devoid of any emotion or common sense.

So that’s my rail on our justice system. In my heart of hearts I think we have a good system and we are still a people that must live under a rule of law. Just keep in mind that we are people…not robots and as such we should be able to examine all circumstances behind a death to determine through reasoned logic what we think really happened. When we loose that, we loose our humanity.

My Pride And Joy

There is simply no more intense gift than the gift of seeing your offspring succeed. You spend many sometimes difficult years trying to impart your wisdom of experience and yet seeing when they finally “get it”……it’s one of those moments in time when pride can overcome you. This happened to me recently. It is a moment that only a parent can fully appreciate. It’s even more intense because when they do finally understand the things you’ve tried to teach then you suddenly understand your own parent’s previous heartaches as well as proud moments. It is almost a double moment of self revelation.

I am blessed. Those words can’t be overused in my opinion. It’s one thing to grow up and try to do things right for yourself and try to succeed for yourself but it is quite another to have a son or daughter display signs of success and winning in life. My daughter recently wrote a blog addressing some of life’s lessons that she has come to understand and not through always the easiest of paths. I think some of her revelations are lessons I am still learning. That is awe inspiring to me.

So a lesson for me is how someone you try to guide through life…thinking you may have the answers….ends up teaching you something special. How good is that? So I suppose we did something right. Am I proud? You bet I am. Am I bragging? Right on count two as well.

Basically it is quite easy to look around and find all of the negatives in this life. I choose to, at least for this moment, to enjoy the recent successes of my little girl. Life is hard enough to not ignore the victories. So way to go Ms. Bourey……my favorite teacher of all time!

A Rant Among Many

So banter and tirades are not always easy to literate and yet I will continue to try. The thoughts seem to sometimes bubble up and just as earthquakes relieve pressures in the tectonic plates so must I write this to relieve my own personal subterranean pressure.

I write about this often and get little feedback which tends to make me think many of my reader (no typo there) are guilty of this as well. Sometimes while I ride our many highways I am amazed about how fast everyone has to get somewhere these days. It seems there is little, if no, regard for other homosapiens on the roads. (or on the side of the roads) I am not a saint but I do try to have some sort of formula that keeps me within sensible parameters of the suggested speeds. I say suggested because that must be how most people these days view those signs. Speeders run across all demographics. They can be white, black, Indian, Hispanic, Oriental (ok the oriental speeder is rare but they are out there), male. female and even those in-between. They can be young, boomers and the most disturbing of all speeders OLD. While it is more prevalent as you get closer to the larger cities it is everywhere these days. Now speeding as bad as it is on its own is not all…..there are the woman applying make-up as they speed. There are the knee drivers, eating, smoking, drinking, talking on the phone, texting, reading e-mail, reading the paper, all the while wearing headphones so the sounds of shrieking bystanders or sirens don’t disturb their drive. Let’s throw in GPS’s as well as DVD players. It is getting more insane all the time. I am particularly incensed when one of those minivans comes flying by with all the little crumb crunchers in various states. There can be no larger offense than putting your children in harms way. We don’t need terrorists in this country…..we are doing fine attacking our own all by ourselves!

OK, that felt good. With all the demands put on our time, many self-imposed by the way, people of this generation have to become better time managers of sorts. Prioritizing our needs as well as wants becomes more of a challenge with each passing year. We have so much technology at our hands now that many are on a sort of technology overload. Where once people actually appreciated or at least noticed the outdoors it is quickly becoming just a way from getting from one computer to a cell phone to another computer. I am guilty myself as my wife would quickly point out. Some of what I do is through demands of employment but some (Angry Birds) is most definitely not. A side not, Angry Birds is an evil game. Let’s take a walk. Leave the cell phone at home. Separate technology from yourselves for a few hours. You might figure out you are missing life’s simplest yet most rewarding pleasures. It occurs to me I am writing this on a computer….oh well I am going to try and do this as well.

I could get into politics but that is such a train wreck right now I would not know where to begin. This country is running on borrowed money and continues to write more checks. I only wish I could live the same way.

So to summarize this rant, SLOW DOWN, SMELL THE ROSES, and LOSE THE TECHNOLOGY FOR A FEW HOURS and see if you smile just a little more and enjoy life just a little more.

My Dad....a letter

Perhaps a year or two before my Dad passed I left him a letter (secretly) before I left from one of my visits. As I re-read this letter it seems a fitting tribute to the man as Father's Day approaches to post this. This letter is how I felt when I wrote it ans still to this day feel...and will carry with me forever.



Dear Dad,

I need to write this letter if for no other reason to let you know I love you. There are, however other reasons I wanted to state.

We, as a family, have kind of been atrophied when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s always been that way and it is what it is. I have become much better at expressing those things, at least in writing, Perhaps I have a ways to go in speaking those matters. I know you love me and you know I love you and that should be good enough right? Well what I’ve learned is quite to the contrary.

We’ve been through a lot over these years. I wasn’t always the model kid. I did a few good things here and there but I know I probably never attained my potential in music. You and Daisy did the best you could but my head was not on entirely straight at Potsdam; Water under the bridge now. I couldn’t be happier with my lovely wife and my wonderful daughter. They have meant so much to me and each other that I can’t begin to put it all in words. I think between Karen and Linda and myself, we did a pretty good job with Marlee and I’m proud of that.

There is another deeper reason Marlee did so well. Simply stated it was how her Dad was raised. I have to tell you all the while as I was growing up making you proud of me was my biggest goal. I played the trumpet not because it fell in my lap but because my Dad was a wonderfully gifted trumpeter who I so wanted to emulate. The older you got and the older I got the more I wanted to be like you and that goes on still today. I could not have achieved all I have without your guidance, love, support and a couple times financial help. I look around and see a term loosely used too often but in this case you are quite honestly my true hero.

So as I write this we still don’t know God’s plan for us. We don’t know his plan for you anymore than for me. Not that many years ago I started putting more emphasis on my religion so as to hope to understand at least what his plan may be. I am in steadfast hope of living the right way, the Christian way and ultimately to all have a big Bourey reunion in heaven.

So if you haven’t completely lost your mind after all of this the message is simple Dad. It is thank you. Thank you for all the lessons taught (and some even learned). Thank you for staying by my side through thick and thin. For being there when I needed you even though you were pulled many different ways when you were raising all of us.

I have many great memories involving you Dad. I hope to create a few more while I’m visiting this time. The one thing I will never need to create. The one thing that is as steadfast a truth as there is now or ever was: I love you. You are my only Dad and my one and only hero.

Love, Pete

One of Life's Lessons.....

I am reminded lately how unfair life can be. I’m not speaking so much as to the enormous tragedies such as tornadoes or earthquakes but more on the simpler human level. Someone I’m very close to is faced with the realities of how friendships can evolve and sometimes fade. Any of us more aged citizens have come to understand this over time however for some it is a new and raw experience. I can remember coming to this realization and it is not an easy reality to deal with at times.

There is and can be some good that comes of this though. One of the lessons I’ve learned over time is that not all friendships that seemingly end are necessarily over. They may return in a different form at some point in our lives. The thing is when we are young and formulating our life plan we think our friends will be with us the entire way. It simply isn’t true but we hang on to it anyway. These days the world is such a much smaller place and lives don’t just change within our own communities but more often we move to different areas, states and even for some countries. That disconnect is difficult especially if they are long enduring friendships.

I don’t offer a solution here because there is none. It is no different that telling someone how to raise a child or how to have a happy marriage….we each must find our own way. The thing I can offer (the only thing really) is for you youngsters out there to lean on some of us older self proclaimed wiser persons to help you through that adjustment.

The thing to always keep in mind is that the old adage that when one door closes another one opens. It is perhaps most relevant right now to this special person that made me think of this. Where perhaps one opportunity has faded there are new and exciting opportunities that await. With that said you must seek them out. They don’t always present themselves. The one thing I know deep in my heart is this person has only scratched the surface of what happiness is ahead.

Is this thing on?????

So I’m not certain what drives me to continue to do this. I’m not all that certain who reads this mess but I will just keep it up if for only my own way to release.

It seems there is so much going on around us with regards to natural disasters that it certainly does lend credence to some of the doomsday predictions. Some would say this is the beginning of the rapture. I would say that you only need to go back as far asY2K to understand all the nuts out there predicting the end. There is no denying, however, the unprecedented disasters in such a short time, be they tsunamis, earthquakes (perhaps that was not the right order for those two), fires, tornados, floods, you name it. So are all of these disasters part of a grander plan or is it just a bunch of tightly wrapped coincidences? The debate churns on.

Now I don’t know about you but I think Osama Bin Laden has gotten enough press. This guy was nothing more than an overeducated animal. There are more to follow him within that culture of terrorism and this fight will never end. Good and evil and fought each other from the beginning of man and nothing we do will eliminate that completely. We can work to make the world a better place but let’s not have false perceptions that terrorism will be eradicated. This is all I will write about this as I’ve already given him too large a paragraph.

I know part of the answer to this next question about the few readers that actually look at this but do any of you go to church? Why do you go? What do you get from it? What do you give back to it? Do you have the expectation that you only get from church and should not have to give? I’m not speaking merely of a financial nature but of the three T’s and if you go at all I need not explain them. (If you don’t go look it up!) Twenty something years ago I finally realized that to me your religion was not only something you received something from but something that really commanded interaction. We live in such a shallow world these days that people can’t look past their I-Pads or cell phones to even begin to understand that this life is not all there is and I would suggest you work on yourself to make the positive transition to the next life. Does this mean going to church every Sunday? It does for me and this is the one thing I need to be selfish about. I’m not going to pretend to know what’s right for everyone but I do know what’s right for me. I’m not making judgments about how everyone lives out their lives just trying to make you think. If you have children you owe it to them to at least give them the right start.

So that’s it for now. I must head out the door and continue to make a living. I am so blessed and have so much to live for and hopefully have many more years to get the most I can out of this temporary life. But my point to my previous paragraph was I hope everyone comes to the realization that what you have here and who you are now is only a stepping stone and you might just be determining the next stone you are stepping on….

The Time Is Upon Me

So I knew in my mind I needed to write this if for no other reason than for self-therapy. The day is fast approaching when it’s been a year since my dear Dad passed and joined our Lord. I have thought of this man every day since he has passed and that is no exaggeration. So I thought I would write a few jumbled thoughts and memories of this man.

He was not perfect…..unless of course you asked his opinion. He was loyal to all that were loyal to him. He loved to use his hands to craft just about anything and he indeed could craft just about anything. He was a very prideful man which could often be seen in his craftsmanship. He grew up in a time and place where men just didn’t express emotions outwardly. That being said, when he shook your hand and meant it….you knew. He never uttered I love you freely or openly…..but if he loved you…..you knew. As time went on he mellowed a bit with his emotions but he still had a very strict set of public display rules. I saw my Dad cry twice in my life. Once when he lost his soul mate and once as I was departing on one of my last trips North when I think we were both scared it might be our last face to face encounter. Both times were difficult for me but the last time was much harder. I was privileged to be able to spend alone time with him after losing Daisy and I could share what I went through losing Karen and he really listened to what I had to say and I think we connected in a way I never had until that time. I will never forget that.

More memories of this man….I remember brook fishing with him…..I remember when I was 13 being hit by a car while living in Lyon Mountain. He was sitting on his recliner (which he loved to do after a hard day of work) and heard the siren of the volunteer fire department all the while thinking someone else will get this call. Little did he know at the time I was the reason for the siren! I remember our shopping trips to Malone to the Ames Store….big doings for me…and then eating at the A&W. I remember him teaching me to drive. (Or at least trying to teach me)

I remember when his Dad was aging and getting near death how difficult it was for my Dad. He had to go and do some of the most basic things for him. I don’t remember him actually crying about this time but I do remember how sad and frustrated he was. Ironic but I was probably feeling some of the same emotions before my Dad passed as he did years ago about his Dad.

I remember his smile…..I remember the mischief in his eyes almost always followed by and action to reinforce the look. I remember his patience (OK this was in his earlier years as his patience wore thin over time)…..I remember all of his Arthurisms i.e.…”oh my aching back…holy mackerel,” etc. I remember his firm handshake. I remember my one spanking…yep I deserved it. I remember his trumpet playing in the basement that so inspired me. I remember playing with the hair on his arm as a child and getting the firm stop it and it only took once. I remember the wafting cherry tobacco smoke of his pipe. I remember his annual Christmas Eve parties. I remember our cross country jaunts with travel trailer in tow and listening to him an Daisy argue about the best route…I remember keeping my mouth shut during those arguments! I remember our political jousts which we always thought in the end we each won.

I suspect I lost everyone reading this who doesn’t know either me or him in some capacity and that’s fine. I really didn’t write this for anyone but myself. That being said, I think it important for everyone to realize and consider how your actions throughout your life can both impact and inspire. I was fortunate to have a Dad that did those things for me and so much more.

I love you Dad…..I will always carry you with me….and I will always remember……..

Thank You Kelly

So recently I was invited to my brother-in-law’s retirement ceremony in Washington DC at the Arlington National Cemetery women’s Center. I thought I would share a few impressions about the whole event.

If you’ve never been to Arlington you owe it to yourself if you consider yourself a patriot or even a historian. This place is a very impactful representation of how so many have given up the ultimate sacrifice to allow us to be safe and allow us to have the freedoms we so often take for granted. Just the size of the place made me emotional and touched me to my core. The next time I hear someone whine in a line at the grocery store about how long it is taking I will think of this place. The fallen in this place fought for you to stand in that line without fear.

I was in the Air Force for one stint and although I really don’t place myself in this group it makes me proud to know I served. I still get overwhelmed thinking of the first look at Arlington. There are no words I can write to describe the feelings.

Now on to the occasion that I visited this place; my brother-in-law Kelly was being honored in a way most NCOs’ are not honored. He was retiring from the Air Force having achieved what only 3% of Air Force NCOs’ do achieve and that is making it to the grade of Senior Master Sergeant. There were many other reasons to honor this great man. He served with some of the top Generals in the Armed Forces and also distinguished himself everywhere he went including some pretty difficult theaters.

To meet Kelly is to know Kelly. He has no pretention about himself and you never need to wonder where he stands on any particular issue. You do have to have a pretty radical sense of humor if you plan on keeping up with him. He is honest to a fault….thoughtful….intelligent…..a great friend; husband, brother, uncle and Son. If he never served in the Air Force he would have distinguished himself wherever he went.

I know no better honor for any man than the last paragraph. So to close this I just want to say thank you Kelly. Thank you for spending all those lonely nights….those challenging days….and those 28 years as guardian of our great country. Most importantly, thank you for allowing me the privilege of knowing you.

Passion

For some strange reason that escapes me as most strange reasons do, I seem to be thinking about a word lately and just how it relates to life in general. The word gets tossed around frequently and can sometimes be misconstrued. Its killing you now right? Ok, enough toying with my reader…..the word is passion.

Now I’m not letting the discussion degrade into the sexual connotations of the word although I do believe the parallels are uncanny. Let’s do something I do frequently when bringing up words and look to the origins of the word. So here is what I found out about this word:


Date of Origin 12th c.
Latin patī meant ‘suffer’ (it is the source of English patient). From itspast participial stem pass- was coined in post-classical times the nounpassiō, denoting specifically the ‘suffering of Christ on the cross’. English acquired the word via Old French passion, but its familiarmodern senses, in which ‘strength of feeling’ has been transferred from ‘pain’ to ‘sexual attraction’ and ‘anger’, did not emerge until the 16thcentury. Also from the Latin stem pass- comes passive (14th c.), etymologically ‘capable of suffering’.


I had a feeling that the origin would be through Christ’s passion specifically about his suffering during his last human days. This topic now becomes even more relevant as we are into Lent now and that suffering for many Christians is about to be relived once more. That will always be the ultimate display of “passion”.

Another by-product of passion, at least in my eyes, is how successful people always have it in their lives. Most people I know do not luck their way into success. Think about anyone you deal with, work for or read about who is successful. If you ever listen to someone speak about what makes them successful almost all will say to have a dream, work for that dream and you will realize success. Having dreams is important but I think without the passion to work for that dream, the dream by itself is of no real value.

This passion does not always reveal itself in a most abundant or recognizable way. Take my Dad, for instance (God rest his soul), you might not always see his passion. He was often a soft spoken man but if you knew him and I mean really knew him, you knew where his passions resided. Here are a couple examples…Yankees, politics, family, working with hands. I threw the last piece in because those other aspects were pretty in your face and obvious but if you knew how he kept busy in his woodworking long after he retired you understand what I am talking about. It wouldn’t matter if it was a flower box on his house, or a picture frame or clock he would always use the same meticulous passion for detail that made anything he worked on extra special. That’s the kind of passion I’m referring to at the moment. I’ve had bosses who had it. If you take the average person and inject passion into them about something, it spills over and becomes very inspiring to others.

Passion is not something you are necessarily born with and that may be the best news of all. There’s still time! You may be confusing passion with self-respect and although most that have passion have the second trait there are many who don’t hold both characteristics. There are many hard working people that don’t necessarily exhibit passion about their work and that’s OK. The leaders that are successful generally take care of that.

I took on this subject not to bore you….ooops too late….but really to kind of make you step back and perhaps look at yourself. Do you have passion about something? Do you share that passion? If not you should. You may just impress someone who could change your life. Food for thought….or perhaps not.

Once Again..Oil Companies Get The Goldmine and We Get The Shaft

I am always somewhat amazed as are many just how quickly gas prices tick up at just the thought of turmoil in the Mideast. As if this is something new these countries are suffering from internal fracturing. Libya is somewhere around 3% of the world’s oil production and yet they seem to have an amazing impact on refined gasoline prices.

What is befuddling to me is the fact that these countries have been at war if not with their neighboring countries then with themselves for about as long as they have existed on the planet. They know nothing but war as the way to solve their problems. This has almost always been the case and will be long after I’m but a memory in the flash of the human being pan.

Now the oil companies and markets can have a field day with consumers in the name of political unrest in the Middle East. What a farce! It is what it is. We will continue to be the ones to suffer and they can continue to dupe the consumer simply because we have no other option. As long as Liberals are controlling things, we will be powerless to be able to drill and become self sufficient. We will, of course, make sure that the clubbed foot seal or the spotted polar bear is safe long after we have left the planet. That seems to be a noble way to snuff ourselves out.

I know….I hear many of you saying that once again this conservative whack job is just spouting off. Then again, take note of your total at the pump next time you fill up and thank the government for saving the spotted ring horned horny toad from extinction. I think we will be extinct before the toad.

Vices???

I thought I would think a little about people and their vices. We all have them and if you deny it you are kidding yourself. (That in of itself is a vice) I always like when I think about simple things, which my little brain has a tendency in doing, to look at a word’s basic definition. Here is my outdated dictionary’s definition…actually it has several:

1 (a)An evil action or habit (b)evil conduct (c) I like this definition; prostitution 2 a trivial fault or failing.

Curious how prostitution falls under the evil action or habit (Habit???Really?????) And not under a trivial fault or failing. Seems to me it would be as trivial a fault as a habit! I guess I should not focus on that one definition as I think the author, whoever the author for Webster’s Dictionary might be, was almost making an editorial comment. The author could have said booze or smoking or a very large group of other vices.

Do you wonder who actually invented the first dictionary? I guess the Bible could fall under that in some ways as it definitely defined many things although with each passing generation man tends to enjoy redefining behavior as a way, I think, of rationalizing. What kind of person has dictionary author on their resume? Do they sit around in committees trying to think up new words or make up new words so they can write a new book? Seems like a pretty tedious way to make a living. Personally I prefer massacring the existing words and sort of literally burning them beyond recognition.

Seems I have strayed from my original thought, what a surprise, so I will revisit it for a moment. We all have vices. I’m not here to air any dirty laundry….I do believe my list of vices could be considered average to below average. Writing is a sort of vice for me but I would consider it a good vice….not the evil habit but more the trivial fault. As I re-read that definition I come to the realization that a good vice is an oxymoron. According to the Webster geeks a vice can only be evil or trivial. (or prostitution)

I guess in a matter of speaking many of us have vices to replace what we really should be doing. (Or to forget what we really should be doing) Many people drink for that very reason. The fact is you can drink yourself into believing you have no worries but eventually you wake up realizing everything is as it was with the exception that you are hung over and more broke than you were. So vices are in the very simplest terms I think crutches. You can put lipstick on a pig but at the end of the day it’s still a pig.

Don’t have answers and I make no judgments here. Vices are what they are. You either learn to live with them if they don’t destroy you or you change. I try to fix what I can about myself and let the chips fall after that point. If this little post made you think a bit than you are obviously intellectually far superior to your other human friends…so rejoice in your superiority but try not to do it with a vice.

Really Important Questions....(NOT)

So I have some questions about some of the oddities of life. I might just as well dive in so here goes…

Did you ever notice that a coffee mug and I don’t mean one of those prissy little pinkies in the air cups is about two cups of what your average coffee maker says? Is this some evil conspiracy to make everyone drink less coffee? It seems a little counter-productive if you make coffee makers. One additional thought….if you make coffee makers I guess that makes you a coffee maker maker…..hmmm

Why are pill bottles usually about 4 to 5 times larger than the contents? It would seem drug manufacturers could cut their costs (and ours!) if they would look at that!

I wonder about these new phenomena of post-it notes. I thought this was quite an ingenious invention but why are they now making them so small that it takes a magnifying glass if you actually want to write a note? They now make a computer post-it note…..what’s that all about….how many post-it notes does one have to write now that they must put them around virtually now???

I marvel at this issue….you know the issue of the incredibly difficult task of opening a CD. The companies seem to be adverse to improving their packaging so now another company says ok….we’ll make a new gizmo (technical term there) that with four swipes can disarm this packaging. American ingenuity abounds….or was it Chinese?

Here’s a puzzler to me; why are there about 50,000 varieties of batteries made? I understand that different voltages are required for different types of electronics but look at the watch battery kiosk sometime….they are all pretty much the same voltage and come in 50,000 sizes. (Perhaps a slight exaggeration) What’s that all about?

I wonder just how many wall calendars are made in or should I say for this country. They have entire stores in our wonderful malls devoted to calendars. I would bet they make enough of these often hideous calendars to put on every wall in every room in this country and even perhaps the world! I say our first green initiative would be to stop making so many calendars.

Here is something most people won’t care about which is exactly the kind of thing I enjoy bringing up….just how many types of weather radar are required to determine it’s going to rain outside and how do they still get it wrong??? Our local stations seem to have many different types with snappy names like Doppler Interactive Radar….why in the world would I care to interact with weather radar that gets it wrong anyway? My knee does a better job at the weather forecast!

More to come but I thought I would ask some of these things where most normal thinking people would not dare venture.

My Little World

So it’s Saturday morning and I have work to do. Those two terms just don’t seem well suited together so I may have to remove one and we all know we can’t control the day of the week.

I look around my heavily cluttered office and have so many things I could write about. On the wall I have an almost complete Jim Beam train that my Dad gave to me some time ago complete with the shelf he built with it. One of the cars still is untapped and being as I have no affinity for Jim Beam it may stay that way. It is obviously aged longer than Jim Beam is typically aged so I’m not certain what that means to the contents.

I have picture frames sprayed across the room with Dad, sons, daughters, wife, sister, grandchildren, a painting of Lyon Mountain, an obscure painting of a lighthouse scene, a golf course, and a beautiful scene from a place called Lake Junaluska in North Carolina. Seems like an interesting, if not always connected, plethora of topics.

I have a phone, an adding machine to count my millions and a tissue box when the realization I don’t have millions or even a calculable fraction of millions. I have an indiscernible group of books, CDs, movies of different formats, manuals, bibles, software. (You name it…it’s probably here although I might not know it) I have one of those weird gifts….a ceramic piggy bank with the words “Green Fees” on the side. It is most definitely empty which is yet another commentary on my golfing future. I have two printers…that’s right two. (To be fair one is a scanner/fax machine as well so I had a reason for printer two)

Let’s see what else I have…..a number of flashlights…some functional…some not so much. I have so many pens and pencils that I do believe I am very close to qualifying for the hoarder classification. My bet is 50% of these pens are dried up. I have a USB turntable for converting my albums into CDs. That project seems to have stalled out for some reason. BY the way, albums to you newborns are circular vinyl disks similar to a CD but oh maybe 3 times larger with grooves that contain music and other various audio compulsions of the good old days. There is still a rich sound that comes from vinyl that CDs will never capture.

I have a real antique in this office of mine….a phone book. To you newborns that was a rather cumbersome manual that served well as a doorstop, kindling and at one time was used to actually look up someone’s phone number. I hear now that they recycle whatever they get and make shingles from them.

I have a shredder. This was a device that really came into prevalence during the Nixon administration when covering one’s tracks became important….should have shredded those tapes as well.

Last on my list I will discuss is an exercise bike. It is very useful in hanging clothes on and leaning stuff against it that I have no real place for. It is a little difficult to dust so I avoid that task. I could go on with this inventory but since you are all asleep by this time it would only be for my entertainment. As a famous blogger once said….”Have a fine day”

Do You Hold The Answers?

So the question is still on the table. I realize that many have made up their minds one way or another but you really need to look at the facts that have been gathered before you can reach a conclusion and as I see it the conclusion is we don’t have enough facts. Our meager existence is really the major problem at determining the answer to this question. We can do all the surmising and theories but we don’t have enough long term evidence to answer the question. Long term is the operative phrase. I’m here to tell you that Bird Berdan (if he were still doing the weather for Channel 5) in upstate NY can not tell you unequivocally that this exists. All of the weathermen and women in the world can give you theories and many already have but they are just theories. All of Hollywood’s smartest celebrities (is that an oxymoron?) have also weighed in on this issue. All of CNN and MSNBC and FOX news have also distributed their theories on this issue. Let’s not forget the activist singers that are so well versed in this issue as well.

The question you may ask, if you’re still reading, is this; Does global warming exist? The really curious thing about this is that scientists on a global spectrum differ about it. Some say we are actually experiencing global cooling while some say we are doomed to the ozone dissolving up and our existence as humans will be snuffed out. Now ask a scientist and you will get completely different opinions. How can that be? Is our data not the same across the board? Perhaps it’s because the data is such an infinitesimal example of our Earth’s existence that we have no real way of knowing about the heating and cooling cycles of the ball we live on.

I will tell you that from my experience on this subject that the green referendum and movement that is surfacing seems to me to be more about making a profit on people’s fears than on actually doing something for our , what some people think, fragile environment. I’m sorry but CFL’s are a waste of money and technology. What will we do with the massive amounts of mercury that will be building from these bulbs going into our landfills? Mercury is one of the most toxic elements on Earth to humans and yet this goes totally unchecked. I am looking forward to initiating the first class action lawsuit when this reality comes to fruition and mark my words, if the ozone doesn’t disappear and we don’t fry up like apple fritters this will happen.

You may have figured out what side of the fence I’m on with this issue. You would know because I am really not lobbying for the green movement. The other opinion I hold is that we are so insignificant to our Earth that it makes no real difference if we use corn to power our cars or hydrocarbons; what will be will be. The other thing that helps me with my feelings about this issue is I know in my heart I am only a temporary resident of this ball we live on. I know there are bigger and better things awaiting me and they don’t include forks made from potatoes.

Now I am not advocating that we are irresponsible tenants of this planet. What I am saying is we can be responsible about keeping things as clean as possible and not leaving behind a worse planet than we were handed and we can do it without all the hype and fear mongering that this green movement spews forth. We simply need to temper these initiatives with common sense and forward thinking and be aware that many of these green products will indeed hold unintended consequences if they are not fully researched before they are mandated upon us all!

2011.....Here goes

So here we are; made it to a new year. 2010 was certainly full of drama and surprises as well as some mourning in my case. Let’s look a few of the events in 2010 that were to many significant.

With me, personally, I had a major upheaval in my life losing my Dad. This will be the first complete year that he is not with me at least in a physical sense. I won’t say the holidays were smooth sailing. Although I had many moments of joy, laughter and thanksgiving I also had to deal with some raw emotions of loss. I know my future must be dominated with thanks for all I have been blessed with and that will be one of my goals.

This year saw my daughter have a career bump in the road. While it was somewhat challenging, she emerged from it by not only turning things around but by gaining a new appreciation for what is important and she is now in a really good place. Personally and I could not be more proud of her.

My beautiful lady, Linda, has passed the three year milestone of being cancer-free and we are all so blessed for that. My life is truly complete with that lady next to me and my prayer is God continues to bless us both with good health.

My Priest celebrated his 25th year of ordination and I was blessed to not only be his Senior Warden for the event but I was also privileged to be a part of his flock for a majority of those years. He truly is a man of and about God and has made a distinct and permanent impact on my life as well as many others.

I have had the good grace to re-connect with many family and friends alike through Facebook. The internet, with all its warts and problems, has made the world a smaller and more connected place.

The political face of our country is changing to the joy of many (myself included) and to the chagrin of some. Only time will tell if it’s only a cosmetic change or an actual change for the betterment of most. The cynics think it won’t change. The optimists such as me think it will improve. We’ll see I suppose.

So here we go…....2011 whether we are ready or not is here. It will now be our task to either try to change what we can, keep steady what is good and as the saying goes have the wisdom to know the difference. I seem to be more constantly reminded that getting old is not for wimps. I pray that whatever this year holds for all of us, we overcome the challenges and receive immense joy from the victories!